Despite Everything

I always try to keep hope alive, like sometimes I sit here, and get really upset about how my life has become over the past year, and wish things would change, but it seems to be hospital stay after hospital stay, and doctor visit after doctor visit; in fact I have to see many different specialist in the next coming months, and all the little things I use to do I took for granted I wish I could do them again, however I shall always keep hope alive!!!!

Are you my gift,

or my very curse?

Did you come to give my light,

or keep me stuck in the dark?

I don't know the answer,

nor do I even know the question,

I am just lost,

with no map to go by,

no words to cure my,

tears that fall,

everything is wrong,

but at the same time,

why does it feel right?

My Crappy Film Review

Dear my lovely readers,




    So over the last few weeks, or maybe a month, or so I watched a few films, and this is how I feel about each one, and I will let you know if it in my view point would be worth watching, and the basic plot, however I will not tell you about what happens (too much), or give you any spoilers



Film Number one-Django Unchained



Staring Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Kerry Washington

Written by Quentin Tarantino

    Django Unchained starts off with slave owners transporting a bunch of slaves at night through the south (one of them being Django played by Jamie Foxx) when Dr. King Schultz (played by Christoph Waltz) a former dentist turned bounty hunter, frees Django after killing his owners, because Django knows where some people are in which Schultz is looking for a bounty. Schults tells Django he will give him his freedom is he helps him find the people he was after, DJango agrees later after they kill the people they were looking for (lots of people die in this film) Schultz asks Django what he will do now, and Django tells him try to find his wife, and buy her freedom. Schultz then says he will help him find his wife, Broomhilda, if Django will work with him over the winter in collecting bounties: he agrees and the plot of the film becomes them looking for Broomhilda to try, and get her freedom from her current slave owner.

     

     out of ten I would give this film a 7.9, and say it is worth watching. It is well written, has good action, the acting is pretty good, and worth your time.


Film Number Two-Argo



Staring, and Directed by Ben Affleck

    Argo is about Tony Mendez, played by Ben Affleck, plan to get a bunch of people caught up in Iran during the Iran hostage crisis by pretending to be a film crew from Canada that is making a film (a fake film) and the hostages are actors, and actress in the film, and well that's pretty much it. this film did win best picture of the year, so is it worth seeing?

    

     No, To be honest I was bored the whole time watching this film, like I just wanted it to end, out of ten I give it a five, and really it is only a 3, so in other words avoid this film!!!!

If you like to learn more about the Iran hostage crisis Google it!!!!




Film Number Three-Silver Linings Playbook



Staring Jennifer Lawrence, Bradley Cooper, Robert De Niro

     This film is about Pat Solitano Jr (played by Bradley Cooper) getting out of the mental hospital for bipolar disorder, and wanting to reunite with his ex wife, but is unable to do so, because she has a restraining order against after he caught her cheating on him, and he beat the living day lights out of the guy, Unablre to communicate with her he has no conntact with her, until he later meets Tiffany Maxwell (played by Jennifer Lawrence) who also has her own mental problems after the death of her husband. Who later in the film agrees to give letters to his ex wife if PAt agrees to enter into some kind of dance contest with her.

     Out of then I would give this a 9, the acting is great, the story line is great, and it shows how a person hard life can be sometimes for a person with bipolar disorder can be, and how a person that lost a loved one can go through hard times, and how people take advantage of them. Jennifer Lawrence's win for best actress was well deserved and this film should have been of of the two films I thought should have won film of the year, so I say go, and see it, or buy it when it comes out!!!!

Film Number Four- Les Misérables



Staring Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway, Amanda Seyfried




     Before I tell you about this film you should know it is a musical, so if musicals are not your cup of tea than you probably should not watch this film, however if you don't watch this film you are missing a great film. The story of this film is about Jean Valjean (prisoner 24601) being released from prison after nineteen years for stealing bread, but is put on parole, but later breaks his parole, and decides to start a new life, but later meets a girl turns to prostitution to pay money to the evil innkeeper and his wife who look after her child, named Cosette. the girl dies, and Valjean agrees to find the child, and take care of her. Now a lot more happens in this film, but to be honest there is a lot to talk about, and I don't really want to give away the plot(s), because I feel it is worth watching!!!!

     out of ten this is a 9.5, the acting is great, the story lines are great, the singing is great, and the title of the film makes sense since well pretty much everyone is in some sort of miserable situation(s) one person is miserable because he is on the run, while having to take care of his step daughter, another is miserable, because he can't capture him, their is the misery of loving someone that loves someone else, the misery of living in a county were things are bad for the poor, but good for the rich, and takes place in France around the time of the June Rebellion. (Google it) everything is just f*cked up!!!!

