it does not matter,
if we have drifted apart
like the lands split
by a mighty river.
your sorrow makes me shiver
with the coldness
of seeing you hurt
wishing the warmth
of joy would come in
your life,
and the path
of rejoice brings a smile
to your face, and all
the hardship that has made,
your ship
feel like it's sinking,
rises above these troubling waters,
and you will dance,
happily, because happiness
has returned in your way.
so not matter how
far apart we have become
I hope the lilies of life
grow beautifully for you!
Monday, October 31, 2011
I should title these
seeing an old pitcher,
has made me realize,
that what now lies,
between me and my dream,
is an overwhelming scene,
that plays in my mind,
like a song stuck on repeat,
making me feel obsolete,
as the winds of time,
blow away my fragile
mind, and the leftover
dust that remains,
forms a new life,
made of my thoughts,
and I translate them,
from my mind into,
the pen, and from the pen,
onto the sheet of paper,
then like water they vaporise,
into a cloud, that rains,
my thoughts for your eyes,
to see, like a film you watch.
or a book that you read,
that is never to clear,
but the plot is sometimes,
understood, but never,
makes sense, but only,
to the author of the script.
and those who read,
the writings he writes,
interprets them different,
like the author intends!
has made me realize,
that what now lies,
between me and my dream,
is an overwhelming scene,
that plays in my mind,
like a song stuck on repeat,
making me feel obsolete,
as the winds of time,
blow away my fragile
mind, and the leftover
dust that remains,
forms a new life,
made of my thoughts,
and I translate them,
from my mind into,
the pen, and from the pen,
onto the sheet of paper,
then like water they vaporise,
into a cloud, that rains,
my thoughts for your eyes,
to see, like a film you watch.
or a book that you read,
that is never to clear,
but the plot is sometimes,
understood, but never,
makes sense, but only,
to the author of the script.
and those who read,
the writings he writes,
interprets them different,
like the author intends!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Happy Halloween:)
Dear my lovely readers,
Greetings, I hope everything is doing swell, as you are all in my thoughts, and prayers. tomorrow/today is Halloween, and I always liked Halloween, because I like to see what people will dress up as, and the way some people decorate their houses, I remember my mum's husnabd use to decorate our house, before he got sick, and well since he passed away he obviously did not this year, but this was from a few years ago
I wish we would have done the hunted house thing on the inside too. That would have been cool:)
recently on tumblr I been doing a 20 day challenge thing, and it is a 30 day poetry challenge, and I have to say it has taught me I need to improve on my poetry, and it also has made me try new forms of poetry, and I feel I have got better, oh in case you followed me on tumblr, you should know that I lost my old tumblr account, because I forgot my password, because my passwords are always things that make no sense, and I forgot what it was, and I did not use the e-mail address, so I forgot that password, and did not know my question, so I had to make a new one xD I have since then got back into my e-mail address, but got rid of the old tumblt, and kept the new one. add me on the new one:) http://insomnivic.tumblr.com/
I have decided to switch my psychologist, because I felt as if no progress was being made, and all she did was put me on more, and more meds, like I would go see her, she ask how I was, I say the same as I been before (that being depressed) and she say, well OK I am going to put you on these meds now, and it's like wtf why don't you ask me why I am sad, and stuff instead of just sending me on my way, I mean it is your facking job after all. another reason why I am switching is because some of the people that wokr there openly talked about the clients that went there, and for one the psychologist and therapist are not suppose to talk about the patients with the people that work at the desk, and I don't mean in a way were they tell them so, and so cancelled their appointment, but in a way were they tell them what they talked about.
that made me wonder if they were doing the same with me, and being that I have a hard time going there, and trust people to were I can talk to them about certain things, it made me uncomfortable, so a switch was in the cards.
Today, the Vikings won:) and I don't get to say that much any more, but ever since ponder was named the starting QB, it feels like we have a better chance in these games vs when mccrab was are QB sundays felt like a punch in the face by the Big Show.
that is all for now,
I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers, because no matter if you are a friend, or not, my love is like a river that never ends:)
I love you all deeply,
your friend,
VPK
Greetings, I hope everything is doing swell, as you are all in my thoughts, and prayers. tomorrow/today is Halloween, and I always liked Halloween, because I like to see what people will dress up as, and the way some people decorate their houses, I remember my mum's husnabd use to decorate our house, before he got sick, and well since he passed away he obviously did not this year, but this was from a few years ago
I wish we would have done the hunted house thing on the inside too. That would have been cool:)
recently on tumblr I been doing a 20 day challenge thing, and it is a 30 day poetry challenge, and I have to say it has taught me I need to improve on my poetry, and it also has made me try new forms of poetry, and I feel I have got better, oh in case you followed me on tumblr, you should know that I lost my old tumblr account, because I forgot my password, because my passwords are always things that make no sense, and I forgot what it was, and I did not use the e-mail address, so I forgot that password, and did not know my question, so I had to make a new one xD I have since then got back into my e-mail address, but got rid of the old tumblt, and kept the new one. add me on the new one:) http://insomnivic.tumblr.com/
I have decided to switch my psychologist, because I felt as if no progress was being made, and all she did was put me on more, and more meds, like I would go see her, she ask how I was, I say the same as I been before (that being depressed) and she say, well OK I am going to put you on these meds now, and it's like wtf why don't you ask me why I am sad, and stuff instead of just sending me on my way, I mean it is your facking job after all. another reason why I am switching is because some of the people that wokr there openly talked about the clients that went there, and for one the psychologist and therapist are not suppose to talk about the patients with the people that work at the desk, and I don't mean in a way were they tell them so, and so cancelled their appointment, but in a way were they tell them what they talked about.
that made me wonder if they were doing the same with me, and being that I have a hard time going there, and trust people to were I can talk to them about certain things, it made me uncomfortable, so a switch was in the cards.
Today, the Vikings won:) and I don't get to say that much any more, but ever since ponder was named the starting QB, it feels like we have a better chance in these games vs when mccrab was are QB sundays felt like a punch in the face by the Big Show.
that is all for now,
I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers, because no matter if you are a friend, or not, my love is like a river that never ends:)
I love you all deeply,
your friend,
VPK
victor sat in his bedroom
in the darkness of the night
lying on his bed
when a thought was born in his head
as he looked over at the metal cabinet
it has never been opened
by any person from his home
so he jumped up in a flash
nearly falling over the toys
left on the floor
and raced over to be the first,
because he was weird like that
and when he opened the door
he was shocked by what he saw
a ghost of a girl came flotting out
she was only seeable for about 5 seconds
then poof she was gone,
and this was the first ghost
he had ever saw
thus, from that point
he knew ghost existed.
(another one from the tumblr challenge, hated this one)
in the darkness of the night
lying on his bed
when a thought was born in his head
as he looked over at the metal cabinet
it has never been opened
by any person from his home
so he jumped up in a flash
nearly falling over the toys
left on the floor
and raced over to be the first,
because he was weird like that
and when he opened the door
he was shocked by what he saw
a ghost of a girl came flotting out
she was only seeable for about 5 seconds
then poof she was gone,
and this was the first ghost
he had ever saw
thus, from that point
he knew ghost existed.
(another one from the tumblr challenge, hated this one)
A metaphor about writing
my dishes set and soak;
in the water of the sink;
using the dish soap;
to clear away the dirt;
until they are clean;
and they become ready;
to be used to eat off;
but still no matter;
how clean these dishes;
may be in the eyes of others;
I myself will always feel;
they could be more clean;
so back to my sink;
these dishes return;
ready for more water!
in the water of the sink;
using the dish soap;
to clear away the dirt;
until they are clean;
and they become ready;
to be used to eat off;
but still no matter;
how clean these dishes;
may be in the eyes of others;
I myself will always feel;
they could be more clean;
so back to my sink;
these dishes return;
ready for more water!
in life at times it is hard to see,
but now I see everything is my fault,
that everything between us went wrong,
I wish I could resing our song,
but those days have come,
and are now in the past and gone,
and are only that of a memory,
of a time I will always cherish,
and this I want you to know,
from my heart, I apologize.
but now I see everything is my fault,
that everything between us went wrong,
I wish I could resing our song,
but those days have come,
and are now in the past and gone,
and are only that of a memory,
of a time I will always cherish,
and this I want you to know,
from my heart, I apologize.
there is nothing I can say in any which way
today or tomorrow that describes my sorrow
nothing I can write to give you any insight
of what is on my mind, nor can I find
the proper wording non are occurring
so I keep them to myself and hidden like a stealth
so I instead keep them in my head
and they will stay there until I'm dead, never to be said
(from the tumblr challenge)
today or tomorrow that describes my sorrow
nothing I can write to give you any insight
of what is on my mind, nor can I find
the proper wording non are occurring
so I keep them to myself and hidden like a stealth
so I instead keep them in my head
and they will stay there until I'm dead, never to be said
(from the tumblr challenge)
Saturday, October 29, 2011
when I close my eye sockets
my mind goes into a world of lucid
dreams, and takes of like rockets
into outer space, were I'm suited
to explore the wonders of new galaxies
reaching the outer limits of thought
causing me to create new strategies
that make my mind unable to be caught
by the speed of light, or the speed
in which space expands, causing me to awake
and to burn these thoughts into paper like weed
like "Bob was baked like a fucking cake"*
and from the thoughts of my mind with in
a new writing of poetry to begin
*from the book perks of being a wall flower
my mind goes into a world of lucid
dreams, and takes of like rockets
into outer space, were I'm suited
to explore the wonders of new galaxies
reaching the outer limits of thought
causing me to create new strategies
that make my mind unable to be caught
by the speed of light, or the speed
in which space expands, causing me to awake
and to burn these thoughts into paper like weed
like "Bob was baked like a fucking cake"*
and from the thoughts of my mind with in
a new writing of poetry to begin
*from the book perks of being a wall flower
The firing flames from your felt-tip pen
Burns so brilliantly into the paper
It causes souls to fall into a trance
Like the words of a song puts the mind
Into a deep freeze, and your fingerprints
Would be on the master piece like
Graffiti is written on the passing train
From artist that have no name
But who’s work is a world wonder
Like the Taj Mahal driving your name
To be praised, and you to become
Immortal with each stroke of the pen
As each line gives birth to a new light,
A new dark, and a new story
That never ends but lives
Forever
Burns so brilliantly into the paper
It causes souls to fall into a trance
Like the words of a song puts the mind
Into a deep freeze, and your fingerprints
Would be on the master piece like
Graffiti is written on the passing train
From artist that have no name
But who’s work is a world wonder
Like the Taj Mahal driving your name
To be praised, and you to become
Immortal with each stroke of the pen
As each line gives birth to a new light,
A new dark, and a new story
That never ends but lives
Forever
Another one from the tumblr challenge
The bright light of our love
is now one that is dimming
these feeling are hard to let go of
as I am both suffering and swimming
trying to rekindle the flame
that we once had that burned
but things are not the same
and you’re not even concerned
as things between us are dissolved
now our love is in a state of black
and you are not free of being absolved
and when you want me I won’t be running back
because you were nothing but a mistaken faze
and I am free of your iniquity
and a new light is ablaze
and I have achieved a new sovereignty!
