Dear my lovely readers,
I don't know where my mind is, but I know this, it is in a state of sorrow, and I feel broken, even though it was never in a state to call it fixed to even be broken. I sit, and stare at the clock, and wait for tomorrow, and Lord knows I hope for a good day since I can use one. I hate being sad, and feeling empty as if there is no one to turn to, so I just keep everything inside, and it is like a small tare at first it is small, and no big deal. but over time it grows, and grows until it is a a gaping hole. and happiness seeps out of it like death in a grave, leaving nothing but sorrow to conquer what is left of me. A problem I am having is I don't want to talk about this with anyone these days, not my psychologist, my friends, my family no one, and I wish it was not like this.
This month has been wack, please let October be a good one
thank you to those who read this
I love you all deeply
your friend,
vpk
Friday, September 30, 2011
Dear my lovely readers,
I don't know where my mind is, but I know this, it is in a state of sorrow, and I feel broken, even though it was never in a state to call it fixed to even be broken. I sit, and stare at the clock, and wait for tomorrow, and Lord knows I hope for a good day since I can use one. I hate being sad, and feeling empty as if there is no one to turn to, so I just keep everything inside, and it is like a small tare at first it is small, and no big deal. but over time it grows, and grows until it is a a gaping hole. and happiness seeps out of it like death in a grave, leaving nothing but sorrow to conquer what is left of me. A problem I am having is I don't want to talk about this with anyone these days, not my psychologist, my friends, my family no one, and I wish it was not like this.
This month has been wack, please let October be a good one
thank you to those who read this
I love you all deeply
your friend,
vpk
I don't know where my mind is, but I know this, it is in a state of sorrow, and I feel broken, even though it was never in a state to call it fixed to even be broken. I sit, and stare at the clock, and wait for tomorrow, and Lord knows I hope for a good day since I can use one. I hate being sad, and feeling empty as if there is no one to turn to, so I just keep everything inside, and it is like a small tare at first it is small, and no big deal. but over time it grows, and grows until it is a a gaping hole. and happiness seeps out of it like death in a grave, leaving nothing but sorrow to conquer what is left of me. A problem I am having is I don't want to talk about this with anyone these days, not my psychologist, my friends, my family no one, and I wish it was not like this.
This month has been wack, please let October be a good one
thank you to those who read this
I love you all deeply
your friend,
vpk
Thursday, September 29, 2011
The wind
it has me blown over,
like the wind,
falling for every word,
like her for him,
closing my eyes,
what do I see,
as I open them up,
living in this reality,
the world sees me,
but does not recognize,
because I have been hiding,
in a disguise,
now this question,
myself I begin to ask,
when will I take,
off this mask?
that I wear
to hide every tear
that I shed.
Because,
reality is never
what is seems,
but sometimes the
threads of life,
tears apart from the seams,
and I need to take the needle,
and work on my sorrowed soul,
I hate the wind, blowing by,
life is a low,
life is a high,
but nothing is new,
under the sun,
and everything changes,
for a reason,
but that is life,
the way of the season,
winter, spring, summer fall,
we live in it all,
but that is just the weather,
and things that are bad,
will always get better,
bless me o'Lord,
be my protector,
my shield, my sword.,
heal my broken soul,
as only you can,
and get me throw.
anything that,
blows from the wind
like the wind,
falling for every word,
like her for him,
closing my eyes,
what do I see,
as I open them up,
living in this reality,
the world sees me,
but does not recognize,
because I have been hiding,
in a disguise,
now this question,
myself I begin to ask,
when will I take,
off this mask?
that I wear
to hide every tear
that I shed.
Because,
reality is never
what is seems,
but sometimes the
threads of life,
tears apart from the seams,
and I need to take the needle,
and work on my sorrowed soul,
I hate the wind, blowing by,
life is a low,
life is a high,
but nothing is new,
under the sun,
and everything changes,
for a reason,
but that is life,
the way of the season,
winter, spring, summer fall,
we live in it all,
but that is just the weather,
and things that are bad,
will always get better,
bless me o'Lord,
be my protector,
my shield, my sword.,
heal my broken soul,
as only you can,
and get me throw.
anything that,
blows from the wind
why
Dear my lovely readers,
why do people worry so much about what other people do in their lives? OK now some might see this, and say "well I worry about my friend, because he has a gambling problem" and I understand that, but people are fast to point out the wrong of others, but never their own faults, in the Bible, it is written that Jesus, the greatest philosopher ever, said "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" and that is what we do, we sit there, and say "wow this person is dumb" but then we do dumb things ourselves. we sit, and point out all the wrongs of others, but we ignore all those same wrongs we have. I am not saying we have to like, and accept everything everyone does, but remember to see your own wrongs before you point the finger, we all do it, and we all need to stop, and do the following, love one another, love is the best building block to peace.
that is all for now,
love, your friend
VPK
why do people worry so much about what other people do in their lives? OK now some might see this, and say "well I worry about my friend, because he has a gambling problem" and I understand that, but people are fast to point out the wrong of others, but never their own faults, in the Bible, it is written that Jesus, the greatest philosopher ever, said "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" and that is what we do, we sit there, and say "wow this person is dumb" but then we do dumb things ourselves. we sit, and point out all the wrongs of others, but we ignore all those same wrongs we have. I am not saying we have to like, and accept everything everyone does, but remember to see your own wrongs before you point the finger, we all do it, and we all need to stop, and do the following, love one another, love is the best building block to peace.
that is all for now,
love, your friend
VPK
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
night timeness
I ask myself this
do I really exist?
I go outside, and stare
at the moon to make it clear
as my mind floats to my demise
my soul echoes the cries
of a person that never dies
but never was born
I am nothing but cells
in this heaven and hell
in between reality and fiction
I am guilty in my conviction
but I stand innocent
both in the eyes
between your truth and lies
lies my truth
see me with any sight
because you are wrong
and you are right
all is different
all is the same
do I really exist?
I go outside, and stare
at the moon to make it clear
as my mind floats to my demise
my soul echoes the cries
of a person that never dies
but never was born
I am nothing but cells
in this heaven and hell
in between reality and fiction
I am guilty in my conviction
but I stand innocent
both in the eyes
between your truth and lies
lies my truth
see me with any sight
because you are wrong
and you are right
all is different
all is the same
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
learning to grow
Dear my lovely readers,
one thing that comes in life, is the growing stage, now I don't mean growing as in height, or age, but in life, and it is something you have to learn to do, a person who takes drugs, and is an addict has to learn how to grow away from those drugs, a person that broke up with someone has to learn how to grow away from that person,etc, but none of that comes easy, and learning is something you have to put effort into. learning its self is growing, you start of like a seed, and the more you learn, the more you grow.
learning to grow, makes you grow as a person, and how you chose to grow, determines if it is for the better, sometimes when you are growing in a negative way, the best thing to do is to chop that tree down, and learn to grow in another way, and doing that is also a method of growing. grow for the better, not for the worse
love,
your friend,
VPK
one thing that comes in life, is the growing stage, now I don't mean growing as in height, or age, but in life, and it is something you have to learn to do, a person who takes drugs, and is an addict has to learn how to grow away from those drugs, a person that broke up with someone has to learn how to grow away from that person,etc, but none of that comes easy, and learning is something you have to put effort into. learning its self is growing, you start of like a seed, and the more you learn, the more you grow.
learning to grow, makes you grow as a person, and how you chose to grow, determines if it is for the better, sometimes when you are growing in a negative way, the best thing to do is to chop that tree down, and learn to grow in another way, and doing that is also a method of growing. grow for the better, not for the worse
love,
your friend,
VPK
Monday, September 26, 2011
bored I guess
my poor eyes bleed
in this world of need
we only see the want
controlled by the tyrant
if only I could see
life would simply
be a piece of cake
but instead it's a wake
some make it sweet candy
by hitting the bottle of brandy
life is sadly ugly
with all this hurt among me
yet I find its beauty
and people are truly
spectacular<3
in this world of need
we only see the want
controlled by the tyrant
if only I could see
life would simply
be a piece of cake
but instead it's a wake
some make it sweet candy
by hitting the bottle of brandy
life is sadly ugly
with all this hurt among me
yet I find its beauty
and people are truly
spectacular<3
Today's Visit
Dear my lovely readers,
Today, I had another appointment with my psychologist, and therapist, but not much was talked about, because I have gone back into the mode were I don't feel like talking to anyone about things like this, because I am back to feeling as if I really can't trust anyone to talk to them. so this is going to be hard again, when she kept asking me what was wrong, I simply said I was tired, because I did not feel like talking to her, it was the same with the therapist. Honestly I think I am going to go back to when I use to hide everything from everyone, and fool the world into thinking I am OK.
