The Year That Was

Dear my lovely readers,

so the year of 2011 A.D, or C.E is coming to a close soon, and I have to say 2011 has been a shitty year: everything got messed up with school, I was in the hospital a lot, I lost some friends, was depressed most the year, the Vikings sucked and so on,

however,

there are some things that have made this year not as bad as it could have been, I grew closer to some people, made new friends, and found hope in 2012,

this blog is not long, because I did not want to go on about how 2011 sucked, but pretty much want to say I have hope for 2012 to be a good year :)

I love you all,
Have a great 2012 A.D, or C.E
your friend,
VPK

p.s shout out to the Waffle Crew <4

JaJa (^__^)

love's bullet

Bright light of love

Her love for him was so bright,

As he made her life feel right,

When the world grew colder,

She could always rest her head on his shoulder,

They would always talk and kiss,

This was the most beautiful feeling to exist,

His light was so bright,

No end to their love is in sight.

Until in the flash of a heart beat

the light has become dim,

In the broken feeling she can’t swim,

As she holds on to a hopeless love for him,

But in the back of her thoughts,

Is the day she had caught,

Him in the act of cheating,

Now her heart is bleeding,

her once light  heart is near black,

From this heart break is no coming back,

And for every tear she cries,

The more she dies,

Lost blackness remains 

So too must he,

From a love so brightly,

To one so lost,

Two lives are the coast,

From a love that was broke,

In which cheating provoked,

He will die from his action,

And then be a subtraction,

Never leave a women broke, and upset,

Are words he will regreat,

He never listened too,

Now his time is due,

Love is tragic

Now the  last sound he hears is that of the gun

As she leaves her last words to him “I love you hun”

the gun fires, and hits him in the lung,

with his last bit of breath he hung,

on to say these words,

I am sorry this occurred,

and all that have I have done to you,

she looks him back, and says me too,

but so coldly starers,
End of life

as another shot goes between his ears,

she would  drown her self in the tub,
as she could not come above
Tragedy.

of love's bullet 

closing open eyes

I write with no pen,

Just the blood of my fingertips,

That stains the tree’s remains,

With the thoughts of my brain,

And what is seen that is written,

Is not always the reality of the meaning,

But eyes fall for believing what they see,

And form their version of the truth,

And becomes passed down from ear to ear,

From the tongue that changes as it hears,

The stories as they are told,

By the ones that had once read,

That was written on paper,

That was stained with the blood,

That is my soul.

insert title here

I know a world of closed eyes,
Where the deep thoughts lies,
And is always different,
Never dying always infant,
They are your dreams that are,
Lucid and the light of your star
As you dream to never awake,
Day dreaming for the sake,
You wish to find some way,
So you could stay,
Out in this world all day,
Visions of the mind’s most deep,
Entering this world as you sleep,
Reality begins to shift,
Everything known drifts,
In your mind’s pysicie,
Going into new galaxies,
Never known in reality!

Death of the world

where have you gone?
I use to see you every summer and spring,
near the flowers,
were you would make love and sing,
I would watch,
in hope I did not upset you,
if I did,
my feet would move faster than thought,
but this time now,
if I see you once it's miracle,
those who know not better,
rejoice in how you have disappeared,
only seeing the sting,
but not the sweet of your honey,
and with out you,
we shall pass away soon after,
with out your buzz,
we sing the song of the grave,
unable to change the melody,
please don't die,
otherwise so too shall I,
and all that is a being,
there eyes are blind seeing,
we need you,
like love needs hate,
good needs evil,
right needs left,
joy needs sorrow,
life needs death,
please, return to us.

Daisy's Death Date

The wonderful colours,
of a world black and white,
near the mighty willow,
where the ladybugs are weeping,
and the birds mourn,
The grass surrounds in comfort,
The roses sing songs of sorrow,
The bees remember the pollen,
the sad eyes of the trees look away,
the raccoons unable to hide their tears,
the cats and dogs hug in heartbreak,
the dirty rats cleans up,
oh poor daisy,
as today is your death date
A day the animals, bugs and plants
eyes all regret to see.

hey you

Dear my lovely readers,

Have a Happy Holidays, and thank you very much for reading my blog <3

love,
your friend,
VPK

^(--)^

I have been told,
how you have grown cold,
against this individual,
and now there is a hole,
in what seemed good,
this has come to be understood,
as memories of the past,
in a time I wish could last,
longer than it was,
but things change because,
they simply do,
but I will always love you,
in a way that is platonically,
and just maybe,
you one day will be,
friends again with me,
but even if not,
you shall never be forgot,
and in my heart forever have a spot.

when I don't sleep my mind just goes random

These are my eyes,
they stare at the flies,
as above my head they swarm,
as my body that was warm,
grows colder as time passes,
surrounded by the masses,
and I lay in a slumber,
moving on to what we wonder,
comes past the final chapter,
in the after,
hopeing for a new glory,
in our next written story,
but for this time being,
all these eyes are seeing,
me as I lay here, and rest,
talking about times that were best,
that we once had,
tears streaming sad,
but they also reflect,
on memories that become prefect,
and I sit in the aisle,
with nothing but a smile,
and my heart loves them purely,
and will miss them all surely,
but now from,
the shovels the dirt shall come,
and this is my goodbye,
but please do not cry,
because, one day I will be with you again,
and a new day together shall begin.

tired vic does not think sleep matters

As I play this game of pretend,
my mind begins to descend,
into its own limbo,
were nothing is ever simple,
but everything is obscure,
as my thoughts are stuck in war,
that I can not win,
confused, like finding were we begin,
but I can not lose,
so my world is set to confuse,
but my thoughts are not set,
to make sense, yet,
only to be a translation,
from my soul's imagination,
and the readers interpretation,
of their own conclusion,
never to be proven,
and just a possibility,
of the mind that is me.

Religionious

Dear my lovely readers,

while I do believe in the Holy Most High, and believe that there are Goods, and evils simply beyond what the human mind can understand, and in essence the human life is nothing more than a trial of weather, or not you will be wicked, or Good in the life that actually matters, and the one that never ends, that of the soul, I would never say I am religious, or even have a religion. now I do read the bible from time to time, and enjoy church, but the thing about Religion is it sets it self up to make one not have an open mind, and pretty much becomes a prison. sure you can say science does the same thing, but the thing about that is lots of scientist actually believe in GOD, or the possibility of one, and while one might think they are out to prove that The Holy Most High does not exist that for the most part is false, because they pretty much know it is something that can never be proven, so they don't really do that. of course their are some who do try to prove weather, or not the universe was a great creator, but at the same time most don't knock people for believing in one, but with most people that call them selves religious they pretty much keep them selves locked away from an open mind, and never question anything, but just accept what it is. now I would never question the Holy Most High, because I simply do not exist without him, but I do question things such as what existence is, what is a year to GOD, how much of any secret text is the word of GOD, or just man's way of controlling the mass by claiming it is the word of GOD for man's well being, als I ask thing such as did GOD create emotions in humans before man committed sin, or did they come after, how much free will actually exist, and other more complex unanswerable questions that exist in the depths of my mind.

oh, and if you are wondering about what I meant by the human life is simply just a trail, well humans are born neither good, or evil, and they become one as life goes on, but truthfully no one is just one, but both, and simply one is just higher in each person, so life is a trail to see what your soul will be. now since I don't know if souls exist before we are born, or anything like that it gets complicated, just as I have no clue what happens to babies that die at birth, I mean do they get another chance as another baby, or maybe it is something else.


that is all for now,

I love you all deeply,
your friend,
VPK

winter

when it is time for winter,
the snow flakes begin to fall,
and thoughts of summer
begin to come, and spring,
and everything becomes cold,
but then children build men
made from the snow,
and from the houses,
hang many icicles,
and the windows glass,
is covered in frost,
and everyone begins to smile,
and winter becomes beautiful!

Fall

when the summers fall,
autumn begins to call,
and life feels so goodie,
as I put on my hoodie,
and the leaves colour change,
across the mountain range,
and all prepare their year,
for the winter that's near.

Summer

Summer you are to hot,
but not have you,
I think I rather not,
as I love the feel of sand,
of the beaches on my feet,
as my skin gets tanned,
and I go for a swim,
to cool off in the water
while singing a summer hymn,
until I sit in the air conditioner,
in my peaceful home,
oh summer, how I love her.

Spring

I can't wait for the spring,
to come and bring,
me the beauty of flower bed,
and joy is high in my head,
as under the sun's shine,
the season is mine,
and I feel a soft breeze,
as the feeling never leaves,
come fast my spring,
so we can have our yearly fling.