The bright light of our love
is now one that is dimming
these feeling are hard to let go of
as I am both suffering and swimming
trying to rekindle the flame
that we once had that burned
but things are not the same
and you’re not even concerned
as things between us are dissolved
now our love is in a state of black
and you are not free of being absolved
and when you want me I won’t be running back
because you were nothing but a mistaken faze
and I am free of your iniquity
and a new light is ablaze
and I have achieved a new sovereignty!
from the tumblr challage that had to be a poem kids would like
Kim was an ant that
lived the suite life
in the state of hannah montana
were the day would be so random
because the a.n.t farm would
shake it up with weather
reports that lied, saying
it would be sonny with a
chance, but she still felt
Victorious and never
fell for the Fish Hooks
thrown by spongebob, whom
got goofy with a rat
that cooked Ratatouille, people
called them the rugrats,
but kim was too smart
and was all grown up
and would not let
her life get Tangled
up and raced cars
and got a Big time Rush
and that is a bug’s life
Kim was an ant that
lived the suite life
in the state of hannah montana
were the day would be so random
because the a.n.t farm would
shake it up with weather
reports that lied, saying
it would be sonny with a
chance, but she still felt
Victorious and never
fell for the Fish Hooks
thrown by spongebob, whom
got goofy with a rat
that cooked Ratatouille, people
called them the rugrats,
but kim was too smart
and was all grown up
and would not let
her life get Tangled
up and raced cars
and got a Big time Rush
and that is a bug’s life
Friday, October 28, 2011
umm
Dear my lovely readers,
so this is the seconds time this week my blood sugar level has been low, low is anything under 95, although that some doctors have told me 100, and 80, but any how the first time was 69 (insert joke here) and today 59. oddly I know when it is low, by how cold I get, and because sweat, and know I need orange juice, which by the way is not as good as orange drink, in fact no juice is better than its fake intimater, which by the way is made the following way, colour of the fruit, sugar, water, but let's get back to what I was talking about, this is weird, because eI never have a problem with it going low, only once in a while, but twice in one week, and it is not like I have not been eating carbs (carbs break down as sugar in your body), so it is just kind of confusing. which makes me realize I need to go food shopping, and I also want pop tarts right now
you know I am sitting here eating sunflower seeds, and I just realized something, they are good, but unless they are the unshelled ones, they kind of are pointless, in fact, all things with shells are pointless, I mean why just not make everything shellless, and seeddless
.
random fact, did you know a word becomes an official word when it is used three different times in three different publication, so let's say an author comes up with a word called shimeko, and it means the study of people afraid to look both way while crossing the street, then a music artist has a part in a song that goes like this "she was shimeko" then a newspaper writer for the new york times writes how there is no known cure for shimeko, bam it is now a word.
Halloween is coming up, be sure to dress up, and go trick, or treating, but really just treating, no one wants a trick, they want candy, and no one wants the following: candy that sucks, fruit and pennies, anything that is not good candy.
I have no idea where I was going with this blog, and I honestly don't care, because it does not matter what map you use as long as you get there, which brings me up a question for people
does grammar really matter if the story got its point across, and is understood, because what if a story has perfect grammar, but is not understood, then what is the point of the story? do you think someone reading that story will say I have no idea what it was about, but hey the grammar was correct? nope they won't, but they will say, "wow what the fuck (stop acting like you don't swear) I have no idea what that shit was about, that shit was wackers"
ok that is all for now,
I hope the sun shines bright in all your lives, and if things are going bad they get better, and if they are going good, they stay good,
I love you all deeply
your friend,
VPK
so this is the seconds time this week my blood sugar level has been low, low is anything under 95, although that some doctors have told me 100, and 80, but any how the first time was 69 (insert joke here) and today 59. oddly I know when it is low, by how cold I get, and because sweat, and know I need orange juice, which by the way is not as good as orange drink, in fact no juice is better than its fake intimater, which by the way is made the following way, colour of the fruit, sugar, water, but let's get back to what I was talking about, this is weird, because eI never have a problem with it going low, only once in a while, but twice in one week, and it is not like I have not been eating carbs (carbs break down as sugar in your body), so it is just kind of confusing. which makes me realize I need to go food shopping, and I also want pop tarts right now
you know I am sitting here eating sunflower seeds, and I just realized something, they are good, but unless they are the unshelled ones, they kind of are pointless, in fact, all things with shells are pointless, I mean why just not make everything shellless, and seeddless
.
random fact, did you know a word becomes an official word when it is used three different times in three different publication, so let's say an author comes up with a word called shimeko, and it means the study of people afraid to look both way while crossing the street, then a music artist has a part in a song that goes like this "she was shimeko" then a newspaper writer for the new york times writes how there is no known cure for shimeko, bam it is now a word.
Halloween is coming up, be sure to dress up, and go trick, or treating, but really just treating, no one wants a trick, they want candy, and no one wants the following: candy that sucks, fruit and pennies, anything that is not good candy.
I have no idea where I was going with this blog, and I honestly don't care, because it does not matter what map you use as long as you get there, which brings me up a question for people
does grammar really matter if the story got its point across, and is understood, because what if a story has perfect grammar, but is not understood, then what is the point of the story? do you think someone reading that story will say I have no idea what it was about, but hey the grammar was correct? nope they won't, but they will say, "wow what the fuck (stop acting like you don't swear) I have no idea what that shit was about, that shit was wackers"
ok that is all for now,
I hope the sun shines bright in all your lives, and if things are going bad they get better, and if they are going good, they stay good,
I love you all deeply
your friend,
VPK
Morbialistic
the passing thoughts
that come after death
like flies on the flesh
cause weeping from the eyes
but no one care about me
as I sit her and die alone
waiting for bacteria
to deteriorate my bones
back into dust
until I am no more
just a passing memory
that soon will be forgot
say what you want
nothing can be said
that will stop this poisoning
I let spread
and soon my flesh
will be gone so
nothing is left
but my soul to
be tormented
so I guess I
can't win even after
death
that come after death
like flies on the flesh
cause weeping from the eyes
but no one care about me
as I sit her and die alone
waiting for bacteria
to deteriorate my bones
back into dust
until I am no more
just a passing memory
that soon will be forgot
say what you want
nothing can be said
that will stop this poisoning
I let spread
and soon my flesh
will be gone so
nothing is left
but my soul to
be tormented
so I guess I
can't win even after
death
Sensational as the sound of rain
Outstanding like the feeling of love
Pretty like the sun set
Heavenly like an angel
Intoxicating with beauty
Amazing like a shooting star
Marvellous like two swans
Youthful as new song
Fabulous like the roses
Reliable like water is wet
Important like the heat in the winter
Exceptional as a gentle breeze
Nice as a smile
Dynamic as a kiss
Outstanding like the feeling of love
Pretty like the sun set
Heavenly like an angel
Intoxicating with beauty
Amazing like a shooting star
Marvellous like two swans
Youthful as new song
Fabulous like the roses
Reliable like water is wet
Important like the heat in the winter
Exceptional as a gentle breeze
Nice as a smile
Dynamic as a kiss
Thursday, October 27, 2011
my poetry is really wack
like stepping on a thumb tack
I really don't know it
but I am no poet
but just = a poor writer
like glass Joe is a poor fighter
if I wrote a poetry book
people would feel like a fish
after it bites the hook
and they would really wish
I never had picked up a pen
with my poor writing i offend
everyone that reads
my work like weeds
offend a garden bed
and wish my pen go dead!
like stepping on a thumb tack
I really don't know it
but I am no poet
but just = a poor writer
like glass Joe is a poor fighter
if I wrote a poetry book
people would feel like a fish
after it bites the hook
and they would really wish
I never had picked up a pen
with my poor writing i offend
everyone that reads
my work like weeds
offend a garden bed
and wish my pen go dead!
The dimming of light
made my eyes lack sight
and my mind began glooming
and my demise was looming
the dark I want to elude
but my thoughts were subdued
I was in need of serious guidance
but kept findin' my self subsidence
from the light that was departed
but then a spark suddenly started
a new light of hope began to arise
and my mind had started to revise
away from the darkness of yearning
my own death, but now I was returning
to my happiness as my life began to illume
and now I no longer seek my self doom
but instead let the flowers of hope bloom!
made my eyes lack sight
and my mind began glooming
and my demise was looming
the dark I want to elude
but my thoughts were subdued
I was in need of serious guidance
but kept findin' my self subsidence
from the light that was departed
but then a spark suddenly started
a new light of hope began to arise
and my mind had started to revise
away from the darkness of yearning
my own death, but now I was returning
to my happiness as my life began to illume
and now I no longer seek my self doom
but instead let the flowers of hope bloom!