She did give me sleeping pills, and told me to take one at night, because they want to monitor my sleeping pattern, and I did find out they can't do guitar classes yet, which is epic wack. all in all just seemed like a waste of time to even go today.
I hope I find it in me to talk openly with them again, but I think it is going to take some time, if I even want to open up to them.
that is all for now,
thank you for reading this,
love, your friend,
VPK
Today, I had another appointment with my psychologist, and therapist, but not much was talked about, because I have gone back into the mode were I don't feel like talking to anyone about things like this, because I am back to feeling as if I really can't trust anyone to talk to them. so this is going to be hard again, when she kept asking me what was wrong, I simply said I was tired, because I did not feel like talking to her, it was the same with the therapist. Honestly I think I am going to go back to when I use to hide everything from everyone, and fool the world into thinking I am OK.
She did give me sleeping pills, and told me to take one at night, because they want to monitor my sleeping pattern, and I did find out they can't do guitar classes yet, which is epic wack. all in all just seemed like a waste of time to even go today.
I hope I find it in me to talk openly with them again, but I think it is going to take some time, if I even want to open up to them.
that is all for now,
thank you for reading this,
love, your friend,
VPK
Saturday, September 24, 2011
The Never Ending Journey
Dear my lovely readers,
it is a beautiful day, here on the east of the United States, and my mind is at peace. The life of a caring person is a struggling one, and the journey knows no days off, think of it as the story of Sisyphus (for those who might not know whom he is, he is a person who is cursed with trying to roll a giant boulder up a mountain only to watch it fall back down) that is how caring is in life, you roll a boulder up a hill, only to see it roll back down, however the difference is the boulder at times rolls back on you, causing emotional pain. life would be easier to not be a caring person, since you would not have to push the boulder, and worry about when will it fall back on me, but choosing to be caring is a beautiful thing, and it is something we all should have, and you never no how you caring about someone might effect them, perhaps there is that one person that feels no one cares, but you do, and that saves their life one day, and that alone is worth every step of the never ending journey.
I love you all deeply,
your friend,
VPK
it is a beautiful day, here on the east of the United States, and my mind is at peace. The life of a caring person is a struggling one, and the journey knows no days off, think of it as the story of Sisyphus (for those who might not know whom he is, he is a person who is cursed with trying to roll a giant boulder up a mountain only to watch it fall back down) that is how caring is in life, you roll a boulder up a hill, only to see it roll back down, however the difference is the boulder at times rolls back on you, causing emotional pain. life would be easier to not be a caring person, since you would not have to push the boulder, and worry about when will it fall back on me, but choosing to be caring is a beautiful thing, and it is something we all should have, and you never no how you caring about someone might effect them, perhaps there is that one person that feels no one cares, but you do, and that saves their life one day, and that alone is worth every step of the never ending journey.
I love you all deeply,
your friend,
VPK
56, and other things
Dear my lovely readers,
so today is an anniversary in my family:) my grandparents have now been married for 56 years, the two love birds are still going strong in their 90's, and they are great, and with out one, the other simply would not be, it is fun to spend time with them, if you were to be at their house for an just an hour you would think you were in a comedy, because they stuff they say to each other, but in a way I think, because they are the opposite in many ways, I think that has helped their marriage work. love them so much <3
if you read, or watch the news, you might have seen how CERN may have found subatomic particles, called neutrinos that travel faster than the speed of light, now there are people who belive this not to be true, and CERN wants others to test to see if it is, because well if it is, the whole special theory of relativity would have to be looked at again, since it says nothing is faster than the speed of light. now maybe some of you may have seen on twitter how I said the speed of light is not faster than the speed of the universe expanding, what I mean by that is the universe grows everyday, and it has since the dawn of time, and it grows, so much, and fast the speed of light is not fast enough to reach its end, in fact all the galaxies we can see, are moving faster away from us than the speed of light, and soon won;t even be visible to use (by soon I don't mean in our life time, for the most part).
speaking of which they say in order for time travel to exist we would have to go faster than the speed of light, and now I wonder does the past exist? now I know it does, because we all lived it, but what I mean is, do the events that happened in the past happen everyday on that day for all of time, kind of like as if a DVD, on a scene on repeat, or is there no past to go to. because it Simpy does not exist in the sense of it happens everyday?
that is all for now,
I hope you all have a great weekend,
love, your friend
VPK
so today is an anniversary in my family:) my grandparents have now been married for 56 years, the two love birds are still going strong in their 90's, and they are great, and with out one, the other simply would not be, it is fun to spend time with them, if you were to be at their house for an just an hour you would think you were in a comedy, because they stuff they say to each other, but in a way I think, because they are the opposite in many ways, I think that has helped their marriage work. love them so much <3
if you read, or watch the news, you might have seen how CERN may have found subatomic particles, called neutrinos that travel faster than the speed of light, now there are people who belive this not to be true, and CERN wants others to test to see if it is, because well if it is, the whole special theory of relativity would have to be looked at again, since it says nothing is faster than the speed of light. now maybe some of you may have seen on twitter how I said the speed of light is not faster than the speed of the universe expanding, what I mean by that is the universe grows everyday, and it has since the dawn of time, and it grows, so much, and fast the speed of light is not fast enough to reach its end, in fact all the galaxies we can see, are moving faster away from us than the speed of light, and soon won;t even be visible to use (by soon I don't mean in our life time, for the most part).
speaking of which they say in order for time travel to exist we would have to go faster than the speed of light, and now I wonder does the past exist? now I know it does, because we all lived it, but what I mean is, do the events that happened in the past happen everyday on that day for all of time, kind of like as if a DVD, on a scene on repeat, or is there no past to go to. because it Simpy does not exist in the sense of it happens everyday?
that is all for now,
I hope you all have a great weekend,
love, your friend
VPK
Friday, September 23, 2011
the year is all most over!
Dear my lovely readers,
it is late, as I have started to write this, as the sky has fallen into darkness, and the only light outside comes from the street lights, and the moon. with September coming to a close in about a week from today, and there only being three months left in this year, I have to say I can not wait for this year to end, and 2012 to start. this year has not been a good one for me, nut maybe it has not been bad, but I can only think of the things that have happened that were bad, because they out weigh the good things. with that said, I wish I could do this year over, I do so many things different.
with that being said, I can try to make these last 3 months good, or at least ok, I been doing a lot of thinking, a lot more than I usually do, now maybe someone of you who read this, are wondering "how do you have time to think, when your on-line a lot" well thinking is something you do all the time, even when we don't realize it, but any how, I been thinking about the words I wish I could say, but can't, but I will in a later date from now, and about what is to come for me.
I have a lot more I want to say, and talk about, but my mind can't focus right now,
so, that is all for now,
love, your friend
vpk
it is late, as I have started to write this, as the sky has fallen into darkness, and the only light outside comes from the street lights, and the moon. with September coming to a close in about a week from today, and there only being three months left in this year, I have to say I can not wait for this year to end, and 2012 to start. this year has not been a good one for me, nut maybe it has not been bad, but I can only think of the things that have happened that were bad, because they out weigh the good things. with that said, I wish I could do this year over, I do so many things different.
with that being said, I can try to make these last 3 months good, or at least ok, I been doing a lot of thinking, a lot more than I usually do, now maybe someone of you who read this, are wondering "how do you have time to think, when your on-line a lot" well thinking is something you do all the time, even when we don't realize it, but any how, I been thinking about the words I wish I could say, but can't, but I will in a later date from now, and about what is to come for me.
