hey

not sure if you ever will read this, but am sorry

23/4/2012

so much time was wasted,

with these dreams that tasted,

like they were worth the time,

but the mountain was not worth the climb,

every time I thought I came close,

the cons would leave the pros,

dead at the wake,

and the dreams be a mistake,

so my feet will no longer stumble,

on dreams that will only crumble

April 22, 2012

Dear my lovely readers,

Greeting people of the world I hope all is well with you, and if they are not I hope they improve for the better.

over the last week, or so I have been doing good. I have not been getting sick, and I have found myself to be happy. I spent a lot of March, and April in the hospital, but now I am pain free, but the only thing that did upset me was when my doctor told me he does not want me to get the surgery, because too many people have problems after. I understand his point of view, but at the same time I rather take the chance than be sick in the hospital all the time, even more so now due to the fact that my local hospital is not equipped to deal with  gastroenteritis, because it is a small hospital, so I have to go out of town.

I been happy though, and one thing I learned is it's not hard learning to be happy, but what's hard is learning to not let what makes you sad get to you, and not to think about it.

I ordered this book called Bird by Bird, because Mara Wilson suggested I get it to help me grow as a writer, so I hope it helps me, because in my entire life I only had one dream, and that is to be an author.

I just want to say the following to everyone who I might have upset by anything I said at any point in my life, am really sorry.

that is all for now,

I love you all deeply,

your friend,

VPK

6:02 PM

I can't conquer the blues,

as everyday that passes,

the more I miss you,

I dream of your words,

but my life is now empty,

of them, and towards,

me they shall never come,

like a rose without beauty,

I feel stuck in a state of numb,

I wish things did not go the way they did,

and things could change

and all these ill feeling we could get rid,
and rebuild what fell apart,
and begin a new,
from a new start.

absent hearts

I look for you in the dessert lands,

where your beauty glows,

I walk in search of you,

in the winters coldest snow,

my heart is in turmoil,

and wonders where did you go,

I travel across the might waters,

but do not find you though,

as my soul feels broken,

in this everlasting woe,

everyday you are missing,

is a day my sorrow will grow,

so please come back, so once again 

happiness my heart can know

3:15 on April 18th

the lights will go out,

and everything you're about,

your world of familiarity,

is clearly gone, like it was transparency,

and is no longer visible,

now you're in this world: miserable,

no amount of sips from the bottles,

will change you're life: as it topples,

as you are the drunk at the bar,

now you are a fading star,

burning out like the flame of a cigar,

and you count the says until you die,

and hate the world that will cry,

for you 'cause once dead,

you can go back to the world alive in your head,

a place you were once from,

until that day though, you shall always be numb.

fowl

birds of the feather,

chirp at the dead bodies,

laying stiff in the winter,

that were killed foul,

by the evil beak,

of the wicked fowl,

in the spring of hunger,

where they starved,

for the blood of hope,

but were only fed,

lies to their unlearned head,

so now they swoop,

above the cries of change,

only to feast on the seeds,

from the same hand,

but blindly expect the taste,

to be different