The Rich, and Poor
Dear my lovely readers,
In this world, there are the rich, poor and the middle class, but in reality middle class is really people that are less poorer than people that are extremely poor, and a term to make them feel better about their self, so their is only the rich and the poor. the Rich will go to a restaurant, order a steak dinner for a $1,000 a bottle of wine for $5,000, and not even eat the whole thing, and take it home to their dog, mean while a poor person does not even make that much in a month, and looks at spending like that as crazy.
In other words,
the struggle of a failing economy is really only felt by the poor, and the rich 1% really don't feel the effect, but this is the design of they system. and the system is designed to keep the rich people rich, and the poor people poor, and is the American dream illusion.
but wait, the poor can get a good education, and a good job, and become rich though,
BULLSHIT!
OK, sometimes it happens, but let's look at the average person that is poor that goes to college, or a university. their family can not afford to send their child to college, so that person has to take out a loan, and in case you don't know how loans work you end up paying way more than you borrowed, and those loans are given by banks, those banks are ran by the rich, so after that student finishes college, and gets his, or her's degree they end up having to pay back that loan, and putting more money in the pockets of the rich, and it takes years to pay off these loans, unless you become a teacher, because teachers do not have to pay back loans, but ironically teachers get paid shit(even thought they have one of the most important job in the world) so you make little money, so most people these days choose other fields of work.
The gap between the rich and the poor gets wider by the day, and until the poor people of the United States open their eyes, and see that the American Dream is a tool designed to keep them poor, and the term middle class is just a way of dividing the poor, so they won't unite the gap will continue to grow wider, and the rich will continue to control the world, and the poor, but this is not just for the United States, but every country of the world!
thank you for your time
I love you all deeply,
your friend,
VPK
In this world, there are the rich, poor and the middle class, but in reality middle class is really people that are less poorer than people that are extremely poor, and a term to make them feel better about their self, so their is only the rich and the poor. the Rich will go to a restaurant, order a steak dinner for a $1,000 a bottle of wine for $5,000, and not even eat the whole thing, and take it home to their dog, mean while a poor person does not even make that much in a month, and looks at spending like that as crazy.
In other words,
the struggle of a failing economy is really only felt by the poor, and the rich 1% really don't feel the effect, but this is the design of they system. and the system is designed to keep the rich people rich, and the poor people poor, and is the American dream illusion.
but wait, the poor can get a good education, and a good job, and become rich though,
BULLSHIT!
OK, sometimes it happens, but let's look at the average person that is poor that goes to college, or a university. their family can not afford to send their child to college, so that person has to take out a loan, and in case you don't know how loans work you end up paying way more than you borrowed, and those loans are given by banks, those banks are ran by the rich, so after that student finishes college, and gets his, or her's degree they end up having to pay back that loan, and putting more money in the pockets of the rich, and it takes years to pay off these loans, unless you become a teacher, because teachers do not have to pay back loans, but ironically teachers get paid shit(even thought they have one of the most important job in the world) so you make little money, so most people these days choose other fields of work.
The gap between the rich and the poor gets wider by the day, and until the poor people of the United States open their eyes, and see that the American Dream is a tool designed to keep them poor, and the term middle class is just a way of dividing the poor, so they won't unite the gap will continue to grow wider, and the rich will continue to control the world, and the poor, but this is not just for the United States, but every country of the world!
thank you for your time
I love you all deeply,
your friend,
VPK
Natural in beauty,
Incredible and caring,
Nurturing like the sun,
Astonishing like poetry,
Magnificent like a daisy
Yearly a good friend
Fantastic like a good feeling
Righteous in the heart
Intelligent like king Solomon
Elegant as the moonlit
Nice as the smell of baking pie
Delightful more than any poem's words!
Incredible and caring,
Nurturing like the sun,
Astonishing like poetry,
Magnificent like a daisy
Yearly a good friend
Fantastic like a good feeling
Righteous in the heart
Intelligent like king Solomon
Elegant as the moonlit
Nice as the smell of baking pie
Delightful more than any poem's words!
such a joy in your eyes,
like the stars of space,
your smile warms my heart,
like the heat of a fireplace,
you are an amazing friend,
like the sight of fawns,
dancing in the plains,
I'm happy that I know you,
like the flowers are happy,
that they know the rain,
knowing you is a reason to smile,
thank you, from one heart to another!
like the stars of space,
your smile warms my heart,
like the heat of a fireplace,
you are an amazing friend,
like the sight of fawns,
dancing in the plains,
I'm happy that I know you,
like the flowers are happy,
that they know the rain,
knowing you is a reason to smile,
thank you, from one heart to another!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
tired, but my eyes
will not close,
waiting to see,
what path I have chose,
either I'm going to
be the death,
or face death,
either way no life
is in my bones,
dried up rotten,
waiting for them,
to take my remains,
waiting for the Holy Ghost,
to cut me open, and remove,
these useless thoughts, this,
cursed soul, I am not alive,
I died when I was young,
what you see now,
is the curse I have become,
I only want to die,
for that simple reason,
please Holy Most High.
save me from my worst enemy,
my very own self,
Yahshua please, remove,
this sickness of my soul,
I don't want to end up in,
the burning pits of hell,
nor do I want this life,
just show me the path,
a light in my darkness,
I don't want to die,
but I can't stand,
living in this world,
take me to yours,
let me rest my head,
on your fathers feet,
so my soul can,
finally be at peace!
will not close,
waiting to see,
what path I have chose,
either I'm going to
be the death,
or face death,
either way no life
is in my bones,
dried up rotten,
waiting for them,
to take my remains,
waiting for the Holy Ghost,
to cut me open, and remove,
these useless thoughts, this,
cursed soul, I am not alive,
I died when I was young,
what you see now,
is the curse I have become,
I only want to die,
for that simple reason,
please Holy Most High.
save me from my worst enemy,
my very own self,
Yahshua please, remove,
this sickness of my soul,
I don't want to end up in,
the burning pits of hell,
nor do I want this life,
just show me the path,
a light in my darkness,
I don't want to die,
but I can't stand,
living in this world,
take me to yours,
let me rest my head,
on your fathers feet,
so my soul can,
finally be at peace!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
I knew a girl named lily
that thought talkin' bout a waffle
was really silly
so she said she loved the awful
cereal called weetabix
which taste like sticks
so now she aint in the crew that's cool
and insted eats cereal that tast like stool
many say it was cuz a sam
that has her mind porked like ham
poor lily is in club wackers
and this closes the chapter
(please note this is a joke between a friend, and I)
that thought talkin' bout a waffle
was really silly
so she said she loved the awful
cereal called weetabix
which taste like sticks
so now she aint in the crew that's cool
and insted eats cereal that tast like stool
many say it was cuz a sam
that has her mind porked like ham
poor lily is in club wackers
and this closes the chapter
(please note this is a joke between a friend, and I)
I like to watchfully gaze
at the passing sun with my eyes
and remember the good old days
but even the beautiful star dies
as its time passes and succumbs
passing memories are what I wish
my mind was able to stay from
like A passing shadow
that fades away in the Atlantic
Deep in the waters that's not shallow
I drown in a world of sycophantic
beings being lead astray
into a world of decay
In these feelings I can't swim
and the dark eclipse
make my view turn grim
this was not the scripts
my life was to be written by
but everything changes
and I ask myself why?
but as long as the sun will rise
and my head can rest as it lies
on the feeling life is worth
the suffering and living
then up I am never giving
even the fly has its purpose
even if we can't see it in the mist
I am happy I exist
at the passing sun with my eyes
and remember the good old days
but even the beautiful star dies
as its time passes and succumbs
passing memories are what I wish
my mind was able to stay from
like A passing shadow
that fades away in the Atlantic
Deep in the waters that's not shallow
I drown in a world of sycophantic
beings being lead astray
into a world of decay
In these feelings I can't swim
and the dark eclipse
make my view turn grim
this was not the scripts
my life was to be written by
but everything changes
and I ask myself why?
but as long as the sun will rise
and my head can rest as it lies
on the feeling life is worth
the suffering and living
then up I am never giving
even the fly has its purpose
even if we can't see it in the mist
I am happy I exist
Monday, October 24, 2011
A girl looks in the mirror,
but hates the person,
she sees in the refection,
since life is gettin' worsen,
she cuts like shearer,
with no detection,
how can you see the abuse?
she is mentally,
sick of makin' an excuse,
but incidentally,
is afraid to tell the truth,
so conversations,
like people on train stations,
always seem to switch,
she fell for the wrong sales pitch,
of a good charmer,
but the only thing he did,
was beat and harm her,
she wise she could have redid,
meeting the abuser,
so she stays away from all,
and puts up a blocking wall,
she is dead inside,
but she will forever hide,
she passes away,
every single living day,
all because she fell for the wrong,
of a devils song,
she wishes someone will save,
her from this torcherous grave,
but death is her only hope,
so on her neck she places,
a long yellow rope,
and she embraces,
and is commending,
her sad life's ending.
but hates the person,
she sees in the refection,
since life is gettin' worsen,
she cuts like shearer,
with no detection,
how can you see the abuse?
she is mentally,
sick of makin' an excuse,
but incidentally,
is afraid to tell the truth,
so conversations,
like people on train stations,
always seem to switch,
she fell for the wrong sales pitch,
of a good charmer,
but the only thing he did,
was beat and harm her,
she wise she could have redid,
meeting the abuser,
so she stays away from all,
and puts up a blocking wall,
she is dead inside,
but she will forever hide,
she passes away,
every single living day,
all because she fell for the wrong,
of a devils song,
she wishes someone will save,
her from this torcherous grave,
but death is her only hope,
so on her neck she places,
a long yellow rope,
and she embraces,
and is commending,
her sad life's ending.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
The Bird
The bird tried to be like others,
but he failed miserably,
so now their judgement smothers,
him, as their bow constantly,
shots the most wicked arrow,
piecing the wings of the sparrow,
he falls among the flower bud.
from out his hope leaks his blood,
and tears all over the meadow,
chocking out the rose petal,
as the flower dies and it withers,
away, but the bird takes flight,
and flies deep into the moon light,
until the next arrow is again shot,
sending him to his daily resting spot,
but he failed miserably,
so now their judgement smothers,
him, as their bow constantly,
shots the most wicked arrow,
piecing the wings of the sparrow,
he falls among the flower bud.