I have a lot more I want to say, and talk about, but my mind can't focus right now,
so, that is all for now,
love, your friend
vpk
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Honesty
is a very beautiful thing, I rather have someone be honest with me, and tell the truth, and be hurt by it, than be told a lie, and later find out the truth, because that hurts a lot more. when you build a house based on lies, it will fall, and the people that are hurt by it are the ones who are lied to, and they suffer the most :(
I used to think
it was the one person, and maybe some how it still is, but seeing how that seems impossible, I now wonder if it was the other person all along, but maybe it has been none of them, but a different person this whole time. hmmm
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
I should be sleeping
Dear my lovely readers,
the world is nothing more than a small thing in a solar system, and people, things and minds change, and one thing I have learned in this journey of life at a young age is, people, family, friends they will come in, and out of your life, But The Lord will Never leave you. one thing I will always do is care about people, even if those people hate me, because that is just the kind of person I am. is this a flaw? no it is not, but many people might ask me how it is not, and to you I say, I rather care about people than hate them, because my time is not to be wasted hating someone. do I get angry? yes, everyone does, it is a part of being a human, for example I hate when someone calls me stupid, or dumb, because when you have a learning disability you already have to fight the stereotype that you are dumb, and it gets me more upset when it is a friend who knows that offends me, says those things, but do I stay angry? no, because I am very forgiving, and I will let the love I have abolish the anger.
speaking of being smart, I think being smart depends on what one thinks being smart is, Albert Einstein, a person whom is considered one of the smartest people of all time, once said “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” and that is very true, for everyone, if you give me a test in the field of maths, or a spelling test, or read anything I write, and see how poor my grammar is, I am in fact dumb, but that would not be the case in other things of the world. it's just the things I am dumb at are shown more, because it is spelling, and grammar, but part of that is my fault, and I have improved a lot in those fields.
I think I'm just different from most people, and I use to wish I was not, but now I see the beauty in being a piece that rather than fitting into the puzzle, is a puzzle all of its own, I will leave you with this,
it is easy to love your friends, but the hard thing is to love your enemies, but as hard as that might be, having compassion for them is a quality of a beautiful heart, because remember their life might be worse off than yours, and they might need the love, and prayers.
may The Holy Most High Bless you as many times as there are stars in the night sky,
love, your friend,
VPK
the world is nothing more than a small thing in a solar system, and people, things and minds change, and one thing I have learned in this journey of life at a young age is, people, family, friends they will come in, and out of your life, But The Lord will Never leave you. one thing I will always do is care about people, even if those people hate me, because that is just the kind of person I am. is this a flaw? no it is not, but many people might ask me how it is not, and to you I say, I rather care about people than hate them, because my time is not to be wasted hating someone. do I get angry? yes, everyone does, it is a part of being a human, for example I hate when someone calls me stupid, or dumb, because when you have a learning disability you already have to fight the stereotype that you are dumb, and it gets me more upset when it is a friend who knows that offends me, says those things, but do I stay angry? no, because I am very forgiving, and I will let the love I have abolish the anger.
speaking of being smart, I think being smart depends on what one thinks being smart is, Albert Einstein, a person whom is considered one of the smartest people of all time, once said “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” and that is very true, for everyone, if you give me a test in the field of maths, or a spelling test, or read anything I write, and see how poor my grammar is, I am in fact dumb, but that would not be the case in other things of the world. it's just the things I am dumb at are shown more, because it is spelling, and grammar, but part of that is my fault, and I have improved a lot in those fields.
I think I'm just different from most people, and I use to wish I was not, but now I see the beauty in being a piece that rather than fitting into the puzzle, is a puzzle all of its own, I will leave you with this,
it is easy to love your friends, but the hard thing is to love your enemies, but as hard as that might be, having compassion for them is a quality of a beautiful heart, because remember their life might be worse off than yours, and they might need the love, and prayers.
may The Holy Most High Bless you as many times as there are stars in the night sky,
love, your friend,
VPK
there is a method to my "madness"
Dear my readers,
there is a method, and a reason behind why I do, and say things. Maybe it was born out of curiosity, or maybe from boredism, but let me just say to those of you who read this, if I was to tell you why I do, and say the things I say you would understand me a lot better, but no some things are best kept secret, and the world is best kept thinking the way it does
love, your friend
vpk
there is a method, and a reason behind why I do, and say things. Maybe it was born out of curiosity, or maybe from boredism, but let me just say to those of you who read this, if I was to tell you why I do, and say the things I say you would understand me a lot better, but no some things are best kept secret, and the world is best kept thinking the way it does
love, your friend
vpk
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
perfect
Dear my lovely readers,
I did some thinking while walking today, and things have become more clear to me now, once you understand something, you don't worry about it as much, and you have to take everything as a lesson, because life never stops teaching you. we all want everything to be perfect, but besides The Holy Most High, the only thing that is perfect is the word, and everyone has a different view on what perfect is, so in order for perfect to exist in the human world, we all have to agree on everything, however that simply is not meant to be, because the world is not meant to be perfect
thank you for your time,
love, your friend,
vpk
I did some thinking while walking today, and things have become more clear to me now, once you understand something, you don't worry about it as much, and you have to take everything as a lesson, because life never stops teaching you. we all want everything to be perfect, but besides The Holy Most High, the only thing that is perfect is the word, and everyone has a different view on what perfect is, so in order for perfect to exist in the human world, we all have to agree on everything, however that simply is not meant to be, because the world is not meant to be perfect
thank you for your time,
love, your friend,
vpk
things I wonder
Dear my readers,
so sometimes I wonder about weird things, and maybe to some they are stupid, but then again this is my blog, so deal with it xD
1. why do we get old, and die?
if cells are programmed to regenerate new ones after the old ones die, then why does this stop, and why do we get old for that matter? now perhaps nature knows if no one died of old age there would be a good chance people live hundreds of years, and the earth simply is not big enough for that, but there is no proof anything happens in nature for reason like that, so why is it five year old jimmy will one day be 100 year old jim, and then die?
2.when I say I hate how people judge me, and they are judgemental I'm I judging them, and being a hypocrite?
when someone says how stupid I am, it upsets me, and I feel they are judging me, and they are judgemental, but maybe the truth is I too am being judgemental for judging them for judging me. perhaps in reality we are all judgeful of others, but it just seems like other people do it more than others.
3.were humans good, or evil first?
now religiously speaking the answer is good, because you know the whole story, but I am talking out of religious context, so I wonder why were humans good, or evil first? like did the first man have wicked intentions, and learned to be good, or was he good, and learned to be evil?
4.does anything exist if I don't know, think, go, hear, or hear about it?
in the universe, reality is seen as what is real, but in philosophy reality is not away what it seems to be, and everything is in question, so with that said I had a thought while driving home today, and looking out the windows at cows, did those cows exist before I seen them, and while I am gone does my home city exist, like maybe nothing exist what so ever, but what is around us, and f what we think about, you can say oh vic I think you smoked too much weed in your life, but maybe you need to think outside the box once in a while.
5. how many wars go on behind closed doors?
the world is so lovely, but how true is that, you see there are wars going on, no I;m not talking about wars between this country, and that country, but I mean between friends, and families, like a friend might be in war with another friend, and sometimes these are sneak wars, and one of the people does not even know he, or she is in the war
many of you reading this blog post probably think this whole post was stupid, but many of you think any thing I do is stupid xD
thank you for reading,
love, your friend
VPK
so sometimes I wonder about weird things, and maybe to some they are stupid, but then again this is my blog, so deal with it xD
1. why do we get old, and die?
if cells are programmed to regenerate new ones after the old ones die, then why does this stop, and why do we get old for that matter? now perhaps nature knows if no one died of old age there would be a good chance people live hundreds of years, and the earth simply is not big enough for that, but there is no proof anything happens in nature for reason like that, so why is it five year old jimmy will one day be 100 year old jim, and then die?
