Father

Dear my father,

why did you not bother,

to be in the life of your son?

why did you have to shun,

your child away?

why the empty nights and day?

was it something I did,

that made you forbid,

yourself from being present,

in your offspring's development?

you have left me,

with a feeling of empty,

in words I can't truly express,

I try not to depress,

over what could have been,

but I wish we could star over again,

because maybe you do things different,

and be in my life from when I was an infant,

but you can't change the past,

and in today's time at last,

you are a part of my life,

so that lessons the strife,

and our relationship is expanding,

and it gave me the understanding,

of what it means to forgive,

all that have wronged us each day we live.

Lost

Your life is miserable,

but as long as there's snow,

you will bargain your soul,

to play in the the snake's pit,

to fill your black hole,

the venom doesn't bother you,

as long as the result is pleasant,

you try to change,

but your demons are always present,

and you need your daily fix,

of the devil's cake mix,

you want to go to rehab,

but that's not for you,

and your dealers always in view,

and has your ear,

the sweet sound of candy,

is what you want to hear,

it makes you smile,

but only for a short while,

now you need more,

so your knees work the floor,

in your story of sorrow.

Devils Chasing Me

I have devils chasing me, 

through the day,

I can't get them,

to ever go away,

It's a battle upstream,

of nightmares of my 

broken dreams,

Am lost in this confusing,

from thoughts am abusing,

am alone in recluse,

with these Devils,

that won't let me,

 break loose,

they got my soul,

stuck in a noose,

they keep me shackled

hands and feet stuck,

in their chain,

please let me break free,

from their reign,

and grant me,

my freedom,

and let my soul,

rest peacefully in Eden,

so my wings again,

can soar,

in Heaven once again,

once more.

Wisdom.

You're the most beautiful

 rose in the garden,

your smell is the most pleasant,

Your words are as soothing

as the Sun is bright,

You are the truth

in its purest  form,

you are worth more

than all the riches of Earth,

You're what wise people build upon

and what the fool lacks,

Those without you

You are what THE LORD

built the Universe with,

You are my love

forever. 

Why Infinity Is Not A Number

     Greeting, I hope you are doing well, and you are in peace!!!!

     How often when we use numbers, and want to get the highest number do we say "infinity?" I mean for example let's say Jeff is arguing with Beth, and Beth says "You're dumb times ten" and Jeff replies "Well you're dumb times Infinity" The thing about infinity is it's not a real number, and here is the reason why if infinity was a real number it would mean that numbers end; in other words you can't go any higher than that number, but no matter how high of a number any person can think of you can always get one number higher by simply adding one thus making it imposable to ever have a highest number, so in other words imposable for infinity to exist as an actual number.

     So does that make infinity obsolete? Well no, because you can still use it in some cases to be a substitute word for forever, for instance you can say "Jim signed a contract to work for Phil for an infinity amount of years" which would be the same as saying "Jim signed a contract to work for Phil forever." Another word you can use infinity in place of is eternity, for example you can say "THE LORD is live for infinity" which would be the same as saying "THE LORD will live for eternity."

     So in closing, infinity is not a number, because if it was than numbers would end, but we all know that know matter how high of a number you can always get a higher number by adding one, so infinity is not a number, but infinity can be used in place of words like forever, and eternity making it not disused.

Thank you for your time,
I love you all infinity,
your friend,
VPK!!!!

Do Doctors, And Pharmaceutical Companies Really want Cures?

     So I see a lot of different doctors for different illness, and one day I was in a store named Wal Mart, and I started to think to myself "Do Doctors, And Pharmaceutical Companies Really want Cures?" Now on first hand of the thought was well of course they do, I mean why would they not want a cure for things such as A.I.D.S, Diabetes. and other sicknesses?  Well because it comes down to one word, and that word is money.

     When I say money I don't mean how much it might cost for these cures, but I mean the money they would lose. Think about this if they could come up with a cure for let's say Diabetes there would no longer be a need for  Endocrinologist, and there would be no need for the medication, or for any of the other products that go along with it, and trust me there is a lot of items sold in stores especially for Diabetics that would other wise have no purpose.

Diabetics be in joy to be able to go back to the sugar cereals!!!!

      

and corporations would lose lots of money, and in the words of The Wu-Tang Clan, the legendary Hip Hop group, "Cash Rules Everything Around Me" and trust me as much as we hate to admit it cash is more valuable to them than human lives, but what about the people that do try to find cures?

     Of course in the wicked world of reality is the reality that there are those who are trying hard to find a cure for cancer(s), A.I,D.S and so on, or at least a vaccine, and to those people I take my hat off to for all their efforts, but sadly they are just a small pixel on the big screen t.v of life, and as long as the corporate world controls the money they will control things. Pretty much the Pharmaceutical Companies have a monopoly, and that monopoly is on the drug world.

Buy your drugs from me, because it's legal....

     The Pharmaceutical Companies are like your drug dealers in the city, but the only difference is it's all legal, in fact it works the same way, the doctors are the drug lord who controls the drug trade, the drug companies are the drug dealers with the drugs, and you are the consumer that buys them, and it's all legal, but you know what's funny, the same way a person on illegal drugs will want something stronger in time so too do the people on legal drugs, and sometimes they make people go to rehab for those drugs, but lots of times they just end up giving them more drugs, but hey it's legal....but let's look at this from another perspective.

     If they did find a way to cure every sickness that might mean more people without jobs causing poverty to go up, and so on, but who are we trying to fool? It's pretty much impossible to find a cure for most anything, hell even the Black Death is still around, so yeah it's greed.