Dear Imelda

Dear Imelda, you sung beautiful today,
and if you don't mind may,
I ask you for another song,
for my journey that is long,
so that I may dance,
knowing that there is a chance,
when life is a mayhem,
and I want to scream damn,
and all feels blue,
one day I will feel love's tattoo,
so may I have one more,
lovely song from your,
beautiful album that gets me through,
please Imelda, and thank you.

A cheetah chase

A cheetah runs so fast,
across the African Grass,
his claws give him great traction,
his tail keeps him in balance,
as he chases the impala,
across Africa's plains,
the impala is fast,
but the cheetah is swift,
and much faster on his feet,
as the spotted cat,
runs like the wind,
and catches his pray,
and makes hum the meal,
of the cheetah's day.

A silent whisper

A silent whisper,
fell upon her ear,
he spoke so soft,
only she could hear,
the words that were spoken,
put her in paradise,
you are the token,
of my heart's desire,
and I would not trade you
foe all the riches of the entire,
world, my dear,
those where the words,
he whispered in her ear,
so soft like cotton,
that all her past woes,
were in a heart beat forgotten,
she was high as a dove,
and they were in the harmony,
of the beauty of love.

oh, so you think you fooled me?

Dear my lovely readers,

As many of you know, the United States government is pulling all the troops out of Iraq. and the war is over. how nice of them, well no not really, because you see they are not pulling them out because they care about them, but rather, because they know that they will never get what they wanted in the first place, control of the oil fields, so they are playing this pulling them out of Iraq card to look good, and hide their wicked ways, and could care less about them.

The U.S government left Iraq in worse shape than it was before they entered, because this is pretty much what they did, lets say Iraq was a chocolate company, and it had one boss who controlled everything, but then another chocolate company called the United states came along, and removed that boss, so it could do a bloody take over, and get control of the Iraq chocolate company, but would just say it was still the Iraq chocolate company, but instead of being an easy task the U.S chocolate company found them selves in a war between who from the Iraq chocolate company would control the company, and once the U.S chocolate company realized they would not get control of Iraq's rich chocolate they took their workers out, and left Iraq in a mess.

now I am happy the troops are out of Iraq, and coming home, because it made no sense for them to even be there, and now they can be home with their families, and not die, but what I am trying to say is don't let the government fool you they are evil, and everything they do for the most part is evil even when it seems good.

love, your friend,
VPK

this is what happends when I do not sleep: my mind goes all over the place

Dear my lovely readers,

what is the substance of existence? Now I don't mean how we come to be as far as men and women mixing sperm with egg, because we know how that works, but how everything can to be. The truth is no one really knows, and no one can really explain it. we all have theories on what, and how we came to be, but not one person that lives, has ever lived, and will live can explain how existence started. now many believe a GOD, or Gods, but God in its self is a substance that can not be explained, but can only be theorized about, and can never be proven to exist, as it can never be proven not to exist. mathematically everything can be proven, but this maths of how everything came to be is simply beyond any math problem, and is one that can not be solved. maybe we are nothing more than characters in a film, or book. now this might seem unlikely, but think about this, do the characters in a film, or book know they are actually characters? no they do not. now some may say well sometimes they break the fourth way, but that is actually not possible, because they might talk to the read, or watcher, but they are not actually doing so, but just doing what is written, so everything we do could simply be written, and that is what our existence actually is, in other words, free will does not exist, and we are just words, or simply just seconds of a long film being watched. maybe we are nothing more than a dream, or being imagined by someone sleeping, or even just someone in class thinking instead of paying attention in class, but then again how far would existence go? if we simply a book, or a dream who is to say the author, or sleeper is not their self characters in a book to someone who is a character in a book/ it would be like when someone writes about a fictional writer, and that fictional writer writes about a fictional writer. with that said something would have to be the beginning, and the only, so perhaps nothing exist, but God, and he is just an author, or dreamer, but this gives birth to the question well how did God come to be, because nothing no matter what exist before there was something, so how then did God come to be, but like I said God is a substance no religion, science or philosophy can explain, and is beyond existence its self.

maybe I should try sleeping from time to time,

love,
your friend,
VPK

once in a while I am happy!!!!

sometimes my soul is free of pain,
and I feel this great sensation,
this I can't explain,
but it sparks my imagination,
like the beauty of rain,
and my mind burns with pleasure,
like fire burns wood,
and I see life's treasure,
I really wish that I could,
feel like this everyday,
I sing in the garden of flowers,
without any mental decay,
and be happy for all my hours,
and I bring you along,
for this great delight,
and we sing a song,
of this beautiful flight:)

The hidden water

my very lonely eyes,
by the sea of despise,
hidden by a happy disguise,
but that is just a defence mechanisms,
to keep hidden my self despotism,
my very lonely ears,
by the river of tears,
hidden to tell over fears,
so we keep this hidden,
from the world it stays forbidden,
my very lonely heart,
by the lake of fall apart,
hidden like messages in art,
so many do not see,
what goes on in the mind of me,
my very lonely soul,
by the ocean of woe,
hidden by the waters flow,
so no one sees the black hole,
and how sorrow has control,
I am too alone,
my mind is stuck in this zone,
were I am drowning in this wasted land,
waiting for the rescue of your hand.

Why can't

I trust people? why must when I trust people do they put a knife through my heart? then they run around saying they are good people, and maybe they are, but what gives them the right to murder me? it is not like I have done anything to anyone to deserve this when it happens, but I guess that is just my life, and it will go on until I am dead, and by the way who would I make sad if I died? my fried? they don't even know I am alive, so why would they care I died, ny family? nope? anyone? I wonder about this at times

21/12/2011

my eyes will not close,
and my sorrow has rose,
as it begins to close,
and any happiness that bestows,
dies as quickly as it is born,
as I go to grab the flower of gladden,
I feel the prick of sorrows thorn,
and my heart becomes sadden,
this sorrow has been my calamity,
since the day I entered humanity,
and left the fruit of the womb,
now I rest under the dark moon,
waiting for my tomb,
but maybe hope will rise,
and this life I despise,
will be worth living before my demise,
and in my life's days,
sing her beautiful praise

no sleep vic

I am in the clouds,
like the wings of an eagle,
but my wings have yet to take flight,
and my heart is in the pacific,
but my mind in the far east,
where I rest with the princess,
the most finest wine of my heart,
in which I wish to give you a cup,
of what's made from the divinest grapes,
your lips could ever taste,
but instead I am stuck here,
alone in this empty space,
as my soul soaks in sorrow,
feeling like a waste,
maybe I just have yet to find my path,
in which my feet shall take,
but many steps I have walked,
have been a mistake,
but the day shall come,
when my soul knows its journey,
and all that is written,
shall just be the past chapters,
and the pen of life,
that writes everyday,
shall write the most beautiful poems,
about the stars that rest in my heart.

Open letter

I write this open letter,
in hopes of keeping my mind together,
so any eyes that come across,
what is written of my thoughts,
I hope you understand clearly,
that I love you all dearly,
but life is not so peachy,
and I don't know what keeps me,
from closing my eyes never to again open,
maybe I am just hopein',
that the time shall come,
that I don't feel numb,
and the only thing I'm isolated from,
is sorrow's brutal chains,
and whips that leave me in pain,
with depression that controls my brain,
but as fro right now,
I don't know how,
from these thoughts to get freedom,
even though I know I don't need them,
but still my hope exist everyday the sun is in the sky,
therefore I know I can't die,
by my own hands,
even if it feels no one understands,
what I am trying to say,
to them each and every day,
so I wrote this letter,
in hopes you understand me better,
and everything will soon click,
love, your friend, vic

Sovereign love

Take Public Warning,
life is a Jigsaw puzzle,
and sometimes you work 9 to 5,
for crumbs and Pennies,
and life feels Pretty Vacant,
but at the Gatheration
the way you play the Guitar,
in your black hoodie,
erases the feeling of Blah Blah,
and you say I Got the Goods,
so Let's Be Mates,
and Fiddle with the Volume,
of my heart, and sweep away,
any sorrow I had with a broom,
and make me feel ok to be so human,
as we stand together like a Student Union,
and you say wonderful things that are so Random,
as we talk about the past, and how Those Were the Days,
and you joke with me saying I Got You Dancing,
the wonderful Tango, and we have Food Play,
which leads to A Little Bit of Shhh,
and we Bang Bang,
and you look me in the eyes,
and say Love Me or Hate Me,
I will always love you,
like I love My England ♥

18/12/2011

Inside a wonderful dream,
Wishes always gleam,
And people began to sing,
Natural as the spring,
Thoughts that bloom,
Taking you to the moon,
One as it seems,
Dreams that are supreme,
Incredible as the ocean in the pacific
Everything feels beautiful and terrific

lack of sleep

Dear GOD, I know I a here for confession
but I have so many questions,
that are runnin' through my head,
is their really life after were dead;
when does life even begin;
can we kill the soul if to much sin,
why do you allow war;
do the people that don't believe you ignore;
why is my life so bleek,
and why to the people do you no longer speak?