2.when I say I hate how people judge me, and they are judgemental I'm I judging them, and being a hypocrite?
when someone says how stupid I am, it upsets me, and I feel they are judging me, and they are judgemental, but maybe the truth is I too am being judgemental for judging them for judging me. perhaps in reality we are all judgeful of others, but it just seems like other people do it more than others.
3.were humans good, or evil first?
now religiously speaking the answer is good, because you know the whole story, but I am talking out of religious context, so I wonder why were humans good, or evil first? like did the first man have wicked intentions, and learned to be good, or was he good, and learned to be evil?
4.does anything exist if I don't know, think, go, hear, or hear about it?
in the universe, reality is seen as what is real, but in philosophy reality is not away what it seems to be, and everything is in question, so with that said I had a thought while driving home today, and looking out the windows at cows, did those cows exist before I seen them, and while I am gone does my home city exist, like maybe nothing exist what so ever, but what is around us, and f what we think about, you can say oh vic I think you smoked too much weed in your life, but maybe you need to think outside the box once in a while.
5. how many wars go on behind closed doors?
the world is so lovely, but how true is that, you see there are wars going on, no I;m not talking about wars between this country, and that country, but I mean between friends, and families, like a friend might be in war with another friend, and sometimes these are sneak wars, and one of the people does not even know he, or she is in the war
many of you reading this blog post probably think this whole post was stupid, but many of you think any thing I do is stupid xD
thank you for reading,
love, your friend
VPK
Saturday, September 17, 2011
I do in fact
love you all, but in a friendship way, and that is the problem with he word love in places like the united states, and maybe some other English speaking countries (I'm nor sure about other speaking counties) there is no different way of saying "I love you" and meaning it in a friendship way, and saying it to someone in a relationship way. so sometimes when you say "I love you" to someone, but mean it in friendship way they might think you mean it in a I want to be with you way, and things can become complicated. you can say "platonically love" you, but saying platonically could get annoying. I guess most people should know the difference, like when I tell people I love then I mean in a friendship way, and I think most people know that:)
may The Holy Most High Bless you all:)
I love you all deeply
your friend
VPK
may The Holy Most High Bless you all:)
I love you all deeply
your friend
VPK
Friday, September 16, 2011
maybe you should fuck off!
you sit there, and dance in my sorrows, and it brings you great joy, because you don't want to look at the ugliness in your own life, so you sit there, and point mine out. you see I could do just like you, and use the sword of judgement, and cut you so fucking deep, but no I hold back, and hold my tongue, but hey do me a favour, take your knife out of my back, and stop faking
that's what I should say to all the people that seem to hate me, however I won't no I won't I just take peoples knives deep into my soul, and and die inside, but to the people that hate me, you need to know something, no matter how many times you kill me, I won't stay dead, and no matter how many times you kill me, or try to kill me, I, victor paul kugler, shall always love you, because my love is stronger than your hate♥
by the way, this post is not about anyone, but more about me addressing anyone that hates me, so I don't have to waste my time doing so later
that's what I should say to all the people that seem to hate me, however I won't no I won't I just take peoples knives deep into my soul, and and die inside, but to the people that hate me, you need to know something, no matter how many times you kill me, I won't stay dead, and no matter how many times you kill me, or try to kill me, I, victor paul kugler, shall always love you, because my love is stronger than your hate♥
by the way, this post is not about anyone, but more about me addressing anyone that hates me, so I don't have to waste my time doing so later
Dear God
grant me the will to smile
as the world throws me on trail
as the snakes grab a hold
and leave me dead in the cold
they attack the young
the spit on the old
the play the role of pretend
they want your happiness to end
but with you as my sword and shield
the run, and and yield
the slither away
they die and rot in decay
lift up my soul
when I feel a hole
and feel like giving in
show me your light
when it's dark
because you are all
I need to survive
as the world throws me on trail
as the snakes grab a hold
and leave me dead in the cold
they attack the young
the spit on the old
the play the role of pretend
they want your happiness to end
but with you as my sword and shield
the run, and and yield
the slither away
they die and rot in decay
lift up my soul
when I feel a hole
and feel like giving in
show me your light
when it's dark
because you are all
I need to survive
Thursday, September 15, 2011
as the world turns
Dear my lovely readers,
lots of things come, and go in my universe as I sit on the throne in my tempo of thought, I am having California dreams these days, more than European ones, although I still want to go to Europe, mainly London, and England in genera. The reason I want to go to cali is to meet my family there, and some other people, and it be a lot cheaper than a flight to Europe.
cali is not all that is on my mind, as my thoughts have been at peace more than before, because I asked for understanding, and I think I have got it. before I use to ask why this, or why that, but now I just am at peace with my self, and there for at peace with what the day brings.
I have been rewriting my first book for a while now, and I think It is better I did that, because now it feels more better, the story is told a few times, but each time by a different person's point of view, and I think it fits the ending better. who knows maybe one day it will be in stores:) I also been writing more poetry, but not posting it, because it is really personal
that is all for now,
I love everyone deeply
your friend
vpk
lots of things come, and go in my universe as I sit on the throne in my tempo of thought, I am having California dreams these days, more than European ones, although I still want to go to Europe, mainly London, and England in genera. The reason I want to go to cali is to meet my family there, and some other people, and it be a lot cheaper than a flight to Europe.
cali is not all that is on my mind, as my thoughts have been at peace more than before, because I asked for understanding, and I think I have got it. before I use to ask why this, or why that, but now I just am at peace with my self, and there for at peace with what the day brings.
I have been rewriting my first book for a while now, and I think It is better I did that, because now it feels more better, the story is told a few times, but each time by a different person's point of view, and I think it fits the ending better. who knows maybe one day it will be in stores:) I also been writing more poetry, but not posting it, because it is really personal
that is all for now,
I love everyone deeply
your friend
vpk
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
did they not leave them there to die?
when people ask me about 9/11, and who did it, I always say the united states government, and often I hear "no way would the government just kill people like that" OK well let me ask all of you a question then, after hurricane Katrina, did the government not just leave the people there to die? did bush not use what little power was left to make a speech, to look good, and than just leave them there to die? then I hear, because I feel this way I am anti american, and that is bull shit. just because I think we have a wicked government does not mean I am anti american, if I was anti american I would not give a damn, and just say who gives a damn about who they murder, or leave to die to get what they want but that also does not mean I have to like the governed, and think they care about the people when they only care about money.
Monday, September 12, 2011
what I want the most
right now I don't want a lover, I don't want a best friend, I don't want to be less dumber, I don't want to be less annoying, OK I do want those things, but there is something I want more, that I always wanted, and I'm too shy to say, but if I had it I would not be so sad I think.
every time I feel like I have it, I some how lose it, and it is all my fault:(
every time I feel like I have it, I some how lose it, and it is all my fault:(
I want to talk about this, and not about that
Dear my lovely readers,
as you know I go see a theropist, and one of their names is paul, and while I feel as it is helping when I talk to the doctor, I don't feel the same when I see him simply because when I see him he wants to talk about things such as sports, fantasy football, and diabetes. listen I love sports, and most times I'm up for talkong about it, but not there, because there I want to talk about why I am there, why I am sad, and the things that bother me, but he never brings them up, it is always like this
"so how are you today"
me-"not too good"
him "did you watch the game yesterday"
and I'm like yeah, but why not ask why I am not too good? I mean I am not coming there to talk about everything, but why I'm sad. I don't know if this is some kind of method they use, but I don't like it. I guess people might say "well vic maybe he wants to get to know you first" and maybe that is true. but it is just I feel as I'm wasting my time not talking about things
current mood-ok
that is all for now,
I love you all deeply
your friend
VPK
as you know I go see a theropist, and one of their names is paul, and while I feel as it is helping when I talk to the doctor, I don't feel the same when I see him simply because when I see him he wants to talk about things such as sports, fantasy football, and diabetes. listen I love sports, and most times I'm up for talkong about it, but not there, because there I want to talk about why I am there, why I am sad, and the things that bother me, but he never brings them up, it is always like this
"so how are you today"
me-"not too good"
him "did you watch the game yesterday"
and I'm like yeah, but why not ask why I am not too good? I mean I am not coming there to talk about everything, but why I'm sad. I don't know if this is some kind of method they use, but I don't like it. I guess people might say "well vic maybe he wants to get to know you first" and maybe that is true. but it is just I feel as I'm wasting my time not talking about things
current mood-ok
that is all for now,
I love you all deeply
your friend
VPK
the same thing is seen different
Dear my lovely readers,
in life something that appears one way to one person looks different to another, for example, look at this pic of this lady
you see a young lady
but look again
but this time, don't see the young lady, but the old woman.
