I sit there, and ponder on everything, even testing to see if what I think is correct is correct, and I end up being torn when it is true, on one hand, I knew it was, but on the other I wish so much it was not. you know I study human movement, and how people act towards people that are different from them, and I have found that in most cases people treat people that are different from them as lesser people, and even when they are not open about it, they cut those people in secret, so now I know that equity is in fact only a dream, yet I hold out as if it exist, but let's face it, rich people look down on poor people, poor people hate the rich people, smart people feel as if they are better than dumb people, people that are "dumb" look at smart people as people that think they are better than everyone, but that is not the case for all, some happen not to see a person that way
but with that said, everyone is both different, and the same. go and search the world, you will find a group of people just like you, and you will find some that are not like you, therefore, in reality you are what ever label you want to be,
and by the way, no matter how much we hate labels no one can escape them, but sometimes people are labelled what they are not, but what people think they are.
with that said, I will leave the world to either 1. think about this, or 2. never think about this, the choice is up to you, as everything written for the most part is up to the reader to interpret, and the the author to sit back, and watch.
I love you all deeply,
your friend
vpk
Monday, August 29, 2011
just random things
Dear my lovely readers,
today I am drinking from the cup of thought, and I have filled it with the waters of imagination, and the teabag of let's see. I have went back, and looked at my first book I wrote, and realized it needed to be longer, so I have been brainstorming ideas on how to make it longer, and have come up with a few. also I have thought about changing the ending, but am not sure, but both endings I have will be used one day, so I have wrote both down, and keep them in my hidden notebook of self.
this Friday I have been invited to take part in a draft party at my friends, now for those of you who don;t watch sports, or are not from the states, a draft party is when you, and a bunch of friends pick players by a draft, there are about 4-8 picks per round round, and about 8 rounds, hope I get first:)
I wish I knew how to draw, or paint, because I have so many ideas that I could tell a beautiful story that words can not tell
on a random note, I went to the bakery today, and I wanted to get a filled donut, and they only had two left, one was cream cheese, the other was jelly, and I did not know what one I wanted, so I asked the baker, and he said to me "either way I make 50 cents, so you chose is the right one to me" xD (I went with cream cheese in case you wanted to know)
that is all for now
I love you all deeply
your friend
vpk
today I am drinking from the cup of thought, and I have filled it with the waters of imagination, and the teabag of let's see. I have went back, and looked at my first book I wrote, and realized it needed to be longer, so I have been brainstorming ideas on how to make it longer, and have come up with a few. also I have thought about changing the ending, but am not sure, but both endings I have will be used one day, so I have wrote both down, and keep them in my hidden notebook of self.
this Friday I have been invited to take part in a draft party at my friends, now for those of you who don;t watch sports, or are not from the states, a draft party is when you, and a bunch of friends pick players by a draft, there are about 4-8 picks per round round, and about 8 rounds, hope I get first:)
I wish I knew how to draw, or paint, because I have so many ideas that I could tell a beautiful story that words can not tell
on a random note, I went to the bakery today, and I wanted to get a filled donut, and they only had two left, one was cream cheese, the other was jelly, and I did not know what one I wanted, so I asked the baker, and he said to me "either way I make 50 cents, so you chose is the right one to me" xD (I went with cream cheese in case you wanted to know)
that is all for now
I love you all deeply
your friend
vpk
untitled-part 2-sad version
I am like a tree
that is being chopped
the axe cuts me deep
while I am asleep
the flowers are victims
of the bottom of boots
they will never bloom
they die under the moon
nothing left but rotten fruits
the birds lose their home
the bee dies on its own
for heavens sake
please let me awake
where is the sun
to wake me from
feeling so numb?
that is being chopped
the axe cuts me deep
while I am asleep
the flowers are victims
of the bottom of boots
they will never bloom
they die under the moon
nothing left but rotten fruits
the birds lose their home
the bee dies on its own
for heavens sake
please let me awake
where is the sun
to wake me from
feeling so numb?
Sunday, August 28, 2011
untitled-part 1-happy version
I grow like a tree
in the garden of me
my roots are deep
in the world of sleep
and the flowers bloom
under the kiss of the moon
the tree sprouts fruits
while the bee plays the flute
the cats and dogs dance
while the mice and birds chant
the feeling of rain drops
falls lovely like rabbits hope
now comes the rise of the sun
wake up the day has begun.