     In closing, there are people who work their lives to find cures, or at least a vaccine for major, and minor illnesses such as Jonas Edward Salk, the person who discovered the vaccine for polio, because they care about the good of man, but sadly that world is controlled by the big drug companies, and the doctors who know if a cure was found for what ever they were a doctor for they be out of a job, as would other type of companies who makes tons of money from this world, so to answer my question, it is yes, and no, and that is the world we live in today, and the world your grandparents lived in, and grandchildren will be a part of.

Ching Shih

   

     Lots of people like pirates, and when you think of pirates you think of people such as Black Beard, Capitan Morgan (Maybe, because he has this drink named after him) Capitan Crunch and Captain Jack Sparrow, and others....okay the last two are made up, and one of them might not even be a pirate (as far as I know, like maybe they are both based on a real person?) but the first two are not, and both are legends along with other real life pirates, but here's a funny thing both of them, or any pirate for that matter would tremble in fear to the most ruthless and powerful pirate in the history of the world, Ching Shih, and you want to know a fact about this pirate? well take a look at this pirate.

     That's right the pirate was a woman, and she did not play around, and and that could be why Morgan has this rum drink named after him, because he feared this pirate would take his booty, so he got drunk to deal with this fear.



     So maybe you want to know a little about her career, well read this for Wikipedia, the famouse info website, "The fleet under her command established hegemony over many coastal villages, in some cases even imposing levies and taxes on settlements. According to Robert Antony, Ching Shih "robbed towns, markets, and villages, from Macau to Canton." In 1806 a British officer reported on the terrible fate of those who resisted Ching Shih's pirates. The pirates had nailed an enemy's feet to the deck and then beaten him senseless Contemporary reports from the British admiralty called her “The Terror of the South China."


     The Chinese navy lost sixty-three ships in the attacks. The Red Flag Fleet under Ching Shih's rule could not be defeated — not by Chinese officials, not by the Portuguese navy, and not by the British. Finding it hopeless to defeat her, in 1810, amnesty was offered to all pirates, and Ching Shih took advantage of it She ended her career that year, accepting an amnesty offer from the Chinese government. She kept her loot, and opened a gambling house. She died in 1844, at the age of 69.


     Yeah, she did not uckfay around!!!!

Hello Russia!!!!

So I see a person, or people from Russia reads my blog, and that's pretty cool, but who are you, and how did you find my blog? I can't think of anyone I know via the internet from Russia, so once again thank you for being a reader of my blog, I hope you like it. :)

Love,
Your Blog Author,
VPK

Reincarnation

     Greetings, and peace to the Universes that exist, and those Universe that are soon to be born. So I was in a random mood of thought, and I started to think about reincarnation, because you know thoughts are sometimes random.

     Reincarnation is the belief that after death your soul is reincarnated into a new form of life, and while I don't believe in reincarnation let's say it did exist for the sake of thought, because I have a few questions to ask about the subject:

Question one: If reincarnation is in fact real than does that mean that every person alive today soul has always been, and always will be meaning that every single person has existed from the birth of life?

Question two: Is who, or what we are reincarnated into a random act, or is it determined by what actions we took in the past life?

Question three: If it is not a random act, and let's say for the sake of the upcoming question you are always reincarnated into the species you were in the past life, meaning a human will always be a human, than does that mean a person who is living a horrible life, for example a person that is dying of starvation, was a horrible person in their past life, and they are just being punished for their action in their last life? meaning the Universe is just doing what is sees as "justice?"

Question four: If we can be reincarnated into different forms of life, and what you became was determined by your actions in your last life, and in your next life you were born as an ant, than how would the Universe determine what you are in the next life? Since you would only be doing what an ant does, and really despite their annoyance to humans sometimes ants are neither good, or evil, but simply are.

     Yeah, I need more sleep, or maybe I don't, because who knows maybe in my past life I was a person, or maybe a cat that all I did was sleep, so now I live a life were I seem to have a difficult time sleeping, and insomnia is just my punishment.

Thank you for your time,
love,
your  blog author,
VPK.

Save Me My Father

My feet walk on broken glass,

were my blood stains the ground fast,

I wish I had the wings,

So I could just fly away,

but instead am left with these cuts,

that remind me am shattered,

in so many ways,

as my arms drag my soul,

across the halls of despair,

I lift my head just enough,

in hope to see hope there,

across the way,

but I find my spirits in decay,

Save me my father,

My Heavenly majesty,

save me my father,

from all this agony,

let me make it to your feet,

so I can rest my soul,

because if my journey ends,

with out you in the end,

my struggles were all for nothing.

Alone on The River

Alone on the river,

On sorrow's lonely raft,

Were being apart,

Has cut me in half,

we were together,

for just an instant,

but the next moment,

we were very distant,

Why what comes,

always has to go,

couldn't joy just stay,

and not leave,

me alone with woe?

23/7/13

Over a while in the sea,

over time between you, and me,

at the end of the paragraph,

A conversation filled with laugh,

between two old acquaintances,

about the past sentences,

and a smile for the next letter,

in the journey of desire for the better,

that the next book brings,

on hope's tender wings.

Tired, very Tired

Am so tired,

my eyes are wired for sleep,

but my mind is ready,

to travel in the deep,

and explore worlds unknown,

from future memories shown,

in my past reflection,

a child was born,

then began the storm,

between the weather,

of the cold and warm,

You are not lost,

you just need to be found,

by the king of kings,

with the highest of crowns.

As I Am

The brightness of the sun,

is just too much,

so I leave my eyes closed,

and wait to be alone,

only with the moon,

Away in seclusion,

with my many broken dreams,

and my world of fantasies,

on my island of illusion,

because being alone,

is my rose of beauty!!!!