So pretty much watch all these films except Argo, because that film is pure rubbish!!!!

Love,

your friend,

VPK

Interesting, Very Very Interesting

So I just woke up from a dream I had, and I was confused about the meaning, however now I know what the dream meant, so what happened in this dream you might be asking yourself? Well I was at the swimming pool with a friend, and while we were there some person was doing awful thing to them such as dunking their head into the water, and holding it there, so I tried to help my friend as I feel a friend should, however my friend got mad at me, and the person that was doing the awful things said they would make my life full of sorrow, and I said I die everyday from sorrow, so what difference would they make? So my friend left with the awful person, and I felt sad. I woke up shortly after, thought about the dream, was confused, went and got some water, and realized what it meant, and this is what the dream meant: I have helped many "friends" through hard times like a friend should, however those same people later go on to reject me as if I don't matter, however I already feel rejected by society, and so their rejection of me would be no different, besides they were my "friend" so the rejection hurt more, so in other words this dream was just a view of my subconsciousness, and a reflection of one of my sorrows



I guess this wasn't a dream, but a nightmare of truth
....am going back to bed
....sigh

This Might Be My Biggest Pet Peeve

Dear my lovely readers,

This right here might be my biggest pet peeve (as the title of of this post says above you) When someone asks another person "How are you doing, or how are you today" and the person says something like "I'm doing good, or I'm not doing too good, or I'm OK  or something like that" but they never ask in return how you are doing as if they are saying "I'm doing good, but fuck how you are doing, because that shit does not matter" in fact they should just say that, because that's pretty much what they are saying!!!!

sincerely yours,

love,

your friend (I guess)

VPK

Nothing

Dear my love, I know not your sake,

or why at night you keep me awake,

and sing me your sweetest melody:

As you suggest I have a deep sense of empathy;

even for my most hated enemy;

You are so wonderful to me,

Yet, your grace I do not see,

and for that feeling I apologize:

everyday of my life until my beating heart dies.

I hate love!!!!

My mind can't be made up anymore, as I no longer know the difference between hatred, and love, yet I do know that the poison of hatred grows everyday with in me. All because I only see love as an illusion created by my dreams that are broken. You can read this, and tell me to fix my dreams, love is amazing, however those words are easy to speak when you're a person that has felt the beautiful kiss of love, but when you live life always feeling as if you don't belong, and rejection is the only truth you know those words become worthless. Know this: When I talk about love I am not talking about love in a girlfriend/boyfriend/marriage way I mean platonic love, and when I say the hatred grows everyday I mean for myself, and before you say well you just have to learn to not hate yourself, I say to you BULLSHIT, how can you tell me that when you too only have ill feelings towards me? You want a metaphor to how you make me feel? I feel like am dying of a sickness, and you have the cure, however will never give it to me, but rather sit there, and watch me as I die inside more, and more everyday, mocking me in every sense of the word only, because my life makes you feel better about your horrible life, so you use me as an escape from your Hell to get a taste of Heaven. Maybe I am just to melancholy to even know the differences between love, and sorrow, and thus see them as the same thing, but the truth is they can't exist without each other: Love created sorrow, sorrow created hatred, and hatred is only cured by love: it's a cycle of emotion that never ends for anyone, and am stuck in the grasps of sorrow, and that sorrow is turning into hate, yet the only person I hate is myself, and I love everyone else.  Love has made my life a nightmare, and here's the ironic thing: Even though I hate love I still desire love over all other things, and keep an open mind to the possibility even though my soul knows the truth that it shall never be.