I see you have so many questions vic,
no worries, there is no conflict,
because I can answer anything that comes from a brain,

I must be going insane,
my ears what do you hear?
I lost my head, that's clear,

you are not losing your mind,
now listen closely to the Divine,
I speak to people everyday,
I do it in the conscious way,
that is were we speak,
your life is only bleek,
because you think it's only pain,
and can't see the sun only the rain,
I am hear for all even those not believin',
war that is a tool of the human bein',
and there misuse of free will,
the soul is something sin can't kill,
life begins when the soul is born,
death only exist in physical form.

there are so many things I need to know,
what is the right path to go,
why is earth so messed up,
can't you take away the corrupt,
why do you even allow that which is bad,
my mind is going mad,

the path has already been written,
and are you forgettin',
the earth is not paradise,
I let the corrupt live to seek advice,
and to ask to be forgiven,
besides look at how you're liven,
you are not perfect don't forget,
and everything that exist has an opposite,
if there was no bad, nothing be good,
I hope all that I say you understood,
but now your alarm is going to ring,

wait GOD, I have so many questions to bring,
please let my alarm not go off by mistake,

I love you my child now awake

Hopeless love

fill my head with lies,
write these illusions on my eyes,
hold my hand,
as I get lost in this wasted land,
never let go of my palm,
with your whispers keep my calm,
my heart softly touch,
while you squeeze me in the cobra's clutch,
let your venom seep through my blood,
until I am dead, face down in the mud,
then give me the gift of breath,
and left me up from death,
as you shed your snake skin,
so I can fall for you lies once again,
and this once more can begin,
and I can smile, while you hiss,
waiting for your venomous kiss,
while imagining a love that never did exist.

<>!

fallen like a snow flake;
in a world of mistake;
dreams are my only escape;
from a reality that's no cake;
anxiety keeps me unseen;
but my dreams are bein';
the thing that keeps me intact;
from a world I wish I could subtract;
my existence from;
but when I sleep they come;
and I go to a place only I know;
deep within my soul;
swimming in my unconscious mind;
were to nothing I am blind;
and I never have deaf ears;
and hear everything clear;
and only talk in secret tongue;
and the mind is the sharpest sword swung.

bored well not really bored

you're the most lovely flower of the garden
so please pardon,
me as I write this to you,
hoping I break through,
your heart guarded by stone,
with the words of this poem,
if I was to live alone,
as a king on his throne,
you would be the one I seek,
like ears when a prophet speaks,
if I was a man that never knew sight,
my eyes would dream of your delight,
and if I was a flower,
I dream of you like a rain shower.

:::::

it makes no sense being,
with out you third eye seeing,
like mighty ships of a fleet,
only to be left in defeat,
no matter what method of war,
the wicked shall never conqueror,
those that are righteous,
because they know knowledge is priceless
and wisdom is better than silver and gold,
and have powerful thoughts no fool can hold,
like that of the mighty pen,
that writes the formation of the heaven,
and everything with in outer space,
with out ever leaving one trace,
of the pen's mighty ink,
so some search for the link,
either by science, religion or philosophy,
some combined all three properly,
and are aong the wise,
while the rest wait to become food to the flies,
but the ones that are right at heart,
save those that are torn apart,
by the wicked hand of satan's clutch,
helping them escape from such,
a world built on wicked ways,
building mentally each days.

just sayin'

if you love someone you will forgive them, but that does not mean you have to forget what they did, and just because you love them does not mean you have to like them!

Having a dream while your dreaming

Dear my lovely readers,

so I just woke up from a dream, and it went as follows,

I was sitting in my room, and a dog attacked me, and was biting my leg,


but then I saw another animal, and thought to myself "haha" I can use this animal to chase off this dog, because it would kick the dogs ass!

this animal was a



but the damn thing just started to eat me with the dog -___-


so I decided to scream for help, but no one came, so I was pulling my body, and screaming as these mean animals were eating me, until I got to the living room, and to my amazement, people were home, and ignoring me -__-

then I woke up....

in my dream, and it changed, to my aunt finding out she has cancer, and us going to the junk yard, with my cousin for something, and on are way there I told them about the dream, and when we got there, and got out, the freakin dog was there, and I was all like oh man fuck this shit I am going to stay in the car, and I started to look around for bears

then the dream changed to the story of why the junk yard man banned a nine year old from the junk yard, and I woke up

weird dreams are amazing!

that is all for now,


I love you all deeply,
your friend,
VPK

12/12/11

sparks from Heaven's beautiful sent;
brings my mind back to that moment;
where I would run through the fields of grass;
dreaming that this moment in time forever last;
your loving eyes across from mine;
freezing all aspects of time;
as we connect like faith and hope;
and I deliver a kiss like a letter in an envelope;
my mind sinks into this fantasy;
where I am with you, and everything is magically;
and this dream is beautifully,
perfect ♥

Angry Vic

Dear my lovely readers,

me being kind has driven me again to depths of despise, as humans are the most foul living things that this earth has ever known, nothing before, or after shall be as wicked as people, I spend my time being nice to people who deserve nothing of the word,but I should be angry, but no I show none against you all because of a love that has only gotten me murdered by your rotten ways. it is peoples fault I wish I was dead, and peoples fault I am depressed, because I know this is all a waste of time, but still I do it even as I die. never once did I take my sword, and cut you, but oh how you cut me, yet I am the way, as I am in hope that maybe a few will return the favour, but very few ever do, and I am the one left here to die.

to the very few who have not murdered me, thank you, my love for you is as deep as space is wide, and I will always be the way I am for you, and you help give me a reason to live♥

for everyone else, I love you anyway, so murder me all you want, you will not have been the first, and you will not be the last!

that is all for now,
I love you all deeply,
your friend,
VPK

Today is December Tenth in Twenty Eleven

my joy has been risen
like a man freed from prison
no longer in sorrow's shackle
it has been smoked like tobacco
I finally see life's gift
as you have given me a lift
to be able to sit and smile
and no longer feel like I'm on trail
this is a beautiful mind set,
and you I will never forget,
thanks for being there,
when others would not care,
you helped me in my self wars,
and for that my heart is forever yours <3

12/6/2011

I was alone in my room,
with nothing but my thoughts,
to keep my company, so I looked,
into the mirror,
but to my shock,
I did not know the person,
in the glass reflection,
I sat and stared,
for what seemed like hours,
but was only minutes,
as all my thoughts,
raced through my head,
I was not happy,
I was not sad,
but in a state of numb,
as I seen for the first time,
what I have become,
and what I have let,
take control of my life,
I knew I had to be here,
this was the right choice,
so I exited out the room,
and into the hall,
enter with the others,
and when asked why I'm here,
said the words from my lips,
I am depressed, and I'm lost.

I will be gone for a while, I don't know how long and I will miss you all, and will talk to you when I get back I love you all

when I am happiest I am my saddest; life makes no sense

when I am happiest;
I am my saddest;
life makes no sense;
someday you can explain;
this all to me;
until that time;
I sit here confused;
because everything that happens;
happens for a reason;
but I know not the reason;
nor the question I ask;
I just know no difference;
in joy and sorrow;
as they are one in me;
and forever with me;
it is a bitter love;
I wish not to have;
but could not live with out.

isolation

this is my island of isolation,
locked away in my self incarceration,
where I am in solitary confinement,
the cosmos have to be in perfect alignment,
I wounder the world lonely,
with my thoughts only,
to keep me company,
and these thoughts are my enemy,
among the worse kind,
and this is my state of mind,
to always feel rejected,
but this goes undetected,
from the real world of life,
like the sharp knife,
is hidden by the criminal,
or a message that is subliminal,
I am just a lost individual.