A Thought For Today, And The Tomorrows.

You know I sit here staring into the abyss of thought, and it pains me to know that despite the lies I would be told if I asked I know the truth that most the clothing I wear, and the products I use were made in sweatshops at the expense of a childes Torture, all so some company can save a dollar. Once you learn of the true ways of this world we live in you realize sorrow is not just a feelin' but an escape!!!!

For No Reason At All Other Than I hear Birds Singing....

We are a collection of souls that live in a society that lives in a Universe that has love, hate, lust, that in which is in between, anime, laughter, drama, the sun, Moon, Stars, planets, heaven, hell, gods, angels, demons, friends, family, enemies, happiness, depression, the formation of thoughts, the dark, light, chaos, order, music that the outside world can hear, music that is only heard with in our soul, resurrection of the mental dead, resurrection of life, books, philosophy, films, politics, and many things that are known to humans, and the things only a select few can understand such as humanoid interfaces, time travellers, espers and other forms of life those lucky enough to know of, and understand that life is a mystery that shall never be fully solved by the human mind. if you want to know the point of this post, and why I made it, just look deep in your soul and fall deep into the bliss of thoughts, and travel to the many different Universe that exist in your mind!!!!

It Never Fails!!!!

No matter how happy I get it never fails that my depression will seep into my soul, and remind me how much am not happy, and I will always be alone in this world with my sorrow, nothing else. Why does love hate me, tell me what have I done to be cursed like this? 

 someone help me please!!!!

The Most Epic War You Will Ever Be In!!!!

The epic war for your soul continues, but you should know this; there is no epic war for your soul, and never has been, but rather the war is for what becomes of your soul after your physical body is no longer needed, and remember this; this war is the most important war you can ever be in, because in the end it's the true battle of life or death!!!!

Sometimes (Lots Of Times) Society Burns My Biscuits!!!!

Dear my lovely readers,

     So a man named Charles Ramsey saved three girls that have been missing for ten years, and more, so you think people would be talking about how much this man is a hero, but nope instead most people are judging him based on what he looks like, and making fun of him for that, because he does not look like the typical "Hollywood hero" and making fun of him for how he interviews, and I for one think that is pure bullsh*t, because once again it's society pretty much saying everything depends on how one looks, so on other words who cares if he saved theses girls, because that matters less then the way he looks, but hey I guess what he did does not matter as much as how he looks, or interviews, and either do those girls, because society makes that out to matter less, but society likes to do this, and it's annoying!!!!

     The Charles Ramsey story is just one example, but if you look you can see it everyday, for example why does cosmetics sell so damn well? The answer is, because women think they have to look a certain way, so they make up them selves up in order to fit what society tells them is beautiful. You want to know who one of the biggest liars you will ever speak to is, the mirror, and do you want to know who the person speaking from the mirror is, society; sure you might hear your voice, but in reality it's society telling you want you have to look like, and also be like.

    Society also tells you what you have to be like, and act like based on what your race is, your religion, your sexuality, where you come from, and so on, and it's stupid. I mean you think by now it would not matter what race you are, and so on, but no we still find our selves were if you're living' in the world today in most cases those things matter.

    Before I go, let me tell you this; don't look at another person with your eyes open,  but instead see them through your mind, because when you look at someone with your eyes open.  you sometimes are blinded to the person they really are!!!!

Thank you for your time,
Love,
Your Friend,
VPK



   

As The Prince Returns

So you thought I was gone,

As you sing your happy song,

In celebration of my demise,

But those words are only used,

to fill your heart with lies,

As you try to tell your mind,

It's the very truth,

But it's all designed,

to keep those like you blind,

on the illusion of freedom,

Between the angels and demons. 

Despite Everything

I always try to keep hope alive, like sometimes I sit here, and get really upset about how my life has become over the past year, and wish things would change, but it seems to be hospital stay after hospital stay, and doctor visit after doctor visit; in fact I have to see many different specialist in the next coming months, and all the little things I use to do I took for granted I wish I could do them again, however I shall always keep hope alive!!!!

Are you my gift,

or my very curse?

Did you come to give my light,

or keep me stuck in the dark?

I don't know the answer,

nor do I even know the question,

I am just lost,

with no map to go by,

no words to cure my,

tears that fall,

everything is wrong,

but at the same time,

why does it feel right?

My Crappy Film Review

Dear my lovely readers,




    So over the last few weeks, or maybe a month, or so I watched a few films, and this is how I feel about each one, and I will let you know if it in my view point would be worth watching, and the basic plot, however I will not tell you about what happens (too much), or give you any spoilers



Film Number one-Django Unchained



Staring Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Kerry Washington

Written by Quentin Tarantino

    Django Unchained starts off with slave owners transporting a bunch of slaves at night through the south (one of them being Django played by Jamie Foxx) when Dr. King Schultz (played by Christoph Waltz) a former dentist turned bounty hunter, frees Django after killing his owners, because Django knows where some people are in which Schultz is looking for a bounty. Schults tells Django he will give him his freedom is he helps him find the people he was after, DJango agrees later after they kill the people they were looking for (lots of people die in this film) Schultz asks Django what he will do now, and Django tells him try to find his wife, and buy her freedom. Schultz then says he will help him find his wife, Broomhilda, if Django will work with him over the winter in collecting bounties: he agrees and the plot of the film becomes them looking for Broomhilda to try, and get her freedom from her current slave owner.

     

     out of ten I would give this film a 7.9, and say it is worth watching. It is well written, has good action, the acting is pretty good, and worth your time.