from out his hope leaks his blood,
and tears all over the meadow,
chocking out the rose petal,
as the flower dies and it withers,
away, but the bird takes flight,
and flies deep into the moon light,
until the next arrow is again shot,
sending him to his daily resting spot,
Friday, October 21, 2011
friend
forever I love, and
Rely on you, to keep me
intact, I hope we never
end, because life would
not be the same without the
dream, of you in my day♥
Rely on you, to keep me
intact, I hope we never
end, because life would
not be the same without the
dream, of you in my day♥
my mind has been broken,
by my own words spoken--
a victim of self oppression;
cut deep by the sword of depression,
like an author with no pen:
the story of my joy can not begin_
to even be dreamed of being wrote,
so I sign my name in the death note"
and for my life to come to a fin>
trapping myself in the lions den,
waiting for the bite from sorrow's jaws,
or to be ripped apart by the claws,
and slowly my mind cries as it dies{
and becomes nothing but a meal for flies]
maybe my mind is lost in the milky,
and for everything I do: I feel guilty,
as my light can not escape my black bile hole;
that consumes my melancholy empty soul}
this is the person in which I have become[
and this is the hell I wish to escape from!
by my own words spoken--
a victim of self oppression;
cut deep by the sword of depression,
like an author with no pen:
the story of my joy can not begin_
to even be dreamed of being wrote,
so I sign my name in the death note"
and for my life to come to a fin>
trapping myself in the lions den,
waiting for the bite from sorrow's jaws,
or to be ripped apart by the claws,
and slowly my mind cries as it dies{
and becomes nothing but a meal for flies]
maybe my mind is lost in the milky,
and for everything I do: I feel guilty,
as my light can not escape my black bile hole;
that consumes my melancholy empty soul}
this is the person in which I have become[
and this is the hell I wish to escape from!
Thursday, October 20, 2011
falsehood
you are like a drug
how you made me feel
really good, and amazing
everyday you I was taking
thinking we had a bond
but it turned out
while I was caring
you were cold bloodily mocking
me while I was dying
when you needed a hand
I gave you mine every time
but when I needed one, you smiled,
but behind my back you mad fun
and now I wonder
was this all pretend?
don't you know that
false things most perish
believing them will have its consequence
but hey that's OK
don't take my word
maybe you should ask
others what has occurred
but no don't do that
continue to fall for
the cheese on the trap
you were just fooled
and not very wise
you say how am I wise?
saying I am one of the stupidest guys
mocking all that I say
but this was a game I play
don't you know I do it on purpose
to see the true you under the surface
I hear about all that your against
but you been doing the same thing since
the sperm and eggs were mixed
so while you say
not to throw stones
you been beating people
with words and sticks
so because of you
I know to watch
those people that will
smile in your face
because in your back
their knife they will place
how you made me feel
really good, and amazing
everyday you I was taking
thinking we had a bond
but it turned out
while I was caring
you were cold bloodily mocking
me while I was dying
when you needed a hand
I gave you mine every time
but when I needed one, you smiled,
but behind my back you mad fun
and now I wonder
was this all pretend?
don't you know that
false things most perish
believing them will have its consequence
but hey that's OK
don't take my word
maybe you should ask
others what has occurred
but no don't do that
continue to fall for
the cheese on the trap
you were just fooled
and not very wise
you say how am I wise?
saying I am one of the stupidest guys
mocking all that I say
but this was a game I play
don't you know I do it on purpose
to see the true you under the surface
I hear about all that your against
but you been doing the same thing since
the sperm and eggs were mixed
so while you say
not to throw stones
you been beating people
with words and sticks
so because of you
I know to watch
those people that will
smile in your face
because in your back
their knife they will place
an angel whom has no wings
cries for the death of the kings
the only thing left after her tear
drops from her bloody eyes
is the left over humans
a walking living meal for the flies
they scream for one last supper
before they fall deep in their mother
earth, she tries to give them water
for the dry desert's thirst
but the broken sons, and daughters
can't open their lips to taste a drop
now they lay lonely at the cemetery
waiting for someone to come bury
their lonely soul in a grave
or one that will save
them from death's call
but the shovels digging in the raw
earth, preparing a plot
to call their final resting spot
All the angel can do is weep
as those left over fall deep
into the darkest pits of hell
and live in a shell
of all that they have knew
but that is the life that awaits
the non chosen few
cries for the death of the kings
the only thing left after her tear
drops from her bloody eyes
is the left over humans
a walking living meal for the flies
they scream for one last supper
before they fall deep in their mother
earth, she tries to give them water
for the dry desert's thirst
but the broken sons, and daughters
can't open their lips to taste a drop
now they lay lonely at the cemetery
waiting for someone to come bury
their lonely soul in a grave
or one that will save
them from death's call
but the shovels digging in the raw
earth, preparing a plot
to call their final resting spot
All the angel can do is weep
as those left over fall deep
into the darkest pits of hell
and live in a shell
of all that they have knew
but that is the life that awaits
the non chosen few
random names
there was girl named Olivia that drove the people wilde, by the way she would sing Brenda's song, but she owed too much to tyra banks,and was deep in johnny's depp
and was in need for johnny's cash. knowing that she was stuck between a hard place. and a rock, and did not want to fall into brad's pitt. she filled up her lily cooper with enough vin diesel, and she turned to a life of crime and stealing
in the city of Christopher Columbus, but the cops were onto her like
Michael J.'s Fox, and she was not taylor swift to stay out of tiger's woods
and during Lucille's Ball tried to steal Neil's Diamond, but was caught and tried to usain bolt to a Harrison Ford, but Brittany threw one of her spears and popped a tired, she tired, pleading with the lady but she was having none of her Gaga, and was sent to the big House where she was chris browned, she got out in Imelda's May and begin to go to eric's church in the state of George Washington and even stopped eating Kevin's bacon, but her life seemed to only have one direction. she started selling alicia keys of betty white, instead of getting Steve jobs, and her money started to grow notorious B.I.G like korn in kim's field, but one day in linkin's park while standing by Edgar Allen's Poe she was shot. she stumbled and fell in front of Amy's winehouse, located on cody's rhodes, a looker on who was eating strawburries, and playing a game of jenna marbles called for help, his fat friend dropped his eminems, doctor louis armstronged his way through the crowd, and tried to save her life, but now the undertaker awaits to bury her, and she shall never rise again like Beth's Phoenix.
and was in need for johnny's cash. knowing that she was stuck between a hard place. and a rock, and did not want to fall into brad's pitt. she filled up her lily cooper with enough vin diesel, and she turned to a life of crime and stealing
in the city of Christopher Columbus, but the cops were onto her like
Michael J.'s Fox, and she was not taylor swift to stay out of tiger's woods
and during Lucille's Ball tried to steal Neil's Diamond, but was caught and tried to usain bolt to a Harrison Ford, but Brittany threw one of her spears and popped a tired, she tired, pleading with the lady but she was having none of her Gaga, and was sent to the big House where she was chris browned, she got out in Imelda's May and begin to go to eric's church in the state of George Washington and even stopped eating Kevin's bacon, but her life seemed to only have one direction. she started selling alicia keys of betty white, instead of getting Steve jobs, and her money started to grow notorious B.I.G like korn in kim's field, but one day in linkin's park while standing by Edgar Allen's Poe she was shot. she stumbled and fell in front of Amy's winehouse, located on cody's rhodes, a looker on who was eating strawburries, and playing a game of jenna marbles called for help, his fat friend dropped his eminems, doctor louis armstronged his way through the crowd, and tried to save her life, but now the undertaker awaits to bury her, and she shall never rise again like Beth's Phoenix.
the Good, the Bad, and the Whoa
Dear my lovely readers,
things have been interesting non the less
The Good news
My grandfather is coming home today, and the heart doctor even told him for a 92 year old man, he is in great health. all he has to do is take b12 shots I guess, but we are all happy he is going to be coming home:)
The Bad
My brother, whom is on parole and has to wear an ankle bracelet, so they know where he is at all times, yesterday said fuck it, took it off, and fled to who knows where, so now he is a fugitive on the run. he has been in prison most his life since he was 18, and besides a few years of being out he is use to it, and it is sad that he will be going back.:(
Whoa
yesterday I actually fell asleep early yesterday, and by early I don't mean 3 in the A.M but I was asleep before 10 pm I think, and I did not wake up until 11 A.M the next day. most days I go to bed at 7 in the A.M and I'm back up at 10ish in the A.M
there is not much I really want to say, and I really don't like making blogs in the afternoon, but rather the night, because my mind is more clear, and my thoughts more deeper (sometimes)
so that is all for now,
I love you all deeply, and pray for the best for you all
your friend,
VPK
things have been interesting non the less
The Good news
My grandfather is coming home today, and the heart doctor even told him for a 92 year old man, he is in great health. all he has to do is take b12 shots I guess, but we are all happy he is going to be coming home:)
The Bad
My brother, whom is on parole and has to wear an ankle bracelet, so they know where he is at all times, yesterday said fuck it, took it off, and fled to who knows where, so now he is a fugitive on the run. he has been in prison most his life since he was 18, and besides a few years of being out he is use to it, and it is sad that he will be going back.:(
Whoa
yesterday I actually fell asleep early yesterday, and by early I don't mean 3 in the A.M but I was asleep before 10 pm I think, and I did not wake up until 11 A.M the next day. most days I go to bed at 7 in the A.M and I'm back up at 10ish in the A.M
there is not much I really want to say, and I really don't like making blogs in the afternoon, but rather the night, because my mind is more clear, and my thoughts more deeper (sometimes)
so that is all for now,
I love you all deeply, and pray for the best for you all
your friend,
VPK
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
because sleep is something I don't do
Dear my lovely Readers,
again I am stuck trying to fall to sleep, but can not, because I have a lot on my mind, and as always it keeps me from sleeping, first off my grandfather is in the hospital, because yesterday morning we got the call that he could not breath, so we took him, and they kept him over night, and he might be able to go home, my sister is going to stay with my grandma until then, because we don't want to leave her by her self seeing how is is in her 90's.
you know it is ironic, but most people hate hospitals, but I realized now hospitals are the only place I sleep at, because ever time I am there, I am able to sleep(not counting when they wake you up to do the nightly test). I don't know maybe it is the fact they pumped me full of dilaudid, maybe it's the fact they have me on extra meds there, I really don't know, but when I am in the hospital I am able to sleep, in fact that is all I want to do there.