I was a man lost on the globe,
in life's wilderness,
foolishness deafed my ear lobe,
eyes blinded by the mist,
but then I heard
the blessing of the gospel
and learned about the word
and about his apostles
and I was given clear vision,
and seen the clear path,
out of the beast's prison,
and I started to build my craft,
based on this beauty of wisdom,
and the gift of this knowledge,
and freed my self from the system,
and began to acknowledge
and understand The Lord,
is my protector and shield,
and my mighty sword,
and I yield
my life to his teaching.

let's see

I don't think too many really read my blog, so I am going to write a random poem to see

my house is blue,
so are my walls,
in my bedroom
that is upstairs,
bath robes are warm,
when they are not cold,
in 98 years I will be old,
chicken soup for the soul,
is offensive to chickens
my mind is blank,
the bad strippa is a skank
tacos are good,
but this poem just now
is the worst I ever wrote

no guarantee

there is no guarantee in life, but death,
not that you will take your next breath,
of fresh and needed air
or about what you say someone will care,
none that you will ever be understood,
or life will ever be good,
not even that you will pay a tax,
or that sorrow will chopped by the axe,
of loves wonderful hand,
not even that the sand,
you walk on will be hot,
or that you will not be forgot,
no guarantee they will love your speech,
or you won't be a victim of the leach,
that sucks your blood, and soul,
no guarantee you won't be addicted to blow,
no guarantee you lover is not cheating,
or you will get pulled over speeding
there is no guarantee this will be read,
but there is just one guarantee, everyone will be dead

don't ever know

if I could live no more seconds,
of my pointless life,
I be happy with no need to reflect it,
I can lay in my grave as time passes,
slowly rotting away,
like the speed of molasses
I would no longer be a living half,
that thought be pointless,
as the world spins I laugh,
but no I am stuck among the living,
not swimming,
but drowning in a pool of worthless water

25/11/2011 A.D or C.E

upon my face burn the sun,
reflecting all that I have done,
my nightmares are a memory,
as grey as rocks of emery,
my heart beats fiercely.
while my mind feels guilty,
for never being capable,
of ever being inescapable,
of all that should not matter,
my eyes collapse and shatter,
and the glass shards,
are tears with regards,
to what is now gone,
and I become withdrawn,
from what is known,
until the light was shown,
and my mind becomes detached
for all that is hatched,
from the egg of thought,
but the light that is sought,
is caught, and sets me free,
from the chains that captured me,
and it shows me the road to freedom,
and how all this negative I don't need 'em,
and my happiness grows in pleasure,
beyond any measure,

Let me be Thankful

Let me be thankful, to you my Holy Father,
never will you leave me,
nor shall you ever give up
on me, even after all the sins
I committed, and will commit,
you still hold me in your arms,
let me be thankful for my my friends
and family you have blessed me with,
let me be thankful for all the people,
I have known, and had the chance,
to have happiness with,
let me be thankful for a mother,
whose love has no end,
let me be thankful, for Mary,
whose fruit of the womb,
died for my sins,
let me be thankful, for life,
and all that you have done for me,
and will do for me,
let me be thankful, for your everlasting love.

11/24/11

wash away my sins,
like the waters from a cliff,
wash away the dirt of the valley,
let me have the light of your gift,
that was given by your love,
let me carry my cross,
in your son's name,
let the Holy spirit,
be the flame,
that keeps my soul going.

This Is Amazing!

Dear my lovely readers,

This is a story from Joyce Meyer about her, and her father,

WARING!!! explicit content: watch with no kids around first





I find it amazing how she could forgive after all of that, yet some people will not forgive for things so small such as that person took my bag of skittles, forgiving someone is the hardest thing we can do, and if anyone tells you it is easy they probably are not telling the truth, because forgiving people is harder than holding a grudge against them just as hating someone is easier than loving someone, so no matter how hard it is, try to forgive the people that have wronged you.

another thing too is she is very lucky, and most will not turn out like her, and will be damaged mentally forever, and that may even lead to self harm, harm to others, and suicide, so do not bully anyone in anyway, because you not being a bully could save a life!

I will keep you in my prayers,
I love you all deeply,
your friend,
VPK

the bitter love of sorrow

what have I done to deserve all this pain?
lowering my head under these clouds of rain,
the sunshine of joy has been eclipsed,
and my mind has been losing it's grip,
I am just the fly at the funeral,
death is the only thing I know,
and sorrow is the lover of my soul,
everyone seems to come, and go,
but I will always have the bitter love of sorrow.

22/11/2011

by every aspect of the word,
I am nothing, but a loser,
not even worth heart break,
seen as a mistake,
of a broken condom,
as worthless as dust
on the window ledge,
or a painter with no brush,
all these cells
that form this person,
all these thoughts
from the mind of me,
are as pointless
as a kiss without
love.

criticizism

how much do they criticize,
everyone they despise,
without looking at their self,
with their very own eyes,
hypocrites by nature,
pointing your finger,
of venom with malice intent,
with your words that are sent,
like flames from a torch,
used to burn down the trees,
of everyone else's Forrest,
but those same trees you incinerate,
are the same ones you generate,
your act like you are distinct,
but your very seeds are identical,
to the ones you victimize,
with your words that criticize.

12:06 monday

As I close my eyelids,
and my dreams become lucid,
you run through them like a fawn,
during the peak hours of dawn,
galloping in the Meadows,
as it peaceful settles,
to drink from the creek,
the words you speak,
put my mind as ease,
and me on my knees,
and eager to hear,
everything with care,
that comes from your voice,
the sweet moist,
of its vocal,
become my very focal,
to hear your sweet whisper,
that paints a pitcher,
that is deep and vivid,
a dream that is knitted,
perfectly, like the notes of a composer,
it draws us in closer,
and are eyes are connected,
in a moment perfected,
are lips kiss so gently,
all hurt feeling of the past go empty,
and we enter mentally,
in a world of bliss,
but my alarm clock rings,
and sadly it brings,
and brings me back to what exist,
but every time I close my eyes, I dream of your kiss.

just something

enter deep inside,
of the flower's,
sweet rose petal,
A feeling of such beauty,
that lights the imagination,
and physical sense,
the astonishing feel,
of the daises sweet nectar,
getting you higher than a balloon,
that rises with helium,
no feeling is similar,
and once it is had,
the mind and body craves,
the very taste of the Cosmos,
as you wish to put your head,
deep in the flower's bed.
until you water the garden,
and in an instant,
you explode with excitement,
as the tasting pollen,
greets the wonderful fruit's
spectacular juices!

A Human Can Never Judge Their Self

Dear my lovely reads,

first off, let me say I hope you are all doing good, or at least OK, and if not I hope life gets better. I have been doing some reading of a book I have



and came up with a conclusion after I read from it, and was in thinking mood, and in the place where I do my best thinking, the shower, that a person can write a book about all the wrongs he has done in his, or her life, and they can sit there, and tell you about them all day, but most people would never convict their self to go to hell, so a human being simply can not judge his self based on that fact, even if he knows she, or he should be convicted they would not do so. now you may sit there, and while drinking you cuppa tea saying to yourself "what a rubbish thought vic is having, of course I would, or at least some would" and you are right there would be a few that would, but the vast majority would not, and in fact most would not even talk about their wrongs, but rather their rights in order to justify them not convicting their self, that is why if you follow me on twitter, or are friends with me on facebook I said a rose will tell you about its beauty, but never about its thorns, because a human will tell you about their rights, but never about their wrongs. of course other people that judge you are not always fit for the job either, and will wrongfully base their judgement on misguided facts, wrongful view points formed one way, or another, or simple hatred, so not all humans are good at judging, because of that, so in truth only GOD is can really judge, and be fair, but since GOD will judge only on judgement day we have to let humans judge, so if you are judging someone in the court of public opioid be fair in how you judge someone, and cut them some slack, because remember someone is always judging you, and there will always be people who have cut you some slack, and if you are a judge of court systems, be fair in how you judge, because remember the people have trusted in you, and they expect you to be fair, and judge accordingly, and not based on bribes, or hatred.

lol at me acting like court judges read my blog:D

that is all for now,

I love you all very deeply,
your friend,
VPK

My Attitude

Dear my lovely readers,

my main problem in life is my attitude, and how I feel. I will never truly be happy if I keep a sorrowful mind set. if I keep letting small things chip away at me, those small things will only become large. I have a lot I should be upset about, however I have a lot more I am blessed to be happy about. even writing this blog is something to be happy about, because many people in the world do not even have electricity, let alone a computer, or even a home, I get upset about my lack of grammar skills, but there are people who can't even read, and write, I get upset over my sicknesses, but there are people who have aids and cancer, so what I need to do is improve my attitude, and outlook on life, and think more positive, and learn to see how blessed I am. I hope you all are doing good, and I will continue to keep you all in my prayers ♥

that is all for now,
I love you all deeply,
your friend,
VPK

so what Saturday

my time has come,
drink 8 shots of gin,
finally I succumb,
in this life of sin,
the insulin injection,
lets me die slowly,
curing my self rejection,
a plan I know of only,
all would see this as a mistake,
as I sit and smile,
at my very wake,
awaiting my trail,
but until that time,
I no longer feel upset,
even if it is a crime,
I will no longer let,
my mind be the victim,
of this prism,
in which is a prison,
I stay in as long as I'm livin'
so let death be my key,
that finally set's me free!

I know why now

every time like in TV shows, or what ever when they are in Heaven someone is playing the harp, the music is heavenly to your ears!

idk Friday

All was done,
so I grabbed a gun,
and held my finger on the trigger,
no one would ever figure,
I was ever pull it,
but out came the bullet,
it whipped through the air,
as I sat on the chair,
from the sound my ears rung,
as the bullet collapsed my lung,
everywhere blood was gushing,
and the bullet kept pushing,
right through me,
I seen the letter R.I.P,
flashing right before me eyes,
this was how victor dies,
but I felt the cold sweat instead,
and woke up laying on my bed,
and no longer was in a nightmare,
but alive with a sense of care,
about all those who strive,
to keep this lost soul alive.

