Broken

Dear my lovely readers,

I don't know where my mind is, but I know this, it is in a state of sorrow, and I feel broken, even though it was never in a state to call it fixed to even be broken. I sit, and stare at the clock, and wait for tomorrow, and Lord knows I hope for a good day since I can use one. I hate being sad, and feeling empty as if there is no one to turn to, so I just keep everything inside, and it is like a small tare at first it is small, and no big deal. but over time it grows, and grows until it is a a gaping hole. and happiness seeps out of it like death in a grave, leaving nothing but sorrow to conquer what is left of me. A problem I am having is I don't want to talk about this with anyone these days, not my psychologist, my friends, my family no one, and I wish it was not like this.

This month has been wack, please let October be a good one

thank you to those who read this
I love you all deeply
your friend,
vpk

Dear my lovely readers,

I don't know where my mind is, but I know this, it is in a state of sorrow, and I feel broken, even though it was never in a state to call it fixed to even be broken. I sit, and stare at the clock, and wait for tomorrow, and Lord knows I hope for a good day since I can use one. I hate being sad, and feeling empty as if there is no one to turn to, so I just keep everything inside, and it is like a small tare at first it is small, and no big deal. but over time it grows, and grows until it is a a gaping hole. and happiness seeps out of it like death in a grave, leaving nothing but sorrow to conquer what is left of me. A problem I am having is I don't want to talk about this with anyone these days, not my psychologist, my friends, my family no one, and I wish it was not like this.

This month has been wack, please let October be a good one

thank you to those who read this
I love you all deeply
your friend,
vpk

The wind

it has me blown over,
like the wind,
falling for every word,
like her for him,
closing my eyes,
what do I see,
as I open them up,
living in this reality,
the world sees me,
but does not recognize,
because I have been hiding,
in a disguise,
now this question,
myself I begin to ask,
when will I take,
off this mask?
that I wear
to hide every tear
that I shed.

Because,

reality is never
what is seems,
but sometimes the
threads of life,
tears apart from the seams,
and I need to take the needle,
and work on my sorrowed soul,
I hate the wind, blowing by,
life is a low,
life is a high,
but nothing is new,
under the sun,
and everything changes,
for a reason,
but that is life,
the way of the season,
winter, spring, summer fall,
we live in it all,
but that is just the weather,
and things that are bad,
will always get better,
bless me o'Lord,
be my protector,
my shield, my sword.,
heal my broken soul,
as only you can,
and get me throw.
anything that,
blows from the wind

why

Dear my lovely readers,

why do people worry so much about what other people do in their lives? OK now some might see this, and say "well I worry about my friend, because he has a gambling problem" and I understand that, but people are fast to point out the wrong of others, but never their own faults, in the Bible, it is written that Jesus, the greatest philosopher ever, said "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" and that is what we do, we sit there, and say "wow this person is dumb" but then we do dumb things ourselves. we sit, and point out all the wrongs of others, but we ignore all those same wrongs we have. I am not saying we have to like, and accept everything everyone does, but remember to see your own wrongs before you point the finger, we all do it, and we all need to stop, and do the following, love one another, love is the best building block to peace.

that is all for now,
love, your friend
VPK

night timeness

I ask myself this
do I really exist?
I go outside, and stare
at the moon to make it clear
as my mind floats to my demise
my soul echoes the cries
of a person that never dies
but never was born
I am nothing but cells
in this heaven and hell
in between reality and fiction
I am guilty in my conviction
but I stand innocent
both in the eyes
between your truth and lies
lies my truth
see me with any sight
because you are wrong
and you are right
all is different
all is the same

learning to grow

Dear my lovely readers,

one thing that comes in life, is the growing stage, now I don't mean growing as in height, or age, but in life, and it is something you have to learn to do, a person who takes drugs, and is an addict has to learn how to grow away from those drugs, a person that broke up with someone has to learn how to grow away from that person,etc, but none of that comes easy, and learning is something you have to put effort into. learning its self is growing, you start of like a seed, and the more you learn, the more you grow.

learning to grow, makes you grow as a person, and how you chose to grow, determines if it is for the better, sometimes when you are growing in a negative way, the best thing to do is to chop that tree down, and learn to grow in another way, and doing that is also a method of growing. grow for the better, not for the worse


love,
your friend,
VPK

bored I guess

my poor eyes bleed
in this world of need
we only see the want
controlled by the tyrant
if only I could see
life would simply
be a piece of cake
but instead it's a wake
some make it sweet candy
by hitting the bottle of brandy
life is sadly ugly
with all this hurt among me
yet I find its beauty
and people are truly
spectacular<3