I want to take this time out of my life to say to everyone that feels that in some way, shape or form I have wronged them, I am very sorry, I don't care about if I was wrong, or not, or if it is even worth saying I;m sorry for, but I am going to say it anyway, because I don't want to go through life never saying I am sorry to you, and maybe I was not wrong in my eyes, but in yours I was, so again I am sorry, I just hope you forgive me, and I accept all ssorries too, and I forgive everyone, because life can end in a flash, and is not worth holding anger against someone, especially if it is something small, or you don't even remember the reason(s) why you were upset with that person.
so I have decided to give my current psychologist a few more turns, and if nothing comes of it, I won't give up, and stop going, but I will just switch to another one. I want is for someone to talk to about the things that make me this way, not to be drugged up. for that I can go back to smoking weed again, at least then I was high, and in a good mood (when I was high)
If you believes in a Deity(s) please pray for my me, and my family, but if not please keep us in your thoughts, and I will do the same for you <3
I love you all very deeply,
your friend
VPK
again I am stuck trying to fall to sleep, but can not, because I have a lot on my mind, and as always it keeps me from sleeping, first off my grandfather is in the hospital, because yesterday morning we got the call that he could not breath, so we took him, and they kept him over night, and he might be able to go home, my sister is going to stay with my grandma until then, because we don't want to leave her by her self seeing how is is in her 90's.
you know it is ironic, but most people hate hospitals, but I realized now hospitals are the only place I sleep at, because ever time I am there, I am able to sleep(not counting when they wake you up to do the nightly test). I don't know maybe it is the fact they pumped me full of dilaudid, maybe it's the fact they have me on extra meds there, I really don't know, but when I am in the hospital I am able to sleep, in fact that is all I want to do there.
I want to take this time out of my life to say to everyone that feels that in some way, shape or form I have wronged them, I am very sorry, I don't care about if I was wrong, or not, or if it is even worth saying I;m sorry for, but I am going to say it anyway, because I don't want to go through life never saying I am sorry to you, and maybe I was not wrong in my eyes, but in yours I was, so again I am sorry, I just hope you forgive me, and I accept all ssorries too, and I forgive everyone, because life can end in a flash, and is not worth holding anger against someone, especially if it is something small, or you don't even remember the reason(s) why you were upset with that person.
so I have decided to give my current psychologist a few more turns, and if nothing comes of it, I won't give up, and stop going, but I will just switch to another one. I want is for someone to talk to about the things that make me this way, not to be drugged up. for that I can go back to smoking weed again, at least then I was high, and in a good mood (when I was high)
If you believes in a Deity(s) please pray for my me, and my family, but if not please keep us in your thoughts, and I will do the same for you <3
I love you all very deeply,
your friend
VPK
my happiness dies, and is reborn
like a cloud of a storm
that appears to be gone,
but then it will reform
it is like trying to grab
the rose only to be pricked
by the ugliness of the thorn
or being stung by its bee
but still you always try to be
able to smell the sweet sent
and always love when they are present
so you welcome the stinger, and the rain
and all the thorns with the rose bush
and continue to always push
for those times when no matter the trail
no saddness can ever make you not smile
like a cloud of a storm
that appears to be gone,
but then it will reform
it is like trying to grab
the rose only to be pricked
by the ugliness of the thorn
or being stung by its bee
but still you always try to be
able to smell the sweet sent
and always love when they are present
so you welcome the stinger, and the rain
and all the thorns with the rose bush
and continue to always push
for those times when no matter the trail
no saddness can ever make you not smile
my mind is a sublime
city built in dreams
where the nightmares schemes
to steal away joy like crime
and no matter how many times
they are arrested and in court
the sentence is one that is short
lived, like the life of a mayfly
and the people ask me why?
why I would even make wine
from such a rotten grapevine
and let this cup over flow
like Noah's ark rain minus
the beautiful rainbow
that should come after
the scream in anger how
I cover the tears with laughter
they yell I am so night and day
and every word that I say
to other people, being caring
I need to start sharing
with my own self, but instead
I only let the poison spread
until I am in intensive care
I stand unaware
I put my self here
until the flowers fall over me
like the sun over the sea
but then a moment will come
and my joy is resurrected
and I realize I was being dumb
and my sickness is disinfected
city built in dreams
where the nightmares schemes
to steal away joy like crime
and no matter how many times
they are arrested and in court
the sentence is one that is short
lived, like the life of a mayfly
and the people ask me why?
why I would even make wine
from such a rotten grapevine
and let this cup over flow
like Noah's ark rain minus
the beautiful rainbow
that should come after
the scream in anger how
I cover the tears with laughter
they yell I am so night and day
and every word that I say
to other people, being caring
I need to start sharing
with my own self, but instead
I only let the poison spread
until I am in intensive care
I stand unaware
I put my self here
until the flowers fall over me
like the sun over the sea
but then a moment will come
and my joy is resurrected
and I realize I was being dumb
and my sickness is disinfected
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Take America Back to Jesus?
it is late, and I am not tired what so ever, so I a, in deep thought, and I always hear how the united States needs to be taken back to Jesus, but the question I want to know is when did this county have Jesus in the first place? was it when they were pillaging the Native Americans for their land, raping their women, brutalizing their children, forcing them to leave their homes? was it when you made slaves of black people, and forced families to split,brutally beat them, made them feel like animals, counted them as 3/5 of a person, raped their women, and so on? was it when you tried to make black people less of a person by making them go to lesser schools, and even do things like drink out of water fountains that a dog should not drink out of? was it when you locked up Japanese people during world war 2 only because they were Japanese? was it when black people and women had no rights? was it when you left the people from hurricane Katrina to die? when you say taking america back to Jesus, maybe you should ask your self, have we ever had Jesus to begin with? a place that is filled with racism, an evil governments, prejudiced people, and hate for one another, does not sound like one that does, or ever has.
MKB
sometimes I like to Slow Dance
dreaming about The Way You Love Me
and In a Perfect World we Make Love
but this world ain't perfect, and
you only care about Get Your Money Up
and never Gimme What I Want, so I
Lose Control and become Alienated
from All the Boys, because you
played me like a Toy Soldier
only Turnin Me On to
let me down, but I used
my Intuition to realize
that I'm a Pretty Girl Rock
star, and you're nothing but
a Beautiful Mistake, now you
want me back, but I won't
waste my Energy or time
now I ask How Does It Feel
when I Return the Favor
by Knock You Down and
treats you like a cheap
One Night Stand? now your
at your Breaking Point
crying to your father
but you never Tell Him the Truth
of why No Boys Allowed is
a model for my life,
and when people ask about
you and say Where Did He Go?
he ain't allowed in
the Buyou, I say and I smile
because I am a Hustler
because you would Lie to Me
and it never Hurts Me to Do It
but I Like to Scream how
I'm So Good, and Fearless
and it Won't Be Long that
people know The Way I Are
A Pretty Girl Rock star
that everyone says to
I Want You, while you
continue sinking in Quicksand
(please note this is not referring to me in anyway, or anyone, but song titles from Keri Hilson)
dreaming about The Way You Love Me
and In a Perfect World we Make Love
but this world ain't perfect, and
you only care about Get Your Money Up
and never Gimme What I Want, so I
Lose Control and become Alienated
from All the Boys, because you
played me like a Toy Soldier
only Turnin Me On to
let me down, but I used
my Intuition to realize
that I'm a Pretty Girl Rock
star, and you're nothing but
a Beautiful Mistake, now you
want me back, but I won't
waste my Energy or time
now I ask How Does It Feel
when I Return the Favor
by Knock You Down and
treats you like a cheap
One Night Stand? now your
at your Breaking Point
crying to your father
but you never Tell Him the Truth
of why No Boys Allowed is
a model for my life,
and when people ask about
you and say Where Did He Go?