Film Number Two-Argo



Staring, and Directed by Ben Affleck

    Argo is about Tony Mendez, played by Ben Affleck, plan to get a bunch of people caught up in Iran during the Iran hostage crisis by pretending to be a film crew from Canada that is making a film (a fake film) and the hostages are actors, and actress in the film, and well that's pretty much it. this film did win best picture of the year, so is it worth seeing?

    

     No, To be honest I was bored the whole time watching this film, like I just wanted it to end, out of ten I give it a five, and really it is only a 3, so in other words avoid this film!!!!

If you like to learn more about the Iran hostage crisis Google it!!!!




Film Number Three-Silver Linings Playbook



Staring Jennifer Lawrence, Bradley Cooper, Robert De Niro

     This film is about Pat Solitano Jr (played by Bradley Cooper) getting out of the mental hospital for bipolar disorder, and wanting to reunite with his ex wife, but is unable to do so, because she has a restraining order against after he caught her cheating on him, and he beat the living day lights out of the guy, Unablre to communicate with her he has no conntact with her, until he later meets Tiffany Maxwell (played by Jennifer Lawrence) who also has her own mental problems after the death of her husband. Who later in the film agrees to give letters to his ex wife if PAt agrees to enter into some kind of dance contest with her.

     Out of then I would give this a 9, the acting is great, the story line is great, and it shows how a person hard life can be sometimes for a person with bipolar disorder can be, and how a person that lost a loved one can go through hard times, and how people take advantage of them. Jennifer Lawrence's win for best actress was well deserved and this film should have been of of the two films I thought should have won film of the year, so I say go, and see it, or buy it when it comes out!!!!

Film Number Four- Les Misérables



Staring Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway, Amanda Seyfried




     Before I tell you about this film you should know it is a musical, so if musicals are not your cup of tea than you probably should not watch this film, however if you don't watch this film you are missing a great film. The story of this film is about Jean Valjean (prisoner 24601) being released from prison after nineteen years for stealing bread, but is put on parole, but later breaks his parole, and decides to start a new life, but later meets a girl turns to prostitution to pay money to the evil innkeeper and his wife who look after her child, named Cosette. the girl dies, and Valjean agrees to find the child, and take care of her. Now a lot more happens in this film, but to be honest there is a lot to talk about, and I don't really want to give away the plot(s), because I feel it is worth watching!!!!

     out of ten this is a 9.5, the acting is great, the story lines are great, the singing is great, and the title of the film makes sense since well pretty much everyone is in some sort of miserable situation(s) one person is miserable because he is on the run, while having to take care of his step daughter, another is miserable, because he can't capture him, their is the misery of loving someone that loves someone else, the misery of living in a county were things are bad for the poor, but good for the rich, and takes place in France around the time of the June Rebellion. (Google it) everything is just f*cked up!!!!

So pretty much watch all these films except Argo, because that film is pure rubbish!!!!

Love,

your friend,

VPK

Interesting, Very Very Interesting

So I just woke up from a dream I had, and I was confused about the meaning, however now I know what the dream meant, so what happened in this dream you might be asking yourself? Well I was at the swimming pool with a friend, and while we were there some person was doing awful thing to them such as dunking their head into the water, and holding it there, so I tried to help my friend as I feel a friend should, however my friend got mad at me, and the person that was doing the awful things said they would make my life full of sorrow, and I said I die everyday from sorrow, so what difference would they make? So my friend left with the awful person, and I felt sad. I woke up shortly after, thought about the dream, was confused, went and got some water, and realized what it meant, and this is what the dream meant: I have helped many "friends" through hard times like a friend should, however those same people later go on to reject me as if I don't matter, however I already feel rejected by society, and so their rejection of me would be no different, besides they were my "friend" so the rejection hurt more, so in other words this dream was just a view of my subconsciousness, and a reflection of one of my sorrows



I guess this wasn't a dream, but a nightmare of truth
....am going back to bed
....sigh

This Might Be My Biggest Pet Peeve

Dear my lovely readers,

This right here might be my biggest pet peeve (as the title of of this post says above you) When someone asks another person "How are you doing, or how are you today" and the person says something like "I'm doing good, or I'm not doing too good, or I'm OK  or something like that" but they never ask in return how you are doing as if they are saying "I'm doing good, but fuck how you are doing, because that shit does not matter" in fact they should just say that, because that's pretty much what they are saying!!!!

sincerely yours,

love,

your friend (I guess)

VPK

Nothing

Dear my love, I know not your sake,

or why at night you keep me awake,

and sing me your sweetest melody:

As you suggest I have a deep sense of empathy;

even for my most hated enemy;

You are so wonderful to me,

Yet, your grace I do not see,

and for that feeling I apologize:

everyday of my life until my beating heart dies.

I hate love!!!!

My mind can't be made up anymore, as I no longer know the difference between hatred, and love, yet I do know that the poison of hatred grows everyday with in me. All because I only see love as an illusion created by my dreams that are broken. You can read this, and tell me to fix my dreams, love is amazing, however those words are easy to speak when you're a person that has felt the beautiful kiss of love, but when you live life always feeling as if you don't belong, and rejection is the only truth you know those words become worthless. Know this: When I talk about love I am not talking about love in a girlfriend/boyfriend/marriage way I mean platonic love, and when I say the hatred grows everyday I mean for myself, and before you say well you just have to learn to not hate yourself, I say to you BULLSHIT, how can you tell me that when you too only have ill feelings towards me? You want a metaphor to how you make me feel? I feel like am dying of a sickness, and you have the cure, however will never give it to me, but rather sit there, and watch me as I die inside more, and more everyday, mocking me in every sense of the word only, because my life makes you feel better about your horrible life, so you use me as an escape from your Hell to get a taste of Heaven. Maybe I am just to melancholy to even know the differences between love, and sorrow, and thus see them as the same thing, but the truth is they can't exist without each other: Love created sorrow, sorrow created hatred, and hatred is only cured by love: it's a cycle of emotion that never ends for anyone, and am stuck in the grasps of sorrow, and that sorrow is turning into hate, yet the only person I hate is myself, and I love everyone else.  Love has made my life a nightmare, and here's the ironic thing: Even though I hate love I still desire love over all other things, and keep an open mind to the possibility even though my soul knows the truth that it shall never be.