Thankful Thursday

As bright as the sun,
Nurturing like a mother,
Wisdom as deep as space,
Amazing as is beautiful,
Righteous as a child's smile,
Incredible like the winter air,
Loveable like a good feeling,
Outstanding as the stars,
Very caring and respectful,
Enlightened like the wise owl,
Universal in beauty and brains!

the sorrow of my life,
grows like the seeds,
that are planted in the garden,
they start of small,
but overtime they overwhelm,
and conquer my thoughts.
they waters of desire
give them life to grow,
the sunlight of depression,
gives them darkness to dye,
my soul the colour black,
the rotten fruit they grow,
taste as foul as the scent,
of death from the cemetery,
my life is just a novel,
written by the pen of sorrow,
each line of ink,
is just another why I think.
of how my life could be better,
but only leads to my cheeks being wetter,
because I am that of no point,
and all I do is disappoint,
what I wish I would not,
making me dream of my plot,
in which my body will lay,
all the rest of my days.

LORD, save me from Pharaoh,
his whips are coming down,
on me like rain from the sky,
beating me closely to death,
only to let me live just to suffer,
the next day under the dark sky,
I have fallen to the sands,
and the hot sum beats,
on my forehead, as sweat
pours down my cheeks,
LORD, save me at night or day,
show me the light of your way,
let me lean on your rock,
in the hells of the dessert,
fill my heart with your sprite,
and wash my sins away,
let me carry my cross
to the kingdom of Rome,
to die in your name,
and be born again,
washed in the blood
of the lamb of Judah

wonderful Wednesday

wonderful people I see,
that like to take their ax,
and chop away at this tree,
my bark slowly cracks
away, and my wood is used for fire,
to warm up the entire,
population, it keeps them warm and relaxed,
while I am replanted for the ax,
and the fire that burns
my very soul in the black
flames, my ashes in the urn
that is the fire place,
that burns away my face,
people are so vibrant,
chopping at me in a way that's violent,
and I suffer, and die in the silent,
ways of the human being,
the most wicked thing I ever seeing,
bringing me back to murder me again,
and keep me forever in pain.

I want to lay a kiss,
on your sweet lips,
and fall into the universe,
of the dazzling of your eyes,
while I hold you as tight,
as an embrace is loving,
the scent of your hair arouses,
my nostrils like the smell of a daisy,
the feel of your skin on mine,
is like the feel of rain
as it genitally falls in the spring,
you are a splendid dream,
I wish to always have,
when my eyes close,
my beautiful ray of light.

11/15/2011 because I am bored, and like to write

my eyes have been blinded,
and my lense of view has cracked,
so I no longer have a vision,
of life with these eyes,
but see with my soul,
as my only guide,
sometimes it too see's things wrong,
but it also pays more attention
to the words of my life's song,
and it allows me to sing freely,
and even in my self battle,
feel more peacefully.

Troubling Tuesday

my soul is in trouble,
as in the struggle,
I feel like life is hell,
wondering if I'm under a spell,
mixed in the witch's cauldron,
by the souls of the fallen,
my mind melts away like wax
on a candle, burning as the wick,
slowly dies by the flame subtracts
its life away, the devils sic
their wickedness on me like a blade
slowly cutting away, as I'm prayed
on by the hungry vulture,
whose life's very culture,
is to murder minds,
and keep us blind,
my very ears are deaf
to the words spoken from the breath
keeping me dreaming of death,
everything of gold I touch,
turns to nothing but rust,
as I get chocked out in the clutch
of the cobra's deadly lust,
whispering its sound,
as I hit the ground,
and my dreams are shattered,
becoming lost and scattered,
across the region,
in search of what I'm believin'
it's right in front of my eyes,
and spoken into my ear,
but the truth is covered by lies,
so nothing is ever clear,
and it becomes covert,
the shovels needed tp dig the dirt
are broken at the handle,
maybe I mishandle
everything, maybe I am serving,
this earth's king,
letting him lead
me to what I don't need,
I am nothing but a slave
to sorrows grave,
I need you to save
me,
from drowning in this sea
of a broken feeling
Lord, lay your healing
hand on my spirit,
so I am become coherent
to your gospel,
and life is never hostile.

I have a great affection,
for the beauty of your complexion,
each moment we talk I relish,
as you know how to embellish
my life from the woe,
and you helped to sew
my soul's torn textile
back together, you're worthwhile
like pottery cooked in a Kiln,
that comes out amazing like a film,
that is a classical,
as you showed me love is an actual
truth, and is an amazing fact,
as daily you help subtract
my life's sadness,
with your loving friendliness
you are more beautiful than a newly
diamond necklace, my eastern beauty ♥

Miserable Monday

The poor lady sits and cries,
miserably from her bedroom,
her heart has sunk so low,
like a ship swallowed by the sea,
no words are medicine that can cure,
her from the heart break sickness,
she was once a lady with a smile,
but in the grave now rest her love,
and with it so too does she,
it is not enough when
her tears are whipped,
or when a shoulder is given,
for her to lean,
what she needs
is now in the ground burred,
but the ghost of the past,
is what keeps her alive today,
and even in her missory,
she still finds a light,
to help keep her heart,
safe from the dark,
in life's tragedy,
but on this day for the rest,
of her life's years,
her eyes shall rain tears,
but no matter how much she cries,
I shall try to lift,
her broken mind, soul and heart,
because my love for her,
is deeper that the oceans,
of the Earth.

sorrowing sunday

our eyes are always wet,
because we will never let them dry,
we are just souls,
looking at the sky,
those cherished moments,
we will never forget,
like frogs flying,
through the air
landing on the river,
with a splash,
you walked the long journey
of a difficult task,
until that one moment,
in time where you grasp,
where ever step you took,
all the beatings you took,
all the loses you took,
were erased by the shinning
moment of glory,
all dream about, but few live,
all the beautiful memories,
you wonderfully created,
in our hearts forever will live,
and if our tears could talk,
the world would hear them wish,
that we could have just one more,
moment with Heat,
but until we meet,
again, we shall always,
miss you,
My friend♥

my eyes are not blind to reality,
the sticks, and stones of truth,
bruise my soul, leaving it in the hospital,
I do not blind my self with fiction,
and living this life is a convection,
and the sentence leads to the penalty
of death, with my hopeless breath,
maybe about this I do think
to much, but give me poison to drink,
so I can get away from this living decay,
I am on life alert,
with these feelings that hurt, I flirt,
with my passing, like a train travels,
or feet walk on the gravels, and in my battles,
my mind is heavily sore,
I am losing this war, and want no more,
sometimes I wish I was never born,
with these feelings leaving me torn, and worn,
God please give me relief
and save me from my grief.

on my shoulder part 2

on my should is an angel,
whom when my life is in a strangle
cuts the deadly rope,
ties around my neck by lucifer,
used to choke my hope,
when hell seems to occur,
my angel sitting on my right
shoulder gives me the sight,
I need to see that Elohim,
love's in eternal,
and he is the supreme,
being, and keeps me from the funeral,
my angel sits on my shoulder
and helps warm my hart,
when life gets colder,
and my mind falls apart,
my angel fights the fallen jinn,
and when my life is in hell again,
my angel is always there to reminded
me of my savour, and helps me find
the beauty in my life,
and cuts away this hellish strife,
my angel is a beautiful blessing!

The Beauty of The Middle East

Her lands so classical,
like the sounds of Beethoven's piano,
the depths of her wisdom,
are deeper than the Mariana Trench,
the feel of her sand,
is astonishing like love's whisper,
her knowledge is bright,
like the smile of a child,
the understanding I have for her,
is built like The Sphinx,
The beauty of the middle east,
is timeless as Elohim's love.

thoughts for the A.M of 11/12/2011

Dear my lovely readers,

sometimes in life you hate how things go, and think I have the worst life that exist on this blue planet, but the truth is someone always has it worse, and is going through much worse things that you go though, but it is hard to see that when everything goes wrong, so when people say the grass is greener on the other side remember that grass might not be so much better

This is what I realized as I sometimes think I am the one who has it bad, and lives in hell, but the truth is lots of people I know are going through worse, so now I feel more happy. Not because people have it worse, but because I am lucky I do not have it as bad as them, and I am blessed.

sometimes we Take for granted what we have, because it seems so basic, we really never think about how lucky we are to have things such as the ability to go to the kitchen, and get a glass of water, or a place to live that shelters us from the rain. but to the people of the world who do not know where their next meal is going to come from, or have no clean water to drink we are lucky, to the people that are homeless, and live outside, we are lucky,

with that being said, that does not mean we should not act like we have it great, because people have it worse. by no means should we act that way, because I can guarantee you that who ever reads this is going through some type of struggle, and it is making their life a living hell such as a struggle with health, money, love, etc, and they look at other people and see, and think how those other people have it better.



just remember in life someone always has it worse, and someone always has it better, nothing is perfect for anyone.