that is how I feel I am with people, some see me one way. others see me another way, and in many cases both points of view are correct, and wrong, but it is not just me who this is true for, but everyone in the world.
that is all for now,
I love you all deeply
your friend
VPK:)
in life something that appears one way to one person looks different to another, for example, look at this pic of this lady
you see a young lady
but look again
but this time, don't see the young lady, but the old woman.
that is how I feel I am with people, some see me one way. others see me another way, and in many cases both points of view are correct, and wrong, but it is not just me who this is true for, but everyone in the world.
that is all for now,
I love you all deeply
your friend
VPK:)
Sunday, September 11, 2011
The invasion of the Bird
Dear my lovely readers,
so I am sitting down stairs, watching the football game (before I go on you should know)
I mean this
and not this
but, back to the story. so I am watching the game, not really caring about it, because my team is not playing when I hear yelled from the kitchen "there's a bird in the house" my reaction "WHAT? HOW?" how does a bird get in your house? like I understand when mice do, but a bird, and there is not even any windows open that don't have something in the way. my theory is someone had the front, or back door ipem, and it flew in, but how could they not see it? now it is chillin in the room of the kitchen, we been trying to catch it, but the damn thing can fly, and we don't want to hurt the bird. we even have the window open in hopes it will just fly out, but no, and oh yes the dogs are going crazy too
oh, and if you remember that one blog post were I talked about flowers, and a garden, but it was really noit about that? well I found out what I need to know, and it all makes sense, but still feel as if there is much info they are not telling me.
also I decided that I won't eat meat, but talk to my doctor(s) about what I can do to get what meat would provided, because I simply can't eat meat that comes from a land animal, ohh if you wonder why I say doctor(s) instead of doctorm well it is because I go to a place with many doctors that work for a company, and I never see the same one, hell the only time I ever see my primary care doctor is when I stay at the hospital, and he is the one that has to approve all my test, when I can see specialist, everything. crazy american medical system
I will let you all know what happens with the bird, I might even name her, or him xD
that is all for now,
I love you all deeply
your friend,
VPK
P.A
the bird is gone:)
so I am sitting down stairs, watching the football game (before I go on you should know)
I mean this
and not this
but, back to the story. so I am watching the game, not really caring about it, because my team is not playing when I hear yelled from the kitchen "there's a bird in the house" my reaction "WHAT? HOW?" how does a bird get in your house? like I understand when mice do, but a bird, and there is not even any windows open that don't have something in the way. my theory is someone had the front, or back door ipem, and it flew in, but how could they not see it? now it is chillin in the room of the kitchen, we been trying to catch it, but the damn thing can fly, and we don't want to hurt the bird. we even have the window open in hopes it will just fly out, but no, and oh yes the dogs are going crazy too
oh, and if you remember that one blog post were I talked about flowers, and a garden, but it was really noit about that? well I found out what I need to know, and it all makes sense, but still feel as if there is much info they are not telling me.
also I decided that I won't eat meat, but talk to my doctor(s) about what I can do to get what meat would provided, because I simply can't eat meat that comes from a land animal, ohh if you wonder why I say doctor(s) instead of doctorm well it is because I go to a place with many doctors that work for a company, and I never see the same one, hell the only time I ever see my primary care doctor is when I stay at the hospital, and he is the one that has to approve all my test, when I can see specialist, everything. crazy american medical system
I will let you all know what happens with the bird, I might even name her, or him xD
that is all for now,
I love you all deeply
your friend,
VPK
P.A
the bird is gone:)
Saturday, September 10, 2011
my dilemma (advice needed)
Dear my lovely readers,
so as you know, I gave up eating meat, and it has been a few months since I have ate any, but yesterday on facebook, I posted
"sometimes I miss eating meat"
now I normely would not post what I posted on facebook here, but then I got this reply
" you should be eating it victor. it has protein and other shit you need seeing as youre malnourished as it is"
and I replied
"what? what do you mean I'm malnourished?"
and the person replied
" youre all pale and weak looking. you need nutrients dude! and fa cuz you are too thin"
now the thing about it is since I stayed at the hospital in March, and April, I have lost weight, and my doctors (both medical, and other) have told me they have noticed a weight loss, I was even yelled at by one about it (if you remember), but I also have felt better, but everyone says I;m not
my dilemma is I don't know if I should eat meat to get healthy again, or not, because I really like being a pescaterian.
in one hand I don't eat meat, but stay unhealthy
but
on the other I eat meat, and still feel unhealthy, because not eating meat made me feel better
please give advice on what I should do,
thank you all for your time,
I love you all deeply,
your friend
VPK
so as you know, I gave up eating meat, and it has been a few months since I have ate any, but yesterday on facebook, I posted
"sometimes I miss eating meat"
now I normely would not post what I posted on facebook here, but then I got this reply
" you should be eating it victor. it has protein and other shit you need seeing as youre malnourished as it is"
and I replied
"what? what do you mean I'm malnourished?"
and the person replied
" youre all pale and weak looking. you need nutrients dude! and fa cuz you are too thin"
now the thing about it is since I stayed at the hospital in March, and April, I have lost weight, and my doctors (both medical, and other) have told me they have noticed a weight loss, I was even yelled at by one about it (if you remember), but I also have felt better, but everyone says I;m not
my dilemma is I don't know if I should eat meat to get healthy again, or not, because I really like being a pescaterian.
in one hand I don't eat meat, but stay unhealthy
but
on the other I eat meat, and still feel unhealthy, because not eating meat made me feel better
please give advice on what I should do,
thank you all for your time,
I love you all deeply,
your friend
VPK
death penalty yes vs no
so an issue that comes up a lot in the world is "should there be capital punishment" so I want to write down why I feel as there should not be, and why there should be.
Why there should be
1.serial murders, and rapist- if someone commits a crime, such as murder, and does it over, and over again (a serial killer) what right do they have to live, while the families of the victims suffer every day knowing their loved one is dead while the murder is alive?
2.Fear of committing crime-it could rise the fear in committing crimes such as rape so high, people would be afraid to do them, thus lowering crime rates
3. an eye for an eye-if you take ones life, than your life should be taken too. it is only fair
4.DNA -in today's world DNA is used for many things such as to see if the baby is indeed the son, and it is also used in criminal cases such as in rape, or murder, and DNA is pretty accurate, and bullet proof
why there should not be
1.mistakes-often a person will be on death row for years, and they will find out either in time, or when it is too late there was mistake, and the wrong person was charged. the person will never get the years he lost back, and if he dies an inncoent person was put to death
2.there is no guarantee-since no one is for sure what the after life holds, no one is sure if a serial killer is punished after death, we like to believe so, but can never prove so, however we do know how bad a life in prison is, so a life in prison, a guaranteed bad thing is better than hoping that the after life is hell
3.a chance to repent-if someone was to kill someone in let's say an act of rage, but was not a serial killer, putting them to death would erase any chance for the to be forgiven by the family, and if they are religious, the Holy Most High.