he ain't allowed in
the Buyou, I say and I smile
because I am a Hustler
because you would Lie to Me
and it never Hurts Me to Do It
but I Like to Scream how
I'm So Good, and Fearless
and it Won't Be Long that
people know The Way I Are
A Pretty Girl Rock star
that everyone says to
I Want You, while you
continue sinking in Quicksand
(please note this is not referring to me in anyway, or anyone, but song titles from Keri Hilson)
There is nothing of this world
Dear my lovely readers,
there is nothing I want, but the WORD, and there is nothing worth living for, besides the word, this world has many things it offers, but none what so ever come close to the WORD, The WORD is rich in knowledge, Wisdom and understanding, and those who received it, are blessed, of course many claim to have it, but do not, and use it falsely. The happiest I ever been was when The WORD was in my life, but when it is not, my life always seems like it is falling apart. Maybe some of you are reading this, and mockingly calling me a fool, but that is OK, in your world maybe I am a fool, and I am fine with that as long as you are at peace, your stones are welcomed to be thrown at me, just hope it some how makes the sun brighter in your life, because even if you are my enemy, I still love you no matter how many stones you throw at me, and I hope THE HOLY MOST HIGH sends many blessings to you all<3
love, your friend,
VPK
there is nothing I want, but the WORD, and there is nothing worth living for, besides the word, this world has many things it offers, but none what so ever come close to the WORD, The WORD is rich in knowledge, Wisdom and understanding, and those who received it, are blessed, of course many claim to have it, but do not, and use it falsely. The happiest I ever been was when The WORD was in my life, but when it is not, my life always seems like it is falling apart. Maybe some of you are reading this, and mockingly calling me a fool, but that is OK, in your world maybe I am a fool, and I am fine with that as long as you are at peace, your stones are welcomed to be thrown at me, just hope it some how makes the sun brighter in your life, because even if you are my enemy, I still love you no matter how many stones you throw at me, and I hope THE HOLY MOST HIGH sends many blessings to you all<3
love, your friend,
VPK
There is nothing on this world
Dear my lovely readers,
there is nothing I want, but the WORD, and there is nothing worth living for, besides the word, this world has many things it offers, but none what so ever come close to the WORD, The WORD is rich in knowledge, Wisdom and understanding, and those who received it, are blessed, of course many claim to have it, but do not, and use it falsely. The happiest I ever been was when The WORD was in my life, but when it is not, my life always seems like it is falling apart. Maybe some of you are reading this, and mockingly calling me a fool, but that is OK, in your world maybe I am a fool, and I am fine with that as long as you are at peace, your stones are welcomed to be thrown at me, just hope it some how makes the sun brighter in your life, because even if you are my enemy, I still love you no matter how many stones you throw at me, and I hope THE HOLY MOST HIGH sends many blessings to you all<3
love, your friend,
VPK
there is nothing I want, but the WORD, and there is nothing worth living for, besides the word, this world has many things it offers, but none what so ever come close to the WORD, The WORD is rich in knowledge, Wisdom and understanding, and those who received it, are blessed, of course many claim to have it, but do not, and use it falsely. The happiest I ever been was when The WORD was in my life, but when it is not, my life always seems like it is falling apart. Maybe some of you are reading this, and mockingly calling me a fool, but that is OK, in your world maybe I am a fool, and I am fine with that as long as you are at peace, your stones are welcomed to be thrown at me, just hope it some how makes the sun brighter in your life, because even if you are my enemy, I still love you no matter how many stones you throw at me, and I hope THE HOLY MOST HIGH sends many blessings to you all<3
love, your friend,
VPK
Monday, October 17, 2011
a few thoughts in the late night
Dear my lovely readers,
it is late where I live, and I woke up, and won't be able to get back to sleep, it is a little past the half way mark of October, and this year continues to be one I wish never happened, and I can honestly say I have never wished a year would end so much in my life, or I could do a year over, because if I could I do everything different.
so I watched this video on youtube
and everything he says is true, when you have a learning disability you do try to hide it from everyone, and you do hide the fact you are in special education, because you are embarrassed about it, because most everyone looks down on people in those kind of classes, or people with an LD as dumb, so you yourself look at your own self as dumb, so you do everything to hide it, even people you are more smarter than who are not in special ED. look at you as dumb. the crazy thing is I tried to be a little more open recently with having a learning disability with people, but those same people still called me stupid or dumb, and made fun of me anyway, so it made me not want to be open about myself with anyone, and I have shut myself down to people about everything, and this has caused a set back with 1. my psychologist, because I don't want to see one any more, because I don't feel like talking to anyone about things since I no longer have the trust in people, and 2.since I know longer want to talk about it with anyone I just hold everything inside, and this is killing me, but since I feel I can't talk to anyone I have no other choice, and because of that my depression is just getting worse rather than better. so if someone has a learning disability don't call them stupid, just as you should never call someone that struggles with weight issues fat, and never call anyone ugly (unless it is referring to them on the inside) or any negative thing, because you never know how it will effect a person, especially if you are their friend, because 1.it makes you false, and 2. in a sense makes you a bully.
finally, The Vikings suck this year, and that's all I'm going to say about that, because that rant would take a book to fill -__-
that is all for now,
I love you all very deeply,
your friend,
VPK
it is late where I live, and I woke up, and won't be able to get back to sleep, it is a little past the half way mark of October, and this year continues to be one I wish never happened, and I can honestly say I have never wished a year would end so much in my life, or I could do a year over, because if I could I do everything different.
so I watched this video on youtube
and everything he says is true, when you have a learning disability you do try to hide it from everyone, and you do hide the fact you are in special education, because you are embarrassed about it, because most everyone looks down on people in those kind of classes, or people with an LD as dumb, so you yourself look at your own self as dumb, so you do everything to hide it, even people you are more smarter than who are not in special ED. look at you as dumb. the crazy thing is I tried to be a little more open recently with having a learning disability with people, but those same people still called me stupid or dumb, and made fun of me anyway, so it made me not want to be open about myself with anyone, and I have shut myself down to people about everything, and this has caused a set back with 1. my psychologist, because I don't want to see one any more, because I don't feel like talking to anyone about things since I no longer have the trust in people, and 2.since I know longer want to talk about it with anyone I just hold everything inside, and this is killing me, but since I feel I can't talk to anyone I have no other choice, and because of that my depression is just getting worse rather than better. so if someone has a learning disability don't call them stupid, just as you should never call someone that struggles with weight issues fat, and never call anyone ugly (unless it is referring to them on the inside) or any negative thing, because you never know how it will effect a person, especially if you are their friend, because 1.it makes you false, and 2. in a sense makes you a bully.
finally, The Vikings suck this year, and that's all I'm going to say about that, because that rant would take a book to fill -__-
that is all for now,
I love you all very deeply,
your friend,
VPK
Sunday, October 16, 2011
you took your stones
and threw them at my Bones
and did your best
to hurt, and break my wings
as if I never existed, forgetting
what we had occurred
all because of the word
that the jealous vulture
had built in your head
like the works of a sculpture
but even when worlds collapse
my broken wings heal
and once more flaps
and I take flight
into the sky with delight
so maybe you might
one day see me fly
once more in your sky
but know that I'm Alright
and threw them at my Bones
and did your best
to hurt, and break my wings
as if I never existed, forgetting
what we had occurred
all because of the word
that the jealous vulture
had built in your head
like the works of a sculpture
but even when worlds collapse
my broken wings heal
and once more flaps
and I take flight
into the sky with delight
so maybe you might
one day see me fly
once more in your sky
but know that I'm Alright
Alphabet soup
All Basic Concepts
Developed Entirely From
General Human Ideas,
Justified Knowledge Learned
Makes Nonsense Obsolete
Particular Questions Raised
Shape The Understanding
Victory with X YAHWEH's ZigZag
(not the best, but wanted to try something)
Developed Entirely From
General Human Ideas,
Justified Knowledge Learned
Makes Nonsense Obsolete
Particular Questions Raised
Shape The Understanding
Victory with X YAHWEH's ZigZag
(not the best, but wanted to try something)
Friday, October 14, 2011
my sorrow won't go away
like the sun that rises
it comes back everyday
I wear smiles for disguises
I really hate you life
I am married to depression
she is my bitch of a wife
I see no other way to cope
my lifeless mind with little hope
can't see happiness with a telescope
the sweet dreams die in the
realities's nightmare that is sour
the weed of sorrow chokes away
the happiness of the flower
the sweet taste of the fruit
has now become a taste of rotten
and all the things happy forgotten
like the journey that begins in the womb
and always ends breathless in the tomb
maybe it just has never occurred
I feel this way, because I lack
the love that is the word
like the sun that rises
it comes back everyday
I wear smiles for disguises
I really hate you life
I am married to depression
she is my bitch of a wife
I see no other way to cope
my lifeless mind with little hope
can't see happiness with a telescope
the sweet dreams die in the
realities's nightmare that is sour
the weed of sorrow chokes away
the happiness of the flower
the sweet taste of the fruit
has now become a taste of rotten
and all the things happy forgotten
like the journey that begins in the womb
and always ends breathless in the tomb
maybe it just has never occurred
I feel this way, because I lack
the love that is the word
the weather
Dear my lovely readers,
sometimes in life things are never what you think they are, and what you think is good ends up being bad, like a clear day at first it's beautiful, but you don't notice the storm clouds coming, until you find your self stuck in the rain, I am sick of thinking my life is finally in the sunshine of happiness only to realize I am under the cloud of sorrow as the rains of melancholy pour on me.I wish for once I believed the sun existed, but it rains to much to think that
that is all for now,
I love you all deeply,
your fried,
VPK
sometimes in life things are never what you think they are, and what you think is good ends up being bad, like a clear day at first it's beautiful, but you don't notice the storm clouds coming, until you find your self stuck in the rain, I am sick of thinking my life is finally in the sunshine of happiness only to realize I am under the cloud of sorrow as the rains of melancholy pour on me.I wish for once I believed the sun existed, but it rains to much to think that
that is all for now,
I love you all deeply,
your fried,
VPK
I need no rose that
falls from the garden
just a star to brighten
up my eyes, and to wake
from this dream that
never dies, sleep is
wonderful...so I been
told, by the passing
cold wind that touches
my skin, making me freeze
with in, my lips want one
last dance, as my age begins
to advance, and my wisdom
grows like a seed into a tree
and I move on, and you are lost
forever at the depths of the sea
of life, these waters are deep
and many in life go lost,
forgot, like rain in the desert
just memories, of what was!
falls from the garden
just a star to brighten
up my eyes, and to wake
from this dream that
never dies, sleep is
wonderful...so I been
told, by the passing
cold wind that touches
my skin, making me freeze
with in, my lips want one
last dance, as my age begins
to advance, and my wisdom
grows like a seed into a tree
and I move on, and you are lost
forever at the depths of the sea
of life, these waters are deep
and many in life go lost,
forgot, like rain in the desert
just memories, of what was!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
seeing a psychologist
Dear my lovely readers.
as most of you know I have been seeing a psychologist, and while at first it has been good, I know find it to be pointless, because simply she has yet to ask me why I am sad, or what bothers me, but instead she just puts me on medication as if there is no need to talk about anything, because these meds will make life better, sorry I did not call your office to be put on meds, but I called you, because I am depressed, and want to get help, for that my regular doctor could have put me on the meds, and I could have saved time, do you know how hard it is for me to call someone, and admit I need help with this, or to even talk about it, and by the way, those meds are not working. I hope they are not placebos, because that would be the stupidest thing to give me. then I see a therapist, whom also has not asked me about these things, but asks me about fantasy football, wtf I could go to a bar, a friends house, or any other place to talk about sports, I want to talk about why I hate myself, not who should you start at QB.