I will continue to pray for all of you, no matter if we are friends, enemies, former friends, oir we never even met in real, or e-life that happiness comes your way, and sorrow is diminished


until next time, take care,

I love you all deeply,
your friend,
VPK

because I am bored

I am nothing but dust,
from stars long gone,
that was crafted carefully,
by the hands of existence,
years before I was ever birthed,
or even a mere thought,
my soul already was,
but my existence was not,
until the night the air,
was filled with the sent of lust,
stars began exploding,
and from their dust,
I began to form,
deep in the depths of space,
until the day I was born.

the pen cuts my hands,
blood from my soul leaks fiercely,
from the vein that is my mind,
the paper is covered in my ink,
from my hands that bleed,
and when it dries,
my thoughts are what stains,
the lines on the paper,
my pain, my joy, my hate, my love,
all written in my blood.

I wonder

I wonder

if it will ever happen again,
or this is what is meant to be,
maybe my hope I am trying to sustain,
maybe my hope keeps me blindedly,
thinking that this is all just a nightmare,
and like the weather after a storm,
all the rain will be gone, and clear,
and gone these hurt feeling that were born,
if I was to say I felt no anguish,
that would be nothing, but a fable,
as for you I have been languish,
maybe one day we will be able,
things will not be this way,
but until then, I keep you in prayer,
each and every single day,
because I still, and will always care.

Amazing how life can be
Not knowing what to believe
Wars with in my self
Always feeling dead
Really could not understand
That's when the sun started
Having it's light shine
Amazingly in my heart
Now I am a happy bird
Knowing all will be OK
Yesterday's sorrow is gone
On to today's Joy
U are a blessing!

my heart is yours,
like the sun beats off my dreams,
by the grace of The Lord,
I will find you in me,
were my night sky fills day dreams,
and my mind floats across time and space,
wishing to feel your rays of light,
wonderfully beaming on my face,
my beautiful sands of faith,
have an aspiration of your water's taste
as I sit under the heaven's romanticising
that the seed of April,
lands among the Beauty of December,
and enjoy the fruits of your bliss.

Today Victor Is Happy

Dear my lovely readers,

right now, and these last few days I have been in a state of joy, I don't really know what it is that has made happy, but the feeling is one I wish I could have more. I don't even feel like writing poems revolving around my sorrow, but only ones that are of joy.


you know what is strange? love, because love is a mystery we will simply never understand, and when we think we do understand love, love does something mystifying that makes us realize love simply will never be understood, but when we have it we understand it is the most beautifulest feeling you can have!

if you are wondering why I wrote that, because I just watched you've got mail xD

you know what is hard, to forgive people when they have done something wrong against you, maybe you are wrong, and they are right, but this is not about that, but this is about how hard it is to forgive someone when you feel they did something against you, and I at times, find myself sometimes in situation like that, but I always forgive people no matter what. now maybe some fo you may think that is weak, or whatever, and are wondering why I would do that; well the reason is, because if GOD can forgive me, than I can forgive people, because it is him after all I want to be like even if that is imposable.


I am going to get going, I hope you all have a great rest of the week <3 I will leave you with some pics of my dogs, because they make me happy<3

I love you all deeply,
your friend,
VPK






>

on my shoulder. part 1

On my shoulder is Satan,
whispering things I should not hear,
leaving me empty in the darkness,
I wish to repent,
but I can't afford the offering,
when the collection plate comes around,
to buy my way into heaven,
so I am left alone,
with Beelzebub on my own....
shoulder....
he has made his home on my left,
manipulating my soul's long lasting death,
he has my religion convinced,
you can buy your way into...
GOD's house.....
tempting me to Crucify....
my faith...
my living days until I die,
Belial on my shoulder...
he sleeps....
sinking me deeper into desire
to wish I was never born,
like a thorn....
in my heart,
that pricks me until I bleed...
to death
Iblīs, the fallen jinn,
wickedly whispers....
in my ear, washing my soul...
with sin.
as he...
sits on my shoulder.

because it is 12:22 pm, and I have yet to go to bed

I never have time to sleep
my eye will not close,
I sleep with them open,
I am insomnia's child,
my thoughts are always awake,
I even have sleep paralysis,
to keep me in a state of slumber,
sleep happens so rarely,
like a comet from Halley,
I wish I could close my eyes,
and fall asleep on my bed,
but nope, I will stay awake
instead!

my sweet angel dove

my sweet angel dove,
your words are beloved,
by my ear bud,
like a sweet melody,
in flawless harmony,
with my heart's beat,
my eyes visualize,
the sweet taste of your voice,
made by the perfect ingredients,
you must have been Heaven sent,
crafted by the hands of bliss,
my lips dream of your lips,
the beautiful savour of their kiss,
like the beauty of a topaz,
in a garden of narcissus flowers,
give me the gift of your love,
my sweet angel dove!

here is a gun

Dear my readers,


I want you to do the following when life is not going to well, take a gun, and murder me, because maybe it will help you to forget about your problems, even if just for a short time, because I am willing to take your bullets if it means making you happy.

love, your friend,
VPK

p.s I did not mean to actually kill me, but I mean to take your problems out on me, because maybe it will make you feel better

My Grandfather's health

Dear my lovely readers,

so today I have received the news that my grandfather's health is not doing to good, as his heart is not looking to well. This comes after they said it looked good, but now I guess it is not. we are waiting for the cardiologist to see if it as bad as the doctor says, or not. my grandfather always falls, and has been in the hospital a few times after falling, so they do not want him to live alone,because of this, and because my grandmother is crippled, and her health has been on the decline, and they feel they should not. This year just keeps getting worse, and worse, and this by far has been one pf the worst year of my life I have lived, so far in my life.


please keep my family in your thoughts, and prayers, and I will do the same for you.

I love you all deeply
your friend,
VPK

silent assassin

how corruptive were the words,
of the written literature,
designed to break hearts
leaving minds shattered,
each word was like a bullet,
from the author's gun,,
each sentence was a death stroke,
that cracked the egg, leaking the yoke,
your words are subliminal,
equivalent to a criminal,
slanging peace to the open
public, working behind closed doors,
deceitfully organizing quite wars,
using deadly silent weaponry,
disguised by calligraphy.
to hide your wicked identity.

Father! take me from this waste
give me your cup of wine to taste
so my dry mouth can become moist
like my cheeks when I cry
take me into your arms
like a mother hugging an infant
forgive me for my amiss
Father! let me live bliss

Father! free from this place
break these chains holding me in waste
wipe these tears from my face
let me rest my head in Eden
like ears rest are in peace
when the voice of angels sing
correct me of my error
Father! let me live free of this terror

Father! please take me to your home
give liquid to my dry bones
clear mt soul of its death
breath into my lungs your breath
cleanse me of all my sin
Father! let me live again

short one

I want to make peace,
in my own head at least,
with those that are my opposition,
that is my new ambition,
to put our difference to an end
and for us to love, and be friends!

The difference between a hero and a villain

I am sitting here on this fine morning, and I asked myself, what is the difference between a hero and a villain? As I sit here, and wonder about this, my mind has become pregnant, and a thought was born, and that birthed thought was the answer I have come up with.

First of all, let's look at the "war" hero/villain role, because the fact of the matter is the only difference between a war hero, and a person who would be considered the villain is what ever side you want to win is the hero, and what ever side you want to lose is the villain.