(part 2 can not come until am either sad, or angry, so hopefully not for a while^__^)
in the garden of me
my roots are deep
in the world of sleep
and the flowers bloom
under the kiss of the moon
the tree sprouts fruits
while the bee plays the flute
the cats and dogs dance
while the mice and birds chant
the feeling of rain drops
falls lovely like rabbits hope
now comes the rise of the sun
wake up the day has begun.
(part 2 can not come until am either sad, or angry, so hopefully not for a while^__^)
amazing night!
Dear my lovely readers,
for the first time in a long time I had a night worth talking about, I went to a party with my friend that was in a near by town, and it was just amazing, the drive to get there was long, and the the road did not have any lights, so the risk of a deer, or another animal running out in front of the car was high, but non the less we made it, and everything went great, they had a big fire, because they lived at a place were if you have a fire, no one would think your house was on fire, plus they closest people that lived next to them are pretty far, but as cool as the fire was (it was pretty high I think they used like 10 trees for it), and as much as I wanted to sit by it, no one was really by it too much, because it was not near the house, so I was not too much, because I wanted to interact with everyone. I saw some old friends I have not seen in a while, and we caught up, and joked about the old times, and I met some cool people, there was lots of liquor too, and most everyone was high, so people for the most part were mellow, I guess I should tell you whose birthday it was, the person's name was Tyler, he turned 24 and before yesterday I had never met him, but he was ok, and seemed to enjoy his party there was even a fight between two drunk people, they were not fighting over anything, but just wanterd to have a boxing match, but I honestly think they were too drunk to realize how stupid it was, and so was most everyone else xD, but those who were not drunk just let them do it, because they were talking about who would win for the whole night -__- but they were so drunk it was more like watching a comedy fight than a real fight. after the party me, the person I went with, and 3 other people went to mcds, because it is the only places open at 4:50 in the a.m (besides denny's, but no one wanted to go there) the night just felt great. it made me feel like I was living, and not just living (^__^)
current mood-happy
that is all for now,
I love you all very deeply
your friend
vpk
for the first time in a long time I had a night worth talking about, I went to a party with my friend that was in a near by town, and it was just amazing, the drive to get there was long, and the the road did not have any lights, so the risk of a deer, or another animal running out in front of the car was high, but non the less we made it, and everything went great, they had a big fire, because they lived at a place were if you have a fire, no one would think your house was on fire, plus they closest people that lived next to them are pretty far, but as cool as the fire was (it was pretty high I think they used like 10 trees for it), and as much as I wanted to sit by it, no one was really by it too much, because it was not near the house, so I was not too much, because I wanted to interact with everyone. I saw some old friends I have not seen in a while, and we caught up, and joked about the old times, and I met some cool people, there was lots of liquor too, and most everyone was high, so people for the most part were mellow, I guess I should tell you whose birthday it was, the person's name was Tyler, he turned 24 and before yesterday I had never met him, but he was ok, and seemed to enjoy his party there was even a fight between two drunk people, they were not fighting over anything, but just wanterd to have a boxing match, but I honestly think they were too drunk to realize how stupid it was, and so was most everyone else xD, but those who were not drunk just let them do it, because they were talking about who would win for the whole night -__- but they were so drunk it was more like watching a comedy fight than a real fight. after the party me, the person I went with, and 3 other people went to mcds, because it is the only places open at 4:50 in the a.m (besides denny's, but no one wanted to go there) the night just felt great. it made me feel like I was living, and not just living (^__^)
current mood-happy
that is all for now,
I love you all very deeply
your friend
vpk
Friday, August 26, 2011
butterfly
a butterfly lives among the trees
opening his eyes to what he sees
as his eyes are among the seas
he floats up to the clouds
seeking the feel of the rain
it touches his wings like
a peaceful melody sings
as he dances over the sky
such a beautiful butterfly
opening his eyes to what he sees
as his eyes are among the seas
he floats up to the clouds
seeking the feel of the rain
it touches his wings like
a peaceful melody sings
as he dances over the sky
such a beautiful butterfly
what my psychologist said, and other things
today has not been a good day, I angered friends, and I have no one to blame for that, but my self. I did see my psychologist today, and she told me my test raised a red flag, because how much I thought about killing my self, and how I isolate my self from everyone. even how I feel I am dumb, I showed her some of my blog post, and she said it was perfect with what the test show, and she told me I have biological depression, and clinical depression. I really have a hard time with this, I don't know how to talk about it any more, and when I try I mess things up. I can only cry so much, but still it does not feel like I cry at all, because I have a lot more to do.
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