4.money-it coast a lot of money to have someone on death row. first there is the case, but not just one case, you see there would be one for the crime, and then one for the punishment, this includes lawyer fees, judge fees, jury fees, and so on. then after that comes the numerous appeals
5. poor people-if a rich person is charged with a crime that could lead to the death penalty, they can hire the best lawyers money can buy, however if a poor person is charged he can't afford a good lawyer, and is instead put with a public defender, who only takes the case, because they have too, and really don't care about the person being charged, and really could care less about the outcome
there are many many more reason for both sides, and this is a debate that will go on forever. I personally am against it, but I know many people who are for it. how do you feel about it?
Why there should be
1.serial murders, and rapist- if someone commits a crime, such as murder, and does it over, and over again (a serial killer) what right do they have to live, while the families of the victims suffer every day knowing their loved one is dead while the murder is alive?
2.Fear of committing crime-it could rise the fear in committing crimes such as rape so high, people would be afraid to do them, thus lowering crime rates
3. an eye for an eye-if you take ones life, than your life should be taken too. it is only fair
4.DNA -in today's world DNA is used for many things such as to see if the baby is indeed the son, and it is also used in criminal cases such as in rape, or murder, and DNA is pretty accurate, and bullet proof
why there should not be
1.mistakes-often a person will be on death row for years, and they will find out either in time, or when it is too late there was mistake, and the wrong person was charged. the person will never get the years he lost back, and if he dies an inncoent person was put to death
2.there is no guarantee-since no one is for sure what the after life holds, no one is sure if a serial killer is punished after death, we like to believe so, but can never prove so, however we do know how bad a life in prison is, so a life in prison, a guaranteed bad thing is better than hoping that the after life is hell
3.a chance to repent-if someone was to kill someone in let's say an act of rage, but was not a serial killer, putting them to death would erase any chance for the to be forgiven by the family, and if they are religious, the Holy Most High.
4.money-it coast a lot of money to have someone on death row. first there is the case, but not just one case, you see there would be one for the crime, and then one for the punishment, this includes lawyer fees, judge fees, jury fees, and so on. then after that comes the numerous appeals
5. poor people-if a rich person is charged with a crime that could lead to the death penalty, they can hire the best lawyers money can buy, however if a poor person is charged he can't afford a good lawyer, and is instead put with a public defender, who only takes the case, because they have too, and really don't care about the person being charged, and really could care less about the outcome
there are many many more reason for both sides, and this is a debate that will go on forever. I personally am against it, but I know many people who are for it. how do you feel about it?
Friday, September 9, 2011
I did some thinking
so I needed to do some thinking, so I went to the one place where I do my best thinking, the shower, I sat there thinking about why I suffer (see my blog before about suffering) and what my heart desires, and then I realized something I make my self suffer for the wrong thing. you see my whole life I have been suffering for the love of people, even when I know that love exist I tell my self it does not, and suffer to prove to my self it does, and I sat, and asked my self "why do you do this to your self? how many times must you prove to your self people love you, and then I thought of this, why do you suffer so much for people, but never for The Holy Most High? I become to attached to people, and from this point on, I will not do that any more, because I no longer seek to prove I matter, because thinking I did not matter was pretty foolish of me, everyone in the world matters, and every soul that lives has a purpose. This is when I realized I don'y have to suffer for love of people, because I already have it, and I never have to suffer for the love of The Holy Most High, because that will always exist, but I do have to suffer when it comes to serving him. by that I mean there is going to be times when I want to do what I know is wrongm and I will struggle to not do it, but I must do what is right:D
oh, and if anyone ask how I can believe in The Holy Most High (I call THE LORD that, because since there are many gods people believe in, I feel saying god is like saying human, we don't call someone human, but by their name, and since I am unsure of the name I just say The Holy Most High) if I never seen him? well that is what faith is all about, you see I don't need to see a pitcher to know he exist, but my faith has proven time, and time again He does
as you all know I love all of you.
until next post, I hope you all have wonderful days ahead of you
your friend,
victor paul kugler
oh, and if anyone ask how I can believe in The Holy Most High (I call THE LORD that, because since there are many gods people believe in, I feel saying god is like saying human, we don't call someone human, but by their name, and since I am unsure of the name I just say The Holy Most High) if I never seen him? well that is what faith is all about, you see I don't need to see a pitcher to know he exist, but my faith has proven time, and time again He does
as you all know I love all of you.
until next post, I hope you all have wonderful days ahead of you
your friend,
victor paul kugler
To Live Is To Suffer, To Survive Is To Find Meaning In The Suffering
Dear my lovely readers,
Greeting my friend,
I come to you in a peaceful mood today, and hope you are all doing well. there is a quote by Buddha "To Live Is To Suffer" and it is finished off by Nietzsche "To Survive Is To Find Meaning In The Suffering". I find this to be true, because in life we suffer, for example, I been searching for love, but if I did not know the meaning of wanting love I would not survive my suffering, and I would not realize suffering is worth the reward if what you suffer for has meaning to your soul. sometimes the meaning of what we suffer for is not clear to us, and we seek the answers serching for meaning in places such as our own mind, heart and outside ones own self, sometimes we suffer for things we should not suffer for, such as materialistic things, but with materialistic things it can be confusing, because at times ones soul desires these thing. The jey is to find a balance.
my soul just does not suffer to find non Platonic love (I have plenty of Platonic love, and I love you are very much) but I suffer to be smarter, because though out life I been told I am not smart, I suffer to be an author, because that has been my foal since a young age, and that has always what I wanted to be, I suffer to accept myself, because for a long time I have never done so. I also suffer with other things too.
I do not suffer as much as I have, because love will come when it comes, I feel I am not stupid, and have been learning, I accept my self more.
that is all for now
thank you all for your time,
I love you all very deeply,
your friend,
vpk
Greeting my friend,
I come to you in a peaceful mood today, and hope you are all doing well. there is a quote by Buddha "To Live Is To Suffer" and it is finished off by Nietzsche "To Survive Is To Find Meaning In The Suffering". I find this to be true, because in life we suffer, for example, I been searching for love, but if I did not know the meaning of wanting love I would not survive my suffering, and I would not realize suffering is worth the reward if what you suffer for has meaning to your soul. sometimes the meaning of what we suffer for is not clear to us, and we seek the answers serching for meaning in places such as our own mind, heart and outside ones own self, sometimes we suffer for things we should not suffer for, such as materialistic things, but with materialistic things it can be confusing, because at times ones soul desires these thing. The jey is to find a balance.
my soul just does not suffer to find non Platonic love (I have plenty of Platonic love, and I love you are very much) but I suffer to be smarter, because though out life I been told I am not smart, I suffer to be an author, because that has been my foal since a young age, and that has always what I wanted to be, I suffer to accept myself, because for a long time I have never done so. I also suffer with other things too.
I do not suffer as much as I have, because love will come when it comes, I feel I am not stupid, and have been learning, I accept my self more.
that is all for now
thank you all for your time,
I love you all very deeply,
your friend,
vpk
Thursday, September 8, 2011
just a thought
I am a flower that dances in the wind, but there is a lot you don't tell me, but I knew something strange had to happen since one of my earliest memories were with those of another garden, those memories being another green house, and the pitcher I took with the two other trees. To be honest, that is all I remember of the other garden, and my roots are with these flowers, but I need to know was my seed planted here, or somewhere else, and if it was, why was I took? I don't want the rose to cry, but at the same time, I need to know my history that has not been told to me.
this is clearly not about flowers, or a garden, but it's about something that lingers over me like a cloud of rain following me, and until I find out the truth, that cloud shall never go away
this is clearly not about flowers, or a garden, but it's about something that lingers over me like a cloud of rain following me, and until I find out the truth, that cloud shall never go away
strange dream
Dear my lovely readers,
so this is a dream I had last night, or this morning, depending on what you consider it
so I had a dream about a farm, now in this dreams there was no humans, not even me, but this is what happened in the dream, there was two chickens, a red one, and a brown one, now these chickens hated each, and there was no peace in the chicken coop, and the pig in the barn near by said how they were of the same rooster, but different hens. the chickens were fighting, but then the spider came, and told the red chicken if he bows to him, he would kill the brown chicken, but he would have to make sure not to do anything to the other chicken and the red chicken agreed, but the spider did not just kill the red chicken, but made the two agree to peace, this made the whole farm happy, because there was peace, and the spider became the ruler of the farm, but then something happened, and the brown chicken was blamed (even though he did not do it) and every animal in the barn turned against him, and the spider, became ruthless, and any animal that did not worship him was murdered. the farm was worse of than it was before. the farm was thrown into a war between those who followed the spider, and those who did not.