you don't matter

Maybe am just naive,

to your words I don't believe,

because even that which is concrete,

can be broke, and left obsolete,

So when you tell me those three words,

you can feed that lie to the birds,

as my happiness you will suck,

away from my soul that you stuck,

with your most wicked dagger,

and my heart you shatter,

with three different words, you don't matter

World At Risk

War is ugly in every essence,

As the poor are given their death sentence,

by the rich elite class,

that move victims in mass,

numbers for their own benefit,

getting richer by the blood of the innocent,

Because the number on the death toll,

does not matter, as long as they keep control,

of the county's power, and  population,

by methods of lies, and manipulation,

telling the people you're doing this to be free,

but really only do it for their love of money,

as they could all care less,

about the left over mess,

from the hells of war,

as the cries of the dead they ignore,

but no matter how many tears are wept,

as long as the power is kept,

in the hands of the murderous swine,

the story shall be the same every single time.

I Was Told...

Dear my lovely readers,

I hope all is well, and you are in peace!!!!

I was told by someone, one time, to not let my feelings control my life, and manipulate the person I am, because you know, I could become a person I would not want to be, or a person I don't like; kind of like the way it is anyway, so I guess am to no longer let them control my life, yeah, because that is an easy task just to ignore your feelings. I mean that's like telling me not to have any thoughts, and I have more thoughts than there are people of this world, or any world for that matter.


In other news that does not matter, but I will talk about anyway, because in some realities this news might matter, Argo won best picture of the year award; which is fine except for one factor: Argo was not that good of a film. I mean I was bored out my mind the whole time I was watching this film. Les miserables should have won film of the year, but I guess what I think does not matter, but only what the voters of this award think is what matters, and am not a voter for this award show called The Oscars....

Also I realized that the number zero matters most of all the numbers in the Universe, because with out zero no other number could exist, so instead of thinking of the Mayans as some people that had a calendar in which people wrongfully thought predicted the end of the world (which was wrong, not because the date was wrong, but the date the Mayans said the world was going to end is actually well after that December date) but we should see them as the people that invented the number zero, perhaps one of the greatest attributes to human kind!!!!

Well I have not much more to bother the world that exist with for right now, because it is late, or early depending on where you rest your head, so I will show you an episode of a show I want to be on one day, Fun With Flags 

OK, that is all for now,

love,

your friend,

VPK

P.S That was form the T.V show, The BIg Bang Theory, which is the best show on T.V, so you should watch it, and also I found my camera; which was missing, but you did not know that, because I never told anyone it was missing, however now you know, so if you are able to travel back in time to a time before I wrote this blog you could go back in time, and tell me "vic, I hope you find your camera" and I would say "how did you know it was missing?" and you could say "I know everything, for I can see the future...." 

So I Decide Not To Be Sad Today

I wake up  early in the morning,

I have a cup of tea,

and hope today is the beginning,

of me being somebody,

and no longer seeing myself as nothing,

go, and find me a wife,

and move on from all the heart breaks in life,

start a family, and have lots of kids,

but first these ill feelings I have to get rid,

leave the past in the past,

where it all belongs,

cure my mind of all its wrongs,

and only live by what's right,

no longer see life in the dark,

but keep a vision of the light,

at the end of hard works tunnel,

and at the end it all shall pay off,

as the rain that was falls from the heavens,

That was so very heavy now feels soft,

and a smile is born upon my face,

as I take the first steps to get to this place,

life is no longer just a waste,

but a gift granted!!!!

Corny....

My Love,

For You,

Is like,

The Sun,

It Rises.

Every single 

Day!!!!

More Of Nothing That is Something

Half the water has leaked,

out of my glass,

From the spell that you cast,

And this makes me piqued,

Because I can't break your hold,

and all I know is this world is too cold,

and I want to be warm,

as I transform.

My wish is to self accept,

myself in every aspect.

Fish For A Thought

Sitting here, waiting for forever to pass,

So I fill up my drinking glass,

with more liquor,

to make these days go quicker,

mixed with the pills they prescribe,

to erase all the bad vibes,

created by my mind's torture,

of my own order,

From the kingdom of my conscious,

the world becomes obnoxious,

and from hell comes my anxiety,

That makes me reject this wicked society,

That I created blindly,

But of this love, and hate there's little difference,

and from each other they wish for deliverance,

But they are twins of the same seed, 

with the same wants, and the same need,

of my very attention,

that form these different dimension,

as the time ticks away on my life's clock,

I try to solve my very paradox,

But even through the eye of logic,

What heals my soul is also toxic.

Fuck You

Dear Yourself,

I been waiting, and waiting, and waiting, but am tired of waiting. You should have saved my life, but you will say I did not know how to save your life, BULLSHIT, you simply did not care to,  You forget how I sucked in your sorrow even though I have my own pain to deal with, yet I still took yours, so you could live, and be a little more happy in your times of pain, but I guess that never mattered, so let's forget that ever took place. To be honest, You write this to yourself as if it will change your way of thinking, how you feel, or view everything, yet nothing will change, because as much as you hate it, you're in love with sorrow, and you can't see a world without her, even though you know it be better for your well being, and you will one day find this place, I hope, but guess what? You have to make it come, because your not just going to wake up one day, and everything will be better, but you have to change, and the change starts with you. Now go wash the blood off your soul, and ask people, "what should I do to change, what do you see wring with me?' and maybe, just maybe an answer shall one day come!!!!