what bothers me a lot about being sad is the fact I am sad, because I know people have it a lot worse, and I know some of my friends, and people I know are going through harder times right now, so it makes me feel guilty for being this way when I should be happy, but I can't help it
ohm and so as you also know I take pills for insomnia, hmm it is after 2:30 in the A.M, so I guess those too are not working
sorry for the rant, but just wanted to get this off my thoughts
until next time,
I love you all deeply
your friend,
VPK
as most of you know I have been seeing a psychologist, and while at first it has been good, I know find it to be pointless, because simply she has yet to ask me why I am sad, or what bothers me, but instead she just puts me on medication as if there is no need to talk about anything, because these meds will make life better, sorry I did not call your office to be put on meds, but I called you, because I am depressed, and want to get help, for that my regular doctor could have put me on the meds, and I could have saved time, do you know how hard it is for me to call someone, and admit I need help with this, or to even talk about it, and by the way, those meds are not working. I hope they are not placebos, because that would be the stupidest thing to give me. then I see a therapist, whom also has not asked me about these things, but asks me about fantasy football, wtf I could go to a bar, a friends house, or any other place to talk about sports, I want to talk about why I hate myself, not who should you start at QB.
what bothers me a lot about being sad is the fact I am sad, because I know people have it a lot worse, and I know some of my friends, and people I know are going through harder times right now, so it makes me feel guilty for being this way when I should be happy, but I can't help it
ohm and so as you also know I take pills for insomnia, hmm it is after 2:30 in the A.M, so I guess those too are not working
sorry for the rant, but just wanted to get this off my thoughts
until next time,
I love you all deeply
your friend,
VPK
I don't know any better
any better then these words
these words being wrote in my book
in my book they are not at all right
just as I know death
is not the way out
just as I know snow
hates the burning fire
I hate being this way
this way is all I know
and I know the darkness
is consuming my light
my light that is my soul
my soul suffers and cries
my cries echo my hopes
my hopes everyday dies
from a mind that is broken
but my broken mind tries
to find ways out of hell
from hell I am able to see
that even in the worst, heaven
is always is my arms reach
I reach out from my grave
my grave has not yet been buried
so I am living on the edge
between the living, and dead
in this world of people where
the living wish they were dead
the dead wish they were living
I just wish for the words
to come from your lips
any better then these words
these words being wrote in my book
in my book they are not at all right
just as I know death
is not the way out
just as I know snow
hates the burning fire
I hate being this way
this way is all I know
and I know the darkness
is consuming my light
my light that is my soul
my soul suffers and cries
my cries echo my hopes
my hopes everyday dies
from a mind that is broken
but my broken mind tries
to find ways out of hell
from hell I am able to see
that even in the worst, heaven
is always is my arms reach
I reach out from my grave
my grave has not yet been buried
so I am living on the edge
between the living, and dead
in this world of people where
the living wish they were dead
the dead wish they were living
I just wish for the words
to come from your lips
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
if my heart I can't convince
then my soul I need to rinse
and both of my eyes lens
I need to wash and cleanse
away all the built up dirt
no matter how much the hurt
I know truth from fiction
and in my life I have had
a world filled with conviction
but judge me all you want
you won't be the first
and by far you won't be the worst
I have been buried by friends
and saved by my enemies
therefore, I keep my sword sharp
like a pencil ready for paper
the only difference that exist
is life does not carry an eraser
everything that has been wrote
shall forever have been
then my soul I need to rinse
and both of my eyes lens
I need to wash and cleanse
away all the built up dirt
no matter how much the hurt
I know truth from fiction
and in my life I have had
a world filled with conviction
but judge me all you want
you won't be the first
and by far you won't be the worst
I have been buried by friends
and saved by my enemies
therefore, I keep my sword sharp
like a pencil ready for paper
the only difference that exist
is life does not carry an eraser
everything that has been wrote
shall forever have been
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
I am deep in the wilderness
searching for my path
some days my mind is broke
like shattered glass
the broken pieces everywhere
cut me deeply as I stare
not knowing which direction
my feet shall step
staying awake even when I slept
my dreams, and nightmares coexist
like two lovers when they kiss
but in other days my mind
is fixed, like a childes eyes
gazing at the stars
my mind builds a world of imagination
like an author's pen builds a story
and I am at peace
like a snow flake falling
gently from a cloud
I am in the wilderness
stuck between peace and war
and this will go on
until I exist no more
searching for my path
some days my mind is broke
like shattered glass
the broken pieces everywhere
cut me deeply as I stare
not knowing which direction
my feet shall step
staying awake even when I slept
my dreams, and nightmares coexist
like two lovers when they kiss
but in other days my mind
is fixed, like a childes eyes
gazing at the stars
my mind builds a world of imagination
like an author's pen builds a story
and I am at peace
like a snow flake falling
gently from a cloud
I am in the wilderness
stuck between peace and war
and this will go on
until I exist no more
Monday, October 10, 2011
why, oh why is
this world so cursed
with the worse thing ever
the plague known as humans
the most bloody thirsty creatures
claiming they are so wise
but since they came to be
mother earth only cries
she is filled with their
blood on every part of land
even the waters are not safe
from the wickedness of their hand
the day they came to be is
a day I will curse and hate
but that is the cruelty of fate
a world filled with beauty
and the laws of nature
births the thing that
murders their creator
the day they are no more
is a day of dreams for sure
until then mother earth
will only be in sad and weep
and she will never again sleep
this world so cursed
with the worse thing ever
the plague known as humans
the most bloody thirsty creatures
claiming they are so wise
but since they came to be
mother earth only cries
she is filled with their
blood on every part of land
even the waters are not safe
from the wickedness of their hand
the day they came to be is
a day I will curse and hate
but that is the cruelty of fate
a world filled with beauty
and the laws of nature
births the thing that
murders their creator
the day they are no more
is a day of dreams for sure
until then mother earth
will only be in sad and weep
and she will never again sleep
the world is never what you expect
words spoken can come to you indirect
like the falling leaves of a tree
only believing what we want to see
without his pitcher painted it wouldn't be
faith is only built on your eyes
so in your heart it's a world of lies
of these images people are dependent
blessed are those who believe he's
The Holy Most High's descendant
without ever having to view
any pitcher they know it's true
words spoken can come to you indirect
like the falling leaves of a tree
only believing what we want to see
without his pitcher painted it wouldn't be
faith is only built on your eyes
so in your heart it's a world of lies
of these images people are dependent
blessed are those who believe he's
The Holy Most High's descendant
without ever having to view
any pitcher they know it's true
Sunday, October 9, 2011
humbling
Dear my lovely Readers,
Greetings, and peace I hope all is going well for you, and I hope they are getting better if they are not. in life there are people, friendships, relationships, and other things you think that will be with you for your whole life, but the thing about that is things change, and so does people, friendships, relationships and how everything is, and when they do it does in fact hurt, but it can also humble you to appreciate everything more, because you don't know how long things will last, so you begin to understand that that some things simply will not be there for you forever, so you love things more, and the time you have with people, and stuff becomes more valuable to you.
so remember to value all the friendships you have, and all the things you have, because you never know how long they will last, or how lucky you are to have them until they are gone.
remember this, everything you have has no value on friendship, and family and the people that love you, and nothing in life matters more than love, so never chose something materialistic over that
I will continue to pray for everyone doing bad, good, and in between, and I hope you all do the same for me.
May The Holy Most High Bless you all as many times as there has been people that have ever been born in the existence of the Earth
I love you all very deeply
your friend
VPK
Greetings, and peace I hope all is going well for you, and I hope they are getting better if they are not. in life there are people, friendships, relationships, and other things you think that will be with you for your whole life, but the thing about that is things change, and so does people, friendships, relationships and how everything is, and when they do it does in fact hurt, but it can also humble you to appreciate everything more, because you don't know how long things will last, so you begin to understand that that some things simply will not be there for you forever, so you love things more, and the time you have with people, and stuff becomes more valuable to you.
so remember to value all the friendships you have, and all the things you have, because you never know how long they will last, or how lucky you are to have them until they are gone.
remember this, everything you have has no value on friendship, and family and the people that love you, and nothing in life matters more than love, so never chose something materialistic over that
I will continue to pray for everyone doing bad, good, and in between, and I hope you all do the same for me.
May The Holy Most High Bless you all as many times as there has been people that have ever been born in the existence of the Earth
I love you all very deeply
your friend
VPK
Friday, October 7, 2011
The mirror
Dear my lovely readers,
it is after 3:30 in the morning, and I have figured out that night time is the best time to blog. when you wake up in the morning time, and look in the mirror, do you see the same person when you look at your reflection later that night? at times, yes, but most times, no, because thing happen through out the day that change us to not see the same person, some are life changing, some are small, and over time won't even be a memory worth remembering. at times when we look in the mirror we don't even recognize the person looking back at us, as we at times change, because the influence of others, this can be bad if we let those people make us a worse person than what we are, and let them manipulate us, but good if those people better us. some people are one way for some, yet the opposite for others, some look one way, but are the other way. this is when you must look deep with in your self to see what is right from wrong,
In the universe, you have to try to find peace with everything that exist, but also try to change those things that cause conflict for that bring out the worst of us. moat who read this would agree that war is bad, and peace is a better thing to have, yet we have wars going on all around the world, and the reason for this is, because the method in which we try to find peace is by war, and that simply will not work, it is like with the drug heroin, they give people Methadone to get off H, but the only thing it does is lead them to being addicted to Methadone, in other words, when we fight a war to get peace, it only leads to more conflict.
Speaking of conflict, I sometimes find myself in conflict with myself, because how I want humanity to be is different from how humanity is. I have great compassion for people, even people I just meet, and sometimes I find myself caring about them even when I know the world would tell me not to, because those people probably don't do the same for me, but I lack the ability to not care, so I sacrifice my self knowing the feeling is not the same, sometimes I want to just give up, but in the conflict of self, my compassion will always win even if my soul is broken a million times.