To continue, let us look at a classic hero, Robin Hood, because most everyone knows the story of robin hood, but in case you some how do not know, and need a quick back story I shall tell you it: robin hood was a man that robed from the rich to give to the poor, so clearly he is a hero, because we all know the poor can use a break right, however on the other hand robin hood put the poor in danger, and the money he stole from the rich was what might have been used to build schools, hospitals, and so on, (before you say the might not have had that in those days, just go along as if they did) so he would be both a hero, and a villain, and I am pretty sure both the poor, and rich saw him as both.

pursuing this further, let's look at one last example. A man has a heart attack, and is saved by cpr by another person, however the man that had a heart attack is an axe murder, whom will might kill again, now is the person who saved him a hero for saving a life, or by allowing some that is a murder, and will do so again, a villain? TO the person he saved he is a hero, and maybe the murder will never kill again, because he was given another chance at life, so that person has saved lives, however on the contrary to the family, and friends of the people he killed the person that saved his life would be a villain for allowing him to live while their loved one is dead.

in final analysis, looking at the question; what is the difference between a hero, and a villain, it is easy to see that it all breaks down to a matter of opinion simply, because what is a hero to one person is a villain to another, and this is not just the examples I used, but this can be used for all most ever situation in life, besides crimes such as rape, and there is no true difference between the two, rather just how you as an individual looks at if someone is a hero, or a villain, and you will always, for the most part, see what is good in your eyes to be good, and what is bad to be bad.

idfk

I can write all this poetry;
but not a soul will listen;
to my words, that are written;
so the meaning goes empty;
and my mind is driven deeper;
into the arms of the crypt keeper;
it does not matter how many times;
I tell people what's wrong;
they are deaf to my words;
some even pretend that they care;
but that is just fiction;
all I want is for someone to listen;
and not leave me feeling it was a waste;
to tell them all this poem;
your eyes have just read!

yes, now I can see,
the entire chain reaction,
like a show on the television,
all the birds of the flock,
eat the bread crumbs,
from your filthy hands,
feeding off your poison,
becoming the living dead,
you are like the hero,
that people celebrate,
who is a murderer,
behind closed gates.
now the question becomes,
when will you turn your gun,
on these lovely birds?
and leave your bullets,
inside each of them.

puppet master

out of your neck is strings,
that hook up to a set of hands,
you move as they swing,
living by their commends,

you say, not me, I am free,
but the reality is actually,
your a tract, part of an act,
living by what they say, each and ever day,

do not think you are alone,
no one really thinks on their own,
but in some way, shape or form,
everyone is a puppet, it's the norm,

your wants, and needs, your greeds,
your goal, even what drives your soul,
is linked to the strand, held by the hand,
of the puppeteer, so I hope it is clear,

no one is free,
not you, nor me,
so open your eyes,
to the I'm free lies,

Heaven and Hell on earth

Dear my lovely readers,

I am sitting here, and thinking, and I realized what Heaven, nirvana, eden, shangri-la, etc etc, really is. Heaven is simply a freedom, a freedom from all the things in life we wish did not exist, war, crime, hate, sickness, famine, etc. Think about if the earth had those, we live in bliss, but since the earth will always have those the term heaven on earth is in reality not existent, therefore peace in life is not 100% attainable, and we should just try to make life as peaceful as possible,


and

since there is ways to make peace at least some what attainable, hell on earth is also non existent, because unlike heaven which is free from all the things mentioned above, hell is nothing but those things, but with out any type of peace, so maybe you are like well life is hell, and for the most part that is true, but the difference is hell on earth allows the light of a kind of peace to shine, but hell simply is just darkness.

That is also the bases for most Religions, to give people the feeling that them trying to be peaceful, and good (by the definition of either their religion, the people around them, or another way of thinking) in a world that simply is built not to be good, and is more like hell than heaven, they will be rewarded, and they shall live in an after life in paradise.

that is all for now,
thank you for your time,

I love you all like daisies love the rain,
your friend
VPK

randomness

Dear my lovely readers,

so my time sleeping pattern has become messed up, and I have been falling asleep at like 10, or 11 and waking up at between 1-and 3 in the A.M


while I was sleeping tonight I had a few weird dreams. In my dream I was laying on my bed, and then my mouth opened, and out of my mouth came myself. I have no idea
what this means, but it was weird. I then woke up, and had a random one about eating chapstick which is weird, because I use to eat chapstick when I was a young Vic, because the olders told me you could eat it, but I did not know they were joking xD


it has been raining a lot today, and when it is raining out and there is lighting and thunder it is one of my favorite things to listen to, and for no reason really. The world of the dead must be over crowed I mean think about all the people who have died since there came to be the human being.

Today, well yesterday I watched the movie friends with benefits, and it was a good film, comedy wish it was about an 8 out 10, The actor/actress get a 8.3 (I have to say Justin is a decent actor, I enjoyed this and bad teacher, maybe I will watch the facebook movie later) the plot was a 7.7, so I guess the film was about an 8

speaking of watching things, I have been watching the show the Big Bang Theory, and this show is epic funny, and now I watch it everyday as part of my daily routine, which I don't have, unless you count watching the big bang theory, and taking insulin, and the things you do everyday like showering, and eating xD

don't know the point of any of this non sense, but yeah I am sure there is one, and I am sure in time I will see what it was, but right now my thoughts are just all over the world, so I will leave you with that. I hope all your lives stay positive, and you stay happy, and if you are not happy I hope you become happy

I love you all deeply,
your friend
VPK


P.s twizzlers are amazing, but it has to be pull and peel in order for it to be the best

I have learned

that everything is just

here I am,
in my dark mind,
existing in a world,
of dead dreams,
everything is looking
so lovely, and gleam,
but the dark eclipses,
all that is seen,
and the grim reapers,
whispers in my ears,
come victor,
has it not become clear?
you want me, my dear,
but even in this dark,
you can't have my love,
your time is not now,
the earth is not ready,
for the return of your blood,
so,you, will either,
find peace, or die,
while you live

never lay me down,
in some flower bed
but rather leave me,
to die here instead
everything that I know,
all seems delusive
and the reasons I live,
are only excuses,
of the scars,
that were cut too deep,
into my soul,
I only want to,
be among those,
that don't live,
the ones called, dead,
were I can be accepted,
I want to be the children,
of the flies first meal,
I want to exist at the point,
were this body is worthless,
and kept prisoner under
the earth's surface,
and I am nothing more
than a soul, that roams
the earth, in peace.

Beautiful Rays of Light

your beautiful rays of light,
stand so bright and illuminants,
the dark sky of my spirit's,
most painful nights grief,
brighter than the goddess Venus,
and the light of Sirius,
your eyes are as radiant,
as the shine of sunlight,
your smile, so dazzling,
its allure is never obscure,
the mighty beauty of Anwar,
shines so breath taking,
like the stars of heaven's,
everlasting light <3

The Ugly Truth

No Matter Who You Are, No Matter What You think, We Are All A




Puppet
in some way, shape or form

And you're only fooling your self when you say you're not

enemies of the same blood

my mind you poisoned,
making me want death,
what is the meaning?
to this pointless feud,

I sat, and watched,
you use the dagger,
stabbing each others backs,
until you pitifully stagger,

never blaming yourself,
and seeing the wrong,
of your nonsense stupidity,
I am trying to be validity,
to show you this insanity,

you are not of the same feather
but you do have giant egos.
and you are not willing,
to chop your wings,

instead, you rather it die,
not even willing to try,
not even close to a family,
just enemies of the same blood

Your Glory Is Bliss!

"I'll keep on tryin' till my day is done"

My mind goes through a personal
inferno, as if I am already in hell's
dark eternal burning furnace,
making me feel lost and worthless,
but the word lifts me out of the flame,
and my mind set changes with a new aim,
as it was written in scripture,
I now have a clear pitcher,
that is painted in mentally,
that all this hard work will eventually,
pay off, and you shall lift my soul,
out of this dark sorrowful,
black hole, with your mighty hands,
and take me out of the strands,
of this negative pit,
and all this pain I will forget,
as you are what get',
me though the pollution,
all the days of my life's story,
hoping to live in your glory,
even past my life's conclusion♥


this is an epigraph of the song below, which is my favourite one of the year



I am trying to improve on writing epigraphs, which I never write, so please give feedback:)

beautiful peach

so beautiful is the peach,
with a taste so unique,
my mouth dreams of the sensational
taste, the sweet fruit dances
on my lips, so splendid,
I close my eyes as my tongue
experiences a love so resplendent,
the juices so pleasant,
I swallow its magnificent
wonder, as each bite is
like a glorious pleasure,
of the beautiful peach!

I hear the whispers,
of the on coming wind,
through my facial whiskers,
trying to create a bind,
but one I can nit find,
so I keep on walking,
past the point of blisters,
stoping once in a while talking,
to the passers passing by,
who want to have a talk with I,
we look ar one another,
and say we are differ from each other,
but maybe you are a little like me,
or is it I am a lot like you?
either way it is not hard to see,
we are the same it's true.