Love,

yourself,

VPK

The Difference Between You, and I

Is I never turned my back on a friend!!!! Remember That!!!!

bored

I know of a lady,

Whose heart saw everything in gold,

But she was never once told,

The ways of the opposite,

No one ever told her,

love is filled with heart break,

so she lived the lie of the dream,

and meant a man at age fifteen,

a liar of everything,

and told her what her heart,

wanted to hear, and believe,

To get from her,

What he would need,

The fruit of her virginity,

After that he would leave,

without a word,

Now all she does is grieve,

With a heart filled,

with heart breaks swords,

and his life is filled,

with nothing, but rewards,

Why do men so wicked,

Never get convicted,

of this crime,

but women face judgement,

all the time?

This is just another reason,

The world will always,

be uneven

I Am Going To Hell

I am going to Hell,

That's how the story ends,

That my lips will tell,

I try to live not so wrong,

But this road to heaven,

the journey is just to long,

My mind has become too weary,

From my broken heart,

That waits for you to come bury,

The dreams of heaven in me,

so I may finally be set,

Free,

Every conversation we speak,

Your words of inspiration,

Grow ever soul weak,

As my ears grow,

Hard of hearing,

and all is so tiring,

But really am just a person,

Confused,

by the beautiful lies of the flute,

As I eat this fruit,

That opened my eyes,

To this world of Truth and lies.

If I, You Want To Judge

If I, you want to judge,

Then I will give you my shoes,

and you can walk through my abuse,

you can walk, and see my views,

You can walk any path you choose,

If I, you want to judge,

I promise to hold no grudge,

once you lived a week of my life,

but until that day comes to pass,

your sight only sees,

the reflection in the looking glass,

If I, you want to judge,

You must be blind.

 of any love or  hatred,

of me you might have had!!!!

9:48

Does the fruit taste,

more sweeter,

Now that the bitterness,

is gone?

are the flowers,

more beautiful,

and is the grass,

any greener in your lawn?

is the sky,

more clearer,

with no clouds,

in sight?

has everything,

that was wrong,

for you,

now become right?

is there no longer,

any lies,
you can behold?
But the truth,
Is the saddest,
story told!!!!

People Are Funny!!!!

Dear those of you that will read this blog,

I find people of the world to be funny, but not in a haha way, but in a they are hypocrites type of way. You see people of this world will get upset if someone says anything against their race, beliefs, or anything for that matter, yet these same people getting upset will use the word faggot, or say fag nearly every time they speak as if it's not a disrespectful word against people that prefer to have relationships with people of the same sex; What  hypocrites people are!!!! You sit there, and say you fight for human equality, yet you fight against people that want human equity. People are different, and are allowed to be that way; If we were all the same we just be ants, or some kind of bug that are all identical in form, but guess what were not bugs were humans, and come in all different sizes, shapes, colours, and so on, so stop using words to target people in a negative way, because they are different from you!!!!

In other words: Words are hurtful, and they are even more hurtful when they are disrespecting someone for being different, so stop using them as a knife to cut people, because sooner, or later it will come back to you, and you will feel what you put people through, so grow up, and stop your bullshit!!!!

Thank you for your time,
Your Friend,
VPK

Being A Drug Dealer Is Lonely

Dear the people that will read this,



Years ago, When I use to spend my days smoking pot I was very lonely as I am now, but back in those days I would spend lots of my time with a close friend of mine, and he was a major drug dealer, and pretty much the opposite of myself, because while very few people know of me everyone knows of him, and most people I know (in life outside the internet) only know of me, because of him, but none the less we were close, and still are, so anyway one day I said to him it must feel pretty good to have everyone like you, because just like now I felt alone back then too, and he looked at me, and said "people don't like me they only like me, because I have what they want, drugs, otherwise I never see them, and the love a drug dealer feels is false" So I guess if you have what people want they all love you, but only for pretend, and very little love is ever real in this cold world, and now as it didn't make much sense back, then, but today I am pretty happy with the few friends I have, and never want to be a part of a big crowd, but know this: my love I have for everyone is as real as ones feelings; which are the only thing real with yourself!!!! None the less even if I only belong with those of rejected society am happy with who I am, and will live life until my days come to a close!!!!

That is all for now,
Love,
Your friend,
VP.K

Title this what ever you wish!!!!

Everything is clear in black and white,

The vivid colours of your light,

you could not escape my mind, 

the joy you brought my sorrow at the time,

I knew this all; ends the same,

as everyone else that came,

but you picked me up,

just to leave your bullet.

once again in my broken soul,

for this myself I blame,

When ever I enter the house of love.

I leave only with pain,

nothing ever gets better,

the coldness of the weather,

I wish are friendship.

would never have been born,

now the memory is a beautiful rose,

with a bitter thorn,

but still the smell is sweet,

yet my pen gently weeps

and that time is obsolete,

only my notebook gives it reflection,

of those days of deception.

,I am now on another route,

but thanks to you,

I at least know what happiness is about!!!!