I am going to continue to pray for those of you that are going through rough times in your life, because I worry about you all, and to my Atheist sisters, and brothers, don't look at that, and think, or say "what is he praying to?", but instead look at it, as someone that cares, and is concerned about you, look at it, as a friend that loves you.
Mediation is good for the soul, whether you believe in a God, many Gods, no God, or what ever, you should do it to relax your mind, and rest your soul, simply by having a conversation with your self deep with in your thoughts, and peacefully trying to find solutions to the problems that cause us grief. Remember no one is with out conflict in their life, even the most peacefully person in the world faces dilemmas, the key is to stay positive, caring, and compassionate even when the world wants you to be the opposite way.
that is all for now,
I love you all very deeply
your friend,
VPK
it is after 3:30 in the morning, and I have figured out that night time is the best time to blog. when you wake up in the morning time, and look in the mirror, do you see the same person when you look at your reflection later that night? at times, yes, but most times, no, because thing happen through out the day that change us to not see the same person, some are life changing, some are small, and over time won't even be a memory worth remembering. at times when we look in the mirror we don't even recognize the person looking back at us, as we at times change, because the influence of others, this can be bad if we let those people make us a worse person than what we are, and let them manipulate us, but good if those people better us. some people are one way for some, yet the opposite for others, some look one way, but are the other way. this is when you must look deep with in your self to see what is right from wrong,
In the universe, you have to try to find peace with everything that exist, but also try to change those things that cause conflict for that bring out the worst of us. moat who read this would agree that war is bad, and peace is a better thing to have, yet we have wars going on all around the world, and the reason for this is, because the method in which we try to find peace is by war, and that simply will not work, it is like with the drug heroin, they give people Methadone to get off H, but the only thing it does is lead them to being addicted to Methadone, in other words, when we fight a war to get peace, it only leads to more conflict.
Speaking of conflict, I sometimes find myself in conflict with myself, because how I want humanity to be is different from how humanity is. I have great compassion for people, even people I just meet, and sometimes I find myself caring about them even when I know the world would tell me not to, because those people probably don't do the same for me, but I lack the ability to not care, so I sacrifice my self knowing the feeling is not the same, sometimes I want to just give up, but in the conflict of self, my compassion will always win even if my soul is broken a million times.
I am going to continue to pray for those of you that are going through rough times in your life, because I worry about you all, and to my Atheist sisters, and brothers, don't look at that, and think, or say "what is he praying to?", but instead look at it, as someone that cares, and is concerned about you, look at it, as a friend that loves you.
Mediation is good for the soul, whether you believe in a God, many Gods, no God, or what ever, you should do it to relax your mind, and rest your soul, simply by having a conversation with your self deep with in your thoughts, and peacefully trying to find solutions to the problems that cause us grief. Remember no one is with out conflict in their life, even the most peacefully person in the world faces dilemmas, the key is to stay positive, caring, and compassionate even when the world wants you to be the opposite way.
that is all for now,
I love you all very deeply
your friend,
VPK
Thursday, October 6, 2011
title this what ever you want
liquid is needed for the dry bones
the kings need to be took of the thrones
it does not matter if you
change the one who rules
they still rule the fools
they fall for all the tricks
victims of the wicked politics
those who are dumb, deaf and blind
led wrongfully by the evil swine
the sheep being lead deep
into the deadly snakes pit
being squeezed until they submit
to the ways of the system
many to brainwashed to see
they are a murder victim
fack the government
they are not McDonald's
I am not lovin it
blinded by the illusion
of the Republicans and Democrats
never trusting a word said
by the filthy stinking rats
the kings need to be took of the thrones
it does not matter if you
change the one who rules
they still rule the fools
they fall for all the tricks
victims of the wicked politics
those who are dumb, deaf and blind
led wrongfully by the evil swine
the sheep being lead deep
into the deadly snakes pit
being squeezed until they submit
to the ways of the system
many to brainwashed to see
they are a murder victim
fack the government
they are not McDonald's
I am not lovin it
blinded by the illusion
of the Republicans and Democrats
never trusting a word said
by the filthy stinking rats
another one I guess
one of the only to care
but you know what my dear?
you throw me under the bus
all. because of the fuss
that was wrongfully said
that was planted like a seed
deep with in your head
so now you dislike me indeed
but you should be aware
I will never stop to care
my friendship love will
always be strong, and there
for you to lean on like
like a strong brick wall
every time you have a fall
so matter how your feel my friend
I will be there for you until the end
but you know what my dear?
you throw me under the bus
all. because of the fuss
that was wrongfully said
that was planted like a seed
deep with in your head
so now you dislike me indeed
but you should be aware
I will never stop to care
my friendship love will
always be strong, and there
for you to lean on like
like a strong brick wall
every time you have a fall
so matter how your feel my friend
I will be there for you until the end
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
what ever this is
Dear my lovely readers,
hello I am victor, and I have Insomnia, that is why I am named Insomnivic on twitter, I have pills, my doctor wants me to take to get to sleep, but guess I did not take them. do you really care about this? I don't know, I don't know what anyone cares about, only myself, people can claim to care about something, but people claim Columbus discovered America, and we know that shit is a lie.
my mind is wondering in many directions right now, but it all comes back to the same point, love is the only thing that exist that actuarial motivates people, don't think it is true? think of anything in your life you seek, and I guarantee love some how ties in to it, remember love has many different forms, and looks, we just only think of love as it being between two lovers, or friends, but it exist in other ways, in ways we simply can't understand. love us the father of sorrow, joy and hate. people suffer from sorrow, because people don't love them, people have joy, because of love and people hate, because they have a love for the opposite thing they hate.
people judge people, and people hate that, but in reality(what ever that is) people judge people for judging them, so we are all judgemental,
I guess this is all confusing,
maybe I am stupid, maybe you just don't understand, maybe the truth is both
that is all I am too tired for this
your friend,
VPK
hello I am victor, and I have Insomnia, that is why I am named Insomnivic on twitter, I have pills, my doctor wants me to take to get to sleep, but guess I did not take them. do you really care about this? I don't know, I don't know what anyone cares about, only myself, people can claim to care about something, but people claim Columbus discovered America, and we know that shit is a lie.
my mind is wondering in many directions right now, but it all comes back to the same point, love is the only thing that exist that actuarial motivates people, don't think it is true? think of anything in your life you seek, and I guarantee love some how ties in to it, remember love has many different forms, and looks, we just only think of love as it being between two lovers, or friends, but it exist in other ways, in ways we simply can't understand. love us the father of sorrow, joy and hate. people suffer from sorrow, because people don't love them, people have joy, because of love and people hate, because they have a love for the opposite thing they hate.
people judge people, and people hate that, but in reality(what ever that is) people judge people for judging them, so we are all judgemental,
I guess this is all confusing,
maybe I am stupid, maybe you just don't understand, maybe the truth is both
that is all I am too tired for this
your friend,
VPK
Monday, October 3, 2011
it is not a good feeling
Dear my lovely readers,
it is not a good feeling to get randomly sad, and not bo the reason(s) why. you sit, and think of why you are sad, but the only thing you really do is just add on to why you were sad in the first place, and are doing nothing but adding the wood of sadness to the fire of sorrow, that burns your soul, and the only thing left after is ashes of tears you cried. I wish I could begin to even know why I get sad for no reason when I have been happy, life be a lot easier, or at least this be easier to deal with.
that is all for now,
love, your friend
VPK
it is not a good feeling to get randomly sad, and not bo the reason(s) why. you sit, and think of why you are sad, but the only thing you really do is just add on to why you were sad in the first place, and are doing nothing but adding the wood of sadness to the fire of sorrow, that burns your soul, and the only thing left after is ashes of tears you cried. I wish I could begin to even know why I get sad for no reason when I have been happy, life be a lot easier, or at least this be easier to deal with.
that is all for now,
love, your friend
VPK
wordless song
I take no joy, or pleasure
by any means, or measure
I only wish you'd get better
what is not seen in a eyes view
the bitter coldness, the true
world of the lost bird who
tries to fly, but has no wings
the wordless song he sings
the strings he plays on a guitar
in front of the crowd at the bar
the people are too drunk to hear
a word he says, but they cheer
he has them feeing alive and well
but he personally lives in hell
he is dying inside slowly
a secret he keeps to himself only
he wishes he could tell them
but keeps this world hidden
and the next song he starts to begin
what he lives makes him die
and when he dies he will live
the wordless song he sings
by any means, or measure
I only wish you'd get better
what is not seen in a eyes view
the bitter coldness, the true
world of the lost bird who
tries to fly, but has no wings
the wordless song he sings
the strings he plays on a guitar
in front of the crowd at the bar
the people are too drunk to hear
a word he says, but they cheer
he has them feeing alive and well
but he personally lives in hell
he is dying inside slowly
a secret he keeps to himself only
he wishes he could tell them
but keeps this world hidden
and the next song he starts to begin
what he lives makes him die
and when he dies he will live
the wordless song he sings
Sunday, October 2, 2011
to the people who read, and don't read my blog
Dear my lovely readers.
I want you to know that I read, hear and see how lots of you are going through hard times with one thing, or another, and I want you to know that I am concerned, and keeping you all in my thoughts, and prayers. I worry not only about those of you who read my blog, but also those who don't. I want everyone to know this, no matter who you are, no matter if we talk, or not, what it is that is making life hard, you can always come talk to me, and I will always have open arms, an open heart and an open mind and open ears for you <3.
I love you all deeply,
your friend,
VPK
I want you to know that I read, hear and see how lots of you are going through hard times with one thing, or another, and I want you to know that I am concerned, and keeping you all in my thoughts, and prayers. I worry not only about those of you who read my blog, but also those who don't. I want everyone to know this, no matter who you are, no matter if we talk, or not, what it is that is making life hard, you can always come talk to me, and I will always have open arms, an open heart and an open mind and open ears for you <3.
I love you all deeply,
your friend,
VPK
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