Tiger Style

they are the true king,
of the mighty jungle,
striking fear in everything,
making all animals crumble,
with a mighty roar,
they makes the birds soar,
away hoping not to become a meal,
pouncing on the unsuspecting veal,
the orange stripped Lords of the wilderness,
the top cats today that exist,
they are the mighty panthera Tigris!

if only, I could fit into the puzzle
but, I am just a different piece,
stuck in the long dark tunnel,
trying, to find my inner peace

but I lose my mind in the struggle
and, I no longer have the will necessary
to continue, to carry,
on. much longer,
hoping, I could be stronger,

I dream, I was like the masses,
but, my mind is of different classes,
and, I just can't, conform,
to be like, other people,
even if I try to transform,
I can't solve life's riddle

I love, being dissimilar
but, I wish, more happiness, occur
but, that is, life's narrative
and joy, is not consecutive

I still don't know

a meteor shower from the outer distance,
became the event, that caused existence,
shot through space like a gamma ray burst,
they exploded like a mighty volcano
entering the dark space first,
of the depths of the black hole,
all losing the path becoming deceased,
but one picked up speed and increased,
until it finally reached the solid ground,
digging it's way around,
and deep into the crust,
creating a new world of cosmic dust,
of the mighty planet earth,
and from that came birth!

idk

life can change like a season,
and
everything happens for a reason,
but,
some we just never realize,
so
we are never able to visualize,
any,
way to escape from this prison,
wishing
for the moments that were written,
to
return, that we have kept
inside
of our hearts, except,
they
happened a time ago,
so
now we must sew,
our
soul back together,
because
broken hearts are just,
the
rain of the weather,
we
must learn to adjust
cause
heart break that is ugly
shall
go away to days that are sunny
making
us happy with glee,
thus
we shall be happy as one should be!

maybe it was only for a glimpse,
but the dream of you was so aesthetic,
like seeing the stars sit among luna,
you ease my mind like a daydream,
putting my mind at peace even during,
the most hurtful of hurtful evenings,
you have me relaxed and stargazing,
about the wonders of the fondness,
of your love and your bosom,*
until the moment arrives,
were all time stops, and we osculate,
until I open my eyes and waken,
and wait for my aspiration,
of another beautiful woolgathering,
of having your passionateness,





*the security and intimacy of or like that of being hugged

snowfall

The winter snowflakes fall
from the night sky's horizon
gently floating through the atmosphere
until it reaches the land below

The children run outside
to play in its wonder
having wars of snowball battles
were even the losers leave grinning

others build men of the snowfall
giving life to the frozen water
bringing joy to those looking on
A smile is the gift on their face

the snow bring such pleasure
until the spring returns
and melts it away
thus beginning a new spring day

do you see what I did?

Life is beauty

And ugly is

Death, true, false

Both always? Sometimes?

Exist? No yes

yes! sir! indeed!

it does not matter,
if we have drifted apart
like the lands split
by a mighty river.

your sorrow makes me shiver
with the coldness
of seeing you hurt
wishing the warmth
of joy would come in
your life,

and the path
of rejoice brings a smile
to your face, and all
the hardship that has made,
your ship

feel like it's sinking,
rises above these troubling waters,
and you will dance,
happily, because happiness
has returned in your way.

so not matter how
far apart we have become
I hope the lilies of life
grow beautifully for you!

I should title these

seeing an old pitcher,
has made me realize,
that what now lies,
between me and my dream,

is an overwhelming scene,
that plays in my mind,
like a song stuck on repeat,
making me feel obsolete,

as the winds of time,
blow away my fragile
mind, and the leftover
dust that remains,
forms a new life,

made of my thoughts,
and I translate them,
from my mind into,
the pen, and from the pen,
onto the sheet of paper,

then like water they vaporise,
into a cloud, that rains,
my thoughts for your eyes,
to see, like a film you watch.
or a book that you read,

that is never to clear,
but the plot is sometimes,
understood, but never,
makes sense, but only,
to the author of the script.

and those who read,
the writings he writes,
interprets them different,
like the author intends!

Happy Halloween:)

Dear my lovely readers,

Greetings, I hope everything is doing swell, as you are all in my thoughts, and prayers. tomorrow/today is Halloween, and I always liked Halloween, because I like to see what people will dress up as, and the way some people decorate their houses, I remember my mum's husnabd use to decorate our house, before he got sick, and well since he passed away he obviously did not this year, but this was from a few years ago





I wish we would have done the hunted house thing on the inside too. That would have been cool:)


recently on tumblr I been doing a 20 day challenge thing, and it is a 30 day poetry challenge, and I have to say it has taught me I need to improve on my poetry, and it also has made me try new forms of poetry, and I feel I have got better, oh in case you followed me on tumblr, you should know that I lost my old tumblr account, because I forgot my password, because my passwords are always things that make no sense, and I forgot what it was, and I did not use the e-mail address, so I forgot that password, and did not know my question, so I had to make a new one xD I have since then got back into my e-mail address, but got rid of the old tumblt, and kept the new one. add me on the new one:) http://insomnivic.tumblr.com/


I have decided to switch my psychologist, because I felt as if no progress was being made, and all she did was put me on more, and more meds, like I would go see her, she ask how I was, I say the same as I been before (that being depressed) and she say, well OK I am going to put you on these meds now, and it's like wtf why don't you ask me why I am sad, and stuff instead of just sending me on my way, I mean it is your facking job after all. another reason why I am switching is because some of the people that wokr there openly talked about the clients that went there, and for one the psychologist and therapist are not suppose to talk about the patients with the people that work at the desk, and I don't mean in a way were they tell them so, and so cancelled their appointment, but in a way were they tell them what they talked about.

that made me wonder if they were doing the same with me, and being that I have a hard time going there, and trust people to were I can talk to them about certain things, it made me uncomfortable, so a switch was in the cards.

Today, the Vikings won:) and I don't get to say that much any more, but ever since ponder was named the starting QB, it feels like we have a better chance in these games vs when mccrab was are QB sundays felt like a punch in the face by the Big Show.

that is all for now,

I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers, because no matter if you are a friend, or not, my love is like a river that never ends:)

I love you all deeply,
your friend,
VPK

victor sat in his bedroom
in the darkness of the night
lying on his bed
when a thought was born in his head
as he looked over at the metal cabinet
it has never been opened
by any person from his home
so he jumped up in a flash
nearly falling over the toys
left on the floor
and raced over to be the first,
because he was weird like that
and when he opened the door
he was shocked by what he saw
a ghost of a girl came flotting out
she was only seeable for about 5 seconds
then poof she was gone,
and this was the first ghost
he had ever saw
thus, from that point
he knew ghost existed.

(another one from the tumblr challenge, hated this one)

A metaphor about writing

my dishes set and soak;
in the water of the sink;
using the dish soap;
to clear away the dirt;
until they are clean;
and they become ready;
to be used to eat off;
but still no matter;
how clean these dishes;
may be in the eyes of others;
I myself will always feel;
they could be more clean;
so back to my sink;
these dishes return;
ready for more water!

in life at times it is hard to see,
but now I see everything is my fault,
that everything between us went wrong,
I wish I could resing our song,
but those days have come,
and are now in the past and gone,
and are only that of a memory,
of a time I will always cherish,
and this I want you to know,
from my heart, I apologize.

there is nothing I can say in any which way

today or tomorrow that describes my sorrow

nothing I can write to give you any insight

of what is on my mind, nor can I find

the proper wording non are occurring

so I keep them to myself and hidden like a stealth

so I instead keep them in my head

and they will stay there until I'm dead, never to be said


(from the tumblr challenge)

when I close my eye sockets

my mind goes into a world of lucid

dreams, and takes of like rockets

into outer space, were I'm suited

to explore the wonders of new galaxies

reaching the outer limits of thought

causing me to create new strategies

that make my mind unable to be caught

by the speed of light, or the speed

in which space expands, causing me to awake

and to burn these thoughts into paper like weed

like "Bob was baked like a fucking cake"*

and from the thoughts of my mind with in

a new writing of poetry to begin





*from the book perks of being a wall flower

The firing flames from your felt-tip pen

Burns so brilliantly into the paper

It causes souls to fall into a trance

Like the words of a song puts the mind

Into a deep freeze, and your fingerprints

Would be on the master piece like

Graffiti is written on the passing train

From artist that have no name

But who’s work is a world wonder

Like the Taj Mahal driving your name

To be praised, and you to become

Immortal with each stroke of the pen

As each line gives birth to a new light,

A new dark, and a new story

That never ends but lives

Forever

Another one from the tumblr challenge

The bright light of our love

is now one that is dimming

these feeling are hard to let go of

as I am both suffering and swimming

trying to rekindle the flame

that we once had that burned

but things are not the same

and you’re not even concerned

as things between us are dissolved

now our love is in a state of black

and you are not free of being absolved

and when you want me I won’t be running back

because you were nothing but a mistaken faze

and I am free of your iniquity

and a new light is ablaze

and I have achieved a new sovereignty!

from the tumblr challage that had to be a poem kids would like


Kim was an ant that

lived the suite life

in the state of hannah montana

were the day would be so random

because the a.n.t farm would

shake it up with weather

reports that lied, saying

it would be sonny with a

chance, but she still felt

Victorious and never

fell for the Fish Hooks

thrown by spongebob, whom

got goofy with a rat

that cooked Ratatouille, people

called them the rugrats,

but kim was too smart

and was all grown up

and would not let

her life get Tangled

up and raced cars

and got a Big time Rush

and that is a bug’s life