2;24 a.m

No devil sits on my shoulder,

but he dwells in between my eyes,

were he gives me no closure,

but a mind full of flies,

that are attracted to his rubbish,

with this sickness,

he forces me to punish,

myself, and beg for forgiveness,

and has me believing,

the distance from me to Yahweh,

is only close when am dreaming,

but in reality is just too far away,

but in the word of truth I soak,

and I am on my way to Rome,

were the tempter's chains will be broke,

and his house shall be my home,

but in the meantime I shall follow Him,

as each day I take another step towards repentance,

were a new me shall begin,

were he will no longer over me have ascendance.

yup

The mind is a ocean of deep waters,

were many thoughts go to drown,

and dreams are given birth,

but many pregnancies end in abortion,

before they are ever delivered,

so they never see the light of existence,

but alive, or dead there's no difference,

since they can't be with out the other,

so nothing ever comes to its demise,

even when the birds pick upon their body,

of lifelessness lucidity!!!!

Today was Just Another Day

Dear who ever will take the time to read this,

So today is another day in my book called life, and really I did a lot of thinking today as I do everyday, and I realized am not sure if am ever happy, sad or in between, and maybe am too caught up in my own thoughts, or feelings, and to be honest am not sure what the difference between the two are, like my feelings revolve around my thoughts, and my thoughts revolve around my feelings. I did realize that am very much an introvert, and maybe you think am not shy, because I post a lot of what I think on Twitter, Facebook, and where ever else, but the truth is am very shy, and I only talk when there is a small group, and shut myself off from the world when in large groups, and to truthfully I like it better that way, because I will never fit in with a large group of people, and I really just rather be alone most times.

I was thinking; I wonder if people do good, and bad things based on the events that either happened in their life, or events they witnessed, for example a person might not have at one time gave food to a starving person, and they subconsciously might have felt guilty about that, so they later on in life give to the poor, and the hungry. am not saying everything good, or bad is done for that reason, but just a thought, and am allowed to have thoughts even if they cause me anguish, or joy at the same time.

Speaking of thinking; today I was with my friends, and I noticed they were talking about someone, and I was really not into the conversation, but I noticed this about people; people find lots of joy when they point out out another person's wrongs, like it makes them forget about all of theirs, and for a short time brings them a sort of joy, but it's too bad to has to come at another's pain, but with that said am going to say this if you want to do the same to me please go ahead, because your joy matters more than my pain, but maybe that's the problem I care too much about other peoples feelings more than my own, and that does not work out to well for my own well being, but in the end it will all be worth the torment as long as I can sit with HIM forever!!!!

I really don't have much more to write about, but maybe later I will, I hope your days come with peace, and that you are in peace, but really I just want to know one thing before I leave; is it OK with you if I am myself rather than the person who I am not?

Thank you for your time,

Love,

your friend,

VPK.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower; The Film

Greetings my lovely readers, I hope you are doing well, and you are in peace.

So I recently saw the film The Perks of Being a Wallflower; which is based on the book by the same title written by Stephen Chbosky, and if you have not read the book I would recommend you take the time out, and do so, but any how the film is really good, and sticks to the book pretty good something I like a lot, because lots of films based on books change a lot of what the book was about, and most times end up just being rubbish. Also I like to point out the music in the film is pretty good, and goes pretty good with the film. If you can go to your local cinema, or one near by, and see the film, but if your local cinema is not for some reason playing this film, than watch it on line, or whatever.

You know there's a weird feeling I get when I think about the book/film, like it's my favourite book, but it makes me think about things I rather not think about, so to be honest am not sure if after seeing the film am happy, sad or maybe in a place in between the two; Either way am happy I finally got to see the film, and am happy I was told to read the book.

that is all for now,
I love you all deeply,
your friend,
VPK

Broken Love

We were built with passion,

But now are embraces are cold,

and the love is now absent,

and was nothing, but fool's gold,

We use to get lost in each others eyes,

But now are truth gets lost in our lies,

We had the perfect unity,

now we point the finger every opportunity,

When we say "I love you" are lifeless,

and we are stuck in this crisis,

with no way to  elude,

are everlasting feud,

I am your husband, you are my wife,

and together we are one in this unending strife.

Words From Beelzebub

Of all the things you may eat,

take the fruit with a taste so sweet,

take the smallest bite,

So that your eyes might,

see what is good, and evil,

and the true nature of people,

now for the rest of your years,

I shall live between your ears,

and play with your emotions,

I will leave you broken,

you only had one rule,

but you see you fool,

you went on instead,

and let me in your head,

were I planted my seed,

that will only grow into greed,

and things of its kind,

I am the downfall of mankind,

But still at the end of the day,

your children still fall for what I say,

Even as they know the way to freedom,

I will keep many from the kingdom,

with the beautiful lies I tell,

And even though I shall be in hell,

I shall spend everyday,

leading your offspring astray.

*please note Beelzebub, I hate you!!!!

platonic love

Is the best love one could have for another person; this love is the most beautiful of loves, and this love is the love I have for everyone even those I really don't know, those that hate me, and those that are different from me, so let's all love one another platonically

Just try

To be yourself, and happy; sure we all need to work on something in life, but that does not mean you have to change everything just to benefit everyone that wants you to be who they want you to be in order to make them happy, because at the end of the night while you're making them happy the only thing you're doing for yourself is making you sad!!!!

Don't care for titles

In my mind's war,

This conflict got me no were,

in time of peace,

everything is not always clear,

but in the time between,

even when my eyes don't work,

and all else is not understood,

even when by my mind it's not seen,

  my heart sees peace will always lurk.

You Won't Understand A Word Am Saying!!!!

Ry, el ryd tiet aid, pod giib dhaurk, ert uw ayo'hi hiecca cosga ayo zucc mossiit, pod dy pi nyrimd ayo zyr'd, ert U mnecc sehha yr zudn cuwi!!!!

