a few thoughts in the late night

Dear my lovely readers,


it is late where I live, and I woke up, and won't be able to get back to sleep, it is a little past the half way mark of October, and this year continues to be one I wish never happened, and I can honestly say I have never wished a year would end so much in my life, or I could do a year over, because if I could I do everything different.

so I watched this video on youtube


and everything he says is true, when you have a learning disability you do try to hide it from everyone, and you do hide the fact you are in special education, because you are embarrassed about it, because most everyone looks down on people in those kind of classes, or people with an LD as dumb, so you yourself look at your own self as dumb, so you do everything to hide it, even people you are more smarter than who are not in special ED. look at you as dumb. the crazy thing is I tried to be a little more open recently with having a learning disability with people, but those same people still called me stupid or dumb, and made fun of me anyway, so it made me not want to be open about myself with anyone, and I have shut myself down to people about everything, and this has caused a set back with 1. my psychologist, because I don't want to see one any more, because I don't feel like talking to anyone about things since I no longer have the trust in people, and 2.since I know longer want to talk about it with anyone I just hold everything inside, and this is killing me, but since I feel I can't talk to anyone I have no other choice, and because of that my depression is just getting worse rather than better. so if someone has a learning disability don't call them stupid, just as you should never call someone that struggles with weight issues fat, and never call anyone ugly (unless it is referring to them on the inside) or any negative thing, because you never know how it will effect a person, especially if you are their friend, because 1.it makes you false, and 2. in a sense makes you a bully.

finally, The Vikings suck this year, and that's all I'm going to say about that, because that rant would take a book to fill -__-


that is all for now,

I love you all very deeply,
your friend,
VPK