if dreams were clear in meaning, that would be better, but this one was not
I do, however have an understanding for what dreams mean most times, and I do know the meaning of this dream
that is all for now,
I love you all deeply
your friend,
vpk
so this is a dream I had last night, or this morning, depending on what you consider it
so I had a dream about a farm, now in this dreams there was no humans, not even me, but this is what happened in the dream, there was two chickens, a red one, and a brown one, now these chickens hated each, and there was no peace in the chicken coop, and the pig in the barn near by said how they were of the same rooster, but different hens. the chickens were fighting, but then the spider came, and told the red chicken if he bows to him, he would kill the brown chicken, but he would have to make sure not to do anything to the other chicken and the red chicken agreed, but the spider did not just kill the red chicken, but made the two agree to peace, this made the whole farm happy, because there was peace, and the spider became the ruler of the farm, but then something happened, and the brown chicken was blamed (even though he did not do it) and every animal in the barn turned against him, and the spider, became ruthless, and any animal that did not worship him was murdered. the farm was worse of than it was before. the farm was thrown into a war between those who followed the spider, and those who did not.
if dreams were clear in meaning, that would be better, but this one was not
I do, however have an understanding for what dreams mean most times, and I do know the meaning of this dream
that is all for now,
I love you all deeply
your friend,
vpk
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
winter ghost
Dear my lovely readers,
my head is in pain, and these meds are working as good as bush when he was "leader of the free world" so I;m going to blog, hehe
the fall is coming, and that means so too is winter, and for some reason I'm looking forward to the snow this year, now there exist no gurantee it will snow, because we have had crazy winters were it does not snow, one winter it did not even snow, and was in the 70's people were even wearing shorts, and not hoodies, but speaking of which, hoodies are the main reason I like the fall, and winter, because I get to wear them all the time.
one thing I don't get about snow, is snow flakes, and when people say "no two snow flakes look a like" like how can that even be proven? like in order for that theory to be proven someone would some how have to see every single snow flake in the world, and sorry but no one is doing that, and if they are, they could try to idk find something better to prove is true, like if ghost exist (they do, my old house is haunted)
by the way, this is what a snowflake looks like up close, very beautiful if you ask me:)
I miss my old house though, I miss staring out my window at night when I was really young, and looking into the empty world, seen the few cars that passed by, and the random items such as a nurger king cup gly by in the street, wondering what ever became of that cup, and even making up stories of the cups life (yup I always been weird xD)
well until bext time,
I love you all like a flower loves the sunlight♥
take care my friends,
your friend
vic
my head is in pain, and these meds are working as good as bush when he was "leader of the free world" so I;m going to blog, hehe
the fall is coming, and that means so too is winter, and for some reason I'm looking forward to the snow this year, now there exist no gurantee it will snow, because we have had crazy winters were it does not snow, one winter it did not even snow, and was in the 70's people were even wearing shorts, and not hoodies, but speaking of which, hoodies are the main reason I like the fall, and winter, because I get to wear them all the time.
one thing I don't get about snow, is snow flakes, and when people say "no two snow flakes look a like" like how can that even be proven? like in order for that theory to be proven someone would some how have to see every single snow flake in the world, and sorry but no one is doing that, and if they are, they could try to idk find something better to prove is true, like if ghost exist (they do, my old house is haunted)
by the way, this is what a snowflake looks like up close, very beautiful if you ask me:)
I miss my old house though, I miss staring out my window at night when I was really young, and looking into the empty world, seen the few cars that passed by, and the random items such as a nurger king cup gly by in the street, wondering what ever became of that cup, and even making up stories of the cups life (yup I always been weird xD)
well until bext time,
I love you all like a flower loves the sunlight♥
take care my friends,
your friend
vic
pescatarian, and other things
Dear my lovely readers,
so it has been a few months since I became a vegetarian(technically a pescatarian), and I find it to be pretty easy not to eat meat now, when I first started it was hard, because it seemed as if everything had meat in it, but finding things with out meat is easy, and even ordering out is easy, because you can get most of everything with no meat. I think being able to eat sea food is a big help too. in case you are wondering why I became one, well the main reason is, because animals are poorly treated by the people that turn them into meat aka slaughter houses, and it is healthier
I guess I should update you on how my depression is going, and well it is going ok, I have not been sad for a while, so I guess everything is working:)
9/11 is coming up, and as you know this is a big day in the states, because what happened, when it happened I was in grade school, and my final year of grade school. lot of things changed since that day, most for the bad, and since then the U.S has been in a "war" to end terrorism even though most people would say they "the united states government" is the biggest terrorist in the world, and I "victor kugler" would agree with them, however the day is not about the wickedness of the government, any form of terrorism, or anything like that, but about the victims, and the people who tried to save them.
Finally I have found the last season of Inyuyasha, an anime, so I can finally see what happens in the story, I watched every episode, but then it ended with out any conclusion to the story, but I found it, by accident, and now will see what happens, but it is in sub titles though, but that's ok, I like reading:)
that is all for now,
I love you all deeply,
so it has been a few months since I became a vegetarian(technically a pescatarian), and I find it to be pretty easy not to eat meat now, when I first started it was hard, because it seemed as if everything had meat in it, but finding things with out meat is easy, and even ordering out is easy, because you can get most of everything with no meat. I think being able to eat sea food is a big help too. in case you are wondering why I became one, well the main reason is, because animals are poorly treated by the people that turn them into meat aka slaughter houses, and it is healthier
I guess I should update you on how my depression is going, and well it is going ok, I have not been sad for a while, so I guess everything is working:)
9/11 is coming up, and as you know this is a big day in the states, because what happened, when it happened I was in grade school, and my final year of grade school. lot of things changed since that day, most for the bad, and since then the U.S has been in a "war" to end terrorism even though most people would say they "the united states government" is the biggest terrorist in the world, and I "victor kugler" would agree with them, however the day is not about the wickedness of the government, any form of terrorism, or anything like that, but about the victims, and the people who tried to save them.