Yahshua

Your love is soul beautiful,

it is my everlasting bliss,

and everyone of your words,

that come from you are my gift,

For I never have to walk alone,

Because you are with me eternally,

When my burden becomes too heavy,

you carry the load with the strength,

that is the amazing lessons,

taught to all YHWH children,

with the of the Holy Spirit.

as my prayers through you my teacher,

is for me to live with love, and peace,

through your divine grace.

Swimming With Sharks

I always have to swim,

in this deep water,

with people that hate who I am,

some build me up with love that is false,

 just to then slaughter,

they love to point out all my faults,

but with me that is just fine,

"cause no matter if you point out every wrong,

my life shall always move along,

'cause I know you're also not perfectly divine.

So no matter what you might claim,

 In the end we are all the same.

My Thoughts

My very thoughts are being consumed,

By my nightmares, and dreams,

From the time it seems,

I left thy fruit of the womb, 

They grow from a small seed,

that was planted by the florist,

they become a giant forest,

Of different thoughts I bleed,

some just wither away,

from my mind's very psyche,

some are heavy, some are lightly.

and although they are my prison,

they always come free,

from the universe that is me,

and will always keep me driven. 

It's night time, unless it's day time where you live

I am the author,

of my life's story,

My blood is my offer,

For the answers  I inquiry,

Every word is written,

in my soul's ink

As many times I feel smitten,

and begin to sink,

but always will rise,

under the teachings of the one,

because truth conquers lies,

and under the sun,

nothing is ever new,

since my times  dawn,

before my mind even knew,

there has been snakes in my lawn,

That are very poisonous,

and ready to strike,

With a substance,

of a world they convince me to like,

causing a great crisis,

And everything becomes confusion,

But my thoughts are never lifeless,

Even among the great illusion.

False Things Must Parish

What I have learned,
Chases me away,
and causes me to burn,
In the presences of a lost memory,
of those that pretended to be,
As false things continue to parish,
in the hands of those you forgot,
as your eyes were too blind,
to see there wicked plot,
Now by there words
they have you trained
like some kind of a dog,
now you are among the lost,
unable to see in this fog.

Anwar

Where could you be?

I search deep with in me,

But no matter where I look,

you're no where to be found,

I hear your foot steps,

walk so peacefully in my heart,

And the sound of your voice,

Brings peace to my thoughts,

I miss our conversation,

we have about everything,

As you brought the beauty of consolation.

You are wonderful collection of lights,

A friend that will always be dear to my heart!!!!

This Says What It says!!!!

You live in a lovely world

One of great dreams,

Underneath the beautiful sky,

Reaching for the heavens,

eyeing the most amazing of thoughts,

Day by day it's a gift 

Every which way your Universe exist,

As the lights of life shine,

Dreams build up in your mind,

That travel through space and time,

Only you know of this world that's,

Magical like a childes imagination,

Everything though in the end dies!!!!

5:36 in the a.m

I try to find life,

So why do I only look.

 were there is death?

I look to my right, 

I look to my left,

I search through the day, 

I search through the night,

But sorrow is the only thing,

that is ever in my sight,

I write words of love,

but those words only break,

my heart that no longer beats,

I travel to the gardens,

of the most sweetest joy,

but those flowers are choked,

out by the weeds of grief,

Now I sit here as alive,

as one can be,

Yet in my very eyes,

I am as dead as can be

The Worst Conflict You Shall Ever Face!!!!

Dear my lovely readers,

I hope you are all doing great, and you are in peace!!!!

So let me tell you this from what I have learned on this journey we all are a part of called life; the worst conflict you will ever face is not with a member of your family, it's not with any type of friends, it's not with your job, school or anything like that, but the worst conflict you shall face in your life is with yourself.

You see you shall have days were everything is going right, but than you all the sudden shall have thoughts about something, and these thoughts only lead to conflict with in ones mind, and all the sudden your day is rubbish.

And I don't want to be the person to bring the bad news to you, but there is no way around having conflict with yourself, because it just simply is, and no matter what you try to do it simply will always exist.

I myself face many conflicts through out the day such as: conflict about how I feel about myself, conflict about love, and hate, conflict about if I even exist as I think I do, or if am nothing but thought, and many more conflicts, but at the same time what would I be with out conflict? They make me look deeper into life, and try to understand the Universe(s) more, so in a way conflict is a good thing, but at the same time conflict is a bad thing.

Am pretty confused now about what I just wrote, so am going to stop this post. hahaha

I hope YHWH sends many blessing upon you, your friends, your family, and all your loved ones,
I love you all deeply.
your friend,
VPK

How my heart, and mind feel about each other

We always walk together,

and wish to keep are thoughts in peace,

but we can never overcome the weather,

I try to sing your sweet melody,

And me you always try to understand,

But no matter the love were an enemy,

Even though we love each other so deep,

We shall never agree,

And this leads us to weep,

I wish are views were identical,

But they are nothing, but contrary.

And between us all shall always be  skeptical.

My Freedom From Thyself

I'v lost trust in people,

poisoning  me with their lies,

as nothing is equal,

and another dream dies,

as your love was written in lust,

now everything is broken,

and my gold has turned to rust,

you've taught me to hide my emotion,

and hide what I fancy,

as my words go unspoken,

between the hells of being happy,

and the world of my woe,

living only among the forgotten,

as I begin to grow,

away from that which is rotten,

my eyes begin to open,

no longer shall they close,

to my heart's devotion,

and the path that it chose,

has given me wings to fly,

and despite your murder of me,

My eyes no longer cry,

I continue to live, and be,

As my mind has been set,

free from my unstable mental health,

and no longer live in regret,

but to have freedom from the hatred of thyself !!!!