3:03

Greetings readers of this blog your eyes are laying upon. I am back from where I was the hospital, and decided to tell you about it this time, because of a new medicine they had me on for nausea. now I took another one that kinda worked, but this not only worked, but this med had me buggin' out like I was on acid. now this med was a narcotic, and given to me through an I.V so it worked fast, and I was also on another   narcotic through an I.V dilaudid for pain, which its self makes you feel like a rainbow sleeping on the sun, so getting both at the same time might have done the trick, but man the feelin' was crazy. my clock was going backwards, an old lady was in my window (I was on the third floor) crazy shit was going on. I failed to tell the doctor, or nurses about this, because the thing about the hospital is even though with the dilaudid I would just fall asleep, because of how relaxing it makes you, one can never get any rest, because even though the door is closed, all the lights are off, and I am in complete darkness they come in your room every half hour to see if you're dead, and it's like guess what I was not doing a half hour ago? dying, so guess what am not doing now? dying.

I have been home for a few days now, and am doing pretty ok :)

I hope all is going well for all of you,

love,
your friend,
VPK

The House of the Beautiful moon

I want to enter the house,

of the beautiful moon,

so I can feel the warmth,

of her carpets on my skin,

and stare out her windows,

into the sun's everlasting dream,

while her walls around me,

bring comfort to my being,

I want to meditate in her heart,

as my soul soaks in her,

I want her to be my solace,

in my heart of sorrows,

as being in her house is peace,

one only dreams of having.

America, the ugly.

I will not stand up,

and raise you in my arms,

the red streaks of blood,

you caused by your ego,

since you crossed the blue ocean,

with an agenda used to white wash,

the history of the natives,

and make your stars the brightest,

I will not fall of the lies of liberty,

when you have robbed people,

of their very identity,

I am deaf to your talks,

of being a nation of justice,

when your tactics are criminal,

I am blind to your lies of freedom,

when you make slaves of the poor,

every single word you have written,

in text books are only used to your agenda,

you are a beautiful lie,

that is repulsive in truth,

you are my home country,

the United states of America,

the ugly.

lost woman

she loved him dearly,

and would wait for him yearly,

to return back home,

from the streets he would roam,

she sat staring out her window paign,

with her love that would remain,

while he moved about,

with different women without,

any thoughts of her,

she buried her pain in liquor,

she wanted the man that she wed,

but that man was dead,

but she did not know how to leave,

the past in which she still believed,

existed on this very day,

but his wicked way,

is the person he had become,

a different person from,

the one she had knew,

the broken hearted view,

is how she now lives,

for the man her heart forgives,

but her mind has come to detest,

for never giving her soul any rest.

Dreams Die

my dreams are crushed by reality.

hurting me so badly,

my eyes closed sadly,

hoping when they open once more,

new dreams will open their door,

but that's never the case,

so these false hopes I chase,

which all lead back to the place,

in which my sorrow darkens the light,

and all hope is dead in my sight,

please someone save me,

from my worst enemy,

that is me.

I write these for nothing

the  grapes from your vine,

sweet woman of mine,

are what keeps my heart pumping blood,

and stops me from being a child of the mud,

until you are ready to come,

from the living world you're from,

I will wait while am high from the trees,

wanting you like a cure for a disease,

the juice of your kiss,

is better than any dream that exist,

you are my love tattoo,

my breath is pointless without you.

and the world is just false,

without your tender feel all is lose,

when I see you again,

we can die together in sin, 

and among the stars be reborn,

never again to be torn,

no matter the storms,

from each others arms

the flower of the desert

the flower of the desert is missing,

without her I only know sorrow,

where has she gone?

I searched the north for her presence,

but my hand was empty of her feel,

I looked to the south for her being,

but not once did my eyes lay upon her,

I hope to hear her voice in the west,

but my ears did not receive that joy,

and I did not find you in the east,

where my heart rest never in peace,

until I see the beauty of her eyes,

and the comfort of her voice,

and the touch of her kiss,

 flower of the desert,
please grant me the gift,
to be with you once more.

to the wisdom of the Southern winds

Thursday morning my eyes don't close,

without you I am just a lonely rose,

left in the desert to die,

I wish I could feel the tears of your cry,

but we are too far from each other,

and my soul will only suffer,

in memories of you it dreams,

in time that seems,

to have been a long time ago,

now my heart it tries to sow,

a garden of your thought,

but in sorrow it is caught,

in the sunshine of us that was strongly.

and how everything ended wrongly,

but still I wish I could live the joy again,

or over we could begin,

but things will never be how they were,

and you are a beautiful memory that will occur,

from time to time in my mind,

and you will always be amazing like when the stars align,

in beautiful  astrology,

these words are my apology,

to you.

worthless tongue

the song from my violin,

tells the same story again,

wishing for the changing of the notes,

but still I find myself in quotes,

from ancient wisdom,

and those fighting for a new system,

but the truth can never be erased,

I am empty being chased,

by hopes of what will never be,

so take your ax, and chop down my tree,

I rather be dead then write one more letter,

I hear things get better,

but people in joy speak those words,

never once from the lips of the sad have they occurred,

we do not believe your lies,

like you do not hear our cries,

your world is worth living and fun,

ours is dark with no sun,

you smile for tomorrow,

but we burn in the hells of sorrow.

I have to change

or else I will always die

4/3/2012

nothing but fallen leaves,

in the forest  of dead trees,

there is no oxygen to breath,

just empty thoughts that won't leave,

that put my mind under Siege,

and happiness is just a figure of speech,

not an actual reality,

more of a dream that ends happily,

or is nothing but a tale of misery,

either way life has no shape,

and death is the only escape.

my philosophy of the outer and inner universe

Greetings, and peace to all of you that take time out of your daily lives to read my philosophy of the outer and inner universe. I know you are busy and it means a lot to me,  and I am very thankful.


first their is the outer universe. this is the universe in that all can see, and in the outer universe we are nothing. some may argue "how can you say that I am nothing" well let me draw a mental pitcher to help you understand were I am coming from,  look at the earth from space, then put it next to the sun. the earth basically is gone, but the sun is not even that big of a star in fact most the stars you see at night are way bigger than the sun. if you compare the sun to the biggest star known to man (Eta Carinae) it has a radius 400 times bigger than the sun, in other words, since the universe is constantly expanding we become smaller and smaller and therefore on the scale of universal measurement we are nothing.


then their is the inner universe. this is what is inside of us. unlike the outer universe were we are nothing, you are everything in this universe, and all matter is based on you. if you die so does this universe. only you know what goes on in the inner and only you know everything about your personal feelings. this is your soul. do not be confused both these universe always interact and depend on each other


this might make no sense but maybe you understand


peace and love