Finally I have found the last season of Inyuyasha, an anime, so I can finally see what happens in the story, I watched every episode, but then it ended with out any conclusion to the story, but I found it, by accident, and now will see what happens, but it is in sub titles though, but that's ok, I like reading:)
that is all for now,
I love you all deeply,
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Eating chips
Dear my lovely readers,
so yesterday I received the news my sister is pregnant with her fourth child, and the news makes me happy, but at the same time concerned since it is so close to her last child she had, but that news was over taken by other news,
The news my grandparents have to move from their home after 40 years has got everyone upset. now (in case) you were wondering "why did they just not buy a house, or that house?" well they were going to buy it in the 90's, my grandfather was best friend with the owner, and he was going to sell it to him, but then sadly he got alzheimer, and passed away. His wife sold the house to someone else, whom owns two other houses, but is now selling them. and moving into the house my grandparents currently live in. We have not told them yet, and this news might be too much for them to handle, but
of course my family is doing what they do best with each other, fighting instead of coming together, and figuring out what is best to do with them -__-
I been trying to teach my self maths by reading my old text book, and reading lessons on line since maths is my weakest of all subjects, and I want to get a head start on it since it will be one of the classes I will be taking if I'm able to go back to college next semester. The reason I say "if I'm able too" is, because when I was there last time (last spring semester)is when I got sick, and had to stay in the hospital, but I got sick after the drop out date, so the whole time I was in the hospital, it was counting against me as missing days, and everything, so now I have to see if can go back. I think, because of what happened I have a legit reason why I missed, so I think they should let me go back in the spring. (please keep your fingers crossed)
oh by the way, since this blog was titled "eating chips" I should tell you I am not eating chips, but I'm in the mood for chips, and could not think of a title for this post xD. I just thought of something,
In America they think I mean,
but people from Europe, and probably the rest of the world think I mean
lol I mean chips, or fries as everyone calls them, but I would love some crisp too:D
that is all for now,
I hope everyone had/had a wonderful day, and your tomorrow is even better,
I love you all deeply
your friend
VPK
so yesterday I received the news my sister is pregnant with her fourth child, and the news makes me happy, but at the same time concerned since it is so close to her last child she had, but that news was over taken by other news,
The news my grandparents have to move from their home after 40 years has got everyone upset. now (in case) you were wondering "why did they just not buy a house, or that house?" well they were going to buy it in the 90's, my grandfather was best friend with the owner, and he was going to sell it to him, but then sadly he got alzheimer, and passed away. His wife sold the house to someone else, whom owns two other houses, but is now selling them. and moving into the house my grandparents currently live in. We have not told them yet, and this news might be too much for them to handle, but
of course my family is doing what they do best with each other, fighting instead of coming together, and figuring out what is best to do with them -__-
I been trying to teach my self maths by reading my old text book, and reading lessons on line since maths is my weakest of all subjects, and I want to get a head start on it since it will be one of the classes I will be taking if I'm able to go back to college next semester. The reason I say "if I'm able too" is, because when I was there last time (last spring semester)is when I got sick, and had to stay in the hospital, but I got sick after the drop out date, so the whole time I was in the hospital, it was counting against me as missing days, and everything, so now I have to see if can go back. I think, because of what happened I have a legit reason why I missed, so I think they should let me go back in the spring. (please keep your fingers crossed)
oh by the way, since this blog was titled "eating chips" I should tell you I am not eating chips, but I'm in the mood for chips, and could not think of a title for this post xD. I just thought of something,
In America they think I mean,
but people from Europe, and probably the rest of the world think I mean
lol I mean chips, or fries as everyone calls them, but I would love some crisp too:D
that is all for now,
I hope everyone had/had a wonderful day, and your tomorrow is even better,
I love you all deeply
your friend
VPK
Sunday, September 4, 2011
my dream yesterday/today
Dear my lovely readers,
so I had a dream yesterday/today, in the dream I was first at my grandparents's then all the sudden I was walking to the store, but the store I was going to was a store that closed down forver ago, and then all the sudden I was back at a place talking to a guy, and he said what I would say "capitalism doesn't work, socialism does" and I was like finally someone I talk to in agrees with me, but then the dream completely changed to me being stabbed in the back, but me knowing I was being stabbed in the back, and laughing about it, and saying "as if I expected any different, and as if I'm the first" but then it completely changed again, and it ended with me looking at a pitcher of lily allen, while listening to the fear
looking at the dream, I think if it has a meaning I know what it is
that is all for now,
I love you all deeply,
your friend,
vpk
so I had a dream yesterday/today, in the dream I was first at my grandparents's then all the sudden I was walking to the store, but the store I was going to was a store that closed down forver ago, and then all the sudden I was back at a place talking to a guy, and he said what I would say "capitalism doesn't work, socialism does" and I was like finally someone I talk to in agrees with me, but then the dream completely changed to me being stabbed in the back, but me knowing I was being stabbed in the back, and laughing about it, and saying "as if I expected any different, and as if I'm the first" but then it completely changed again, and it ended with me looking at a pitcher of lily allen, while listening to the fear
looking at the dream, I think if it has a meaning I know what it is
that is all for now,
I love you all deeply,
your friend,
vpk
Friday, September 2, 2011
do you not use products tested on animals?
so often I here people say " I will not use this hair spray, wear this shirt, etc etc if it is made with anything tested on animals" so they wear, or use products that say "not tested on animals"
but, how true is the statement, not tested on animals?
as true as as a lie can be,
what?
ok, let me explain to you how it works.
let's say they have a chemical they want to test on a rabbit, we will call it chemical K, well they do the test with chemical k until they get what they wants.
however,
knowing the backlash animal rights groups will give them if they find out there product contains things that were tested on animals, they change the name of chemocal k to redmars11,
why?
because technically redmars11 was not tested on animals, and they can legally put on their products "not tested on animals" and get away with it, even though redmars11 is the same as chemical k. it's bull I know, but that is how it works, and it is better for you to know the truth about "animal testing free products" than to be caught up in their lie
in conclusion, it sucks big time, for the people that are being lied to, and worst of all for the animals that suffer from all the testing:(
but, how true is the statement, not tested on animals?
as true as as a lie can be,
what?
ok, let me explain to you how it works.
let's say they have a chemical they want to test on a rabbit, we will call it chemical K, well they do the test with chemical k until they get what they wants.
however,
knowing the backlash animal rights groups will give them if they find out there product contains things that were tested on animals, they change the name of chemocal k to redmars11,
why?
because technically redmars11 was not tested on animals, and they can legally put on their products "not tested on animals" and get away with it, even though redmars11 is the same as chemical k. it's bull I know, but that is how it works, and it is better for you to know the truth about "animal testing free products" than to be caught up in their lie
in conclusion, it sucks big time, for the people that are being lied to, and worst of all for the animals that suffer from all the testing:(
Thursday, September 1, 2011
untitled-part 3-angry version
let us chop this tree
chop every thing we see
step on the flowers
the garden must die
leave all the animals
to become a meal of the fly
here there shall be no life
every root shall be a victim
of the blade of the knife
the fruits shall lay in rot
and everything else shall not
see the life of another day
this is a graveyard of dreams
a world of schemes
never to wake up from the sleep
fall into hell's deep
pits were none of these falsehoods
have, and never shall exist
but people burn for them
in lakes of fire they
are not able to swim
in, but gasp for air
while the axe chops the wood
giving the tree a cold star
the wood becomes the fires whore
it burns to ashes until it's no more
you are the tree, so is me
and everything that lives
always dies eventually
chop every thing we see
step on the flowers
the garden must die
leave all the animals
to become a meal of the fly
here there shall be no life
every root shall be a victim
of the blade of the knife
the fruits shall lay in rot
and everything else shall not
see the life of another day
this is a graveyard of dreams
a world of schemes
never to wake up from the sleep
fall into hell's deep
pits were none of these falsehoods
have, and never shall exist
but people burn for them
in lakes of fire they
are not able to swim
in, but gasp for air
while the axe chops the wood
giving the tree a cold star
the wood becomes the fires whore
it burns to ashes until it's no more
you are the tree, so is me
and everything that lives
always dies eventually
today at the doctor's
Dear my lovely readers,
so I went to the doctor's today, because as some of you know I get dizzy a lot, so I get there, and they take my blood pressure, and it was low, but it always is, and the doctor comes in, and asks me how many times a day do I eat, and I told her 2, sometimes 3, and wow she got upset, and yelled at me, she told me I need to eat, and that is why my blood sugar goes high, because my body resorts to eating its self, then she said I might have to go to the hospital to get an I.V of liquids, she even wanted them to put me in another type of hospital, so they can evaluate me. so now I have to get blood test for some reason,because of all this-__-
but,
the thing is, even when I do eat I am dizzy.
mood-frustrated, but happy
that is all for now,
I love you all deeply
your friend
vpk
so I went to the doctor's today, because as some of you know I get dizzy a lot, so I get there, and they take my blood pressure, and it was low, but it always is, and the doctor comes in, and asks me how many times a day do I eat, and I told her 2, sometimes 3, and wow she got upset, and yelled at me, she told me I need to eat, and that is why my blood sugar goes high, because my body resorts to eating its self, then she said I might have to go to the hospital to get an I.V of liquids, she even wanted them to put me in another type of hospital, so they can evaluate me. so now I have to get blood test for some reason,because of all this-__-
but,
the thing is, even when I do eat I am dizzy.
mood-frustrated, but happy
that is all for now,
I love you all deeply
your friend
vpk
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