love vegetarian grandparents on the edge

everyday day I live without love is another day with out life. I can dream about love, however dreams are only dreams, and reality sets in, and the thought becomes tragic. -sigh- but none the less I do it any ways

one thing that annoys me is my family, and their lack of support in becoming a vegetation, ever since I have stop eating meat, they have tried to shove meat in my face like willies are shoved in the face of porn stars (no disrespect to porn stars), and like you think they try hard to help me out, but they are just wack anyway.


on a better note, today is father's day, and I went to my grandpa's. seeing my Grandparents is always a blessing, it's crazy how they are both in their 90's. I love how they were born on the same day, and met by exchanging love letters during the world war number two, and had the most wonderful mum in all the world, which is ironic that she was the only child they had, and my mum went on to have 7 kids. their kind of love is the kind of love I want, I admire them so much, and will always love them!!!!


I am on the edge, but I am not lady gaga, so this is not the edge of glory, but the edge of a smile.

I wish

you were like a fish, and I was like water, and you needed me in your life

it's nearly 2:30 A.M, so why not blog?

it's nearly 2:30 A.M, so why not blog?

My nephew, Jordan, has been staying here since last Tuesday, and it's really cool. I have not seen him in over four years since my sister moved to Texas then Florida. He likes to play my xbox 360, and Mortal Kombat. It's fun watching him play, and tell you about the story while winning, because he autistic, and before did not talk to much. I been talking to some of my old friends again, because why not see how they are doing, none of them were ever bad friends, but we just drifted a part I guess, but I rather have us at least talk than not talk. I really hate this city, because it is nothing but a dead zone, like there is nothing to do, no place to go you are very limited, when ever I visit the nearest big city I wish I could live in a big city where there is always something to do, and some place to go. this place is depressing.

That is all for now

not a day goes by

not a day goes by that I am not happy, I feel really alone, as if I am the only one alive even when I am with people, I am so down, sometimes I like to hear the words I care just to make sure I exist among my friends. I hate for people to see me crying, because I wonder if they understand,and I don't know if I should cry, and I don't know if I should smile. these tears are from my heart, and I wish I could tell people how my heart was feeling :(

just thinking

I am sitting in my room, starring so emptily at my wall, thinking about a few things, like, sometimes I wonder if I like dreaming so much, since my dreams are were I get peace, than why do I stay wake, so much, perhaps it's, because a dream is fiction, and I rather not live in illusions, yet at times when am awake, and in the mood, I sink deep into my imagination.

at times, I try to think I am deep, but than at other times I don't think I am deep at all, but that's were the problem lies, because this is all the the result I doubt myself so much, and because of that I can never see my self as not being worthless, but that is not how I feel now, a peace is in me right now, and I am calm at this moment, one thing about the rain is you can either be annoyed by it, or at peace with it

father's day is coming up, and to be honest I could care less. I mean I love my father, but not love him like a son should love a father, because we have no true relationship, we know little to nothing about each other, and until about a year, maybe two years ago we didn't even talk. people from his family didn't even know I existed, like, my little sister.

on a random thought I learned the lion king took a lot of its ideas from the land before time such as the circle of life, the parent dying, and five different animals coming together. also another part that is the same concept is in land before time little foot sees his mum in the clouds, and it leads him to the great valley, and in the lion king simba sees his father in the clouds, and it leads him to pride rock

thoughts

I wish I could talk to someone right now, my mind wonders mind wonders like tadpoles in the pound, like the stars in the sky, like the romantic kiss betweens lovers, I gaze at the birds over the sea, in the decaying reality of this Debris dreams close hurtfully, your eyes cry with sympathy, but love is what makes hte roses smell lovely, the rainbow be so beautiful after the heavens pour, sometimes I feel empty, as my life is worthless, but then I remember the love my family, friends, and THE LORD, have for me, and I have for them, so my emptiness does not exist, just the illusion does, so be free by love, and the chains can't hold you down.

I know this dream in reality cant be had
makes me feel like a victim as their stabbed
slowly entering deep through your skin
ripping an emotional tear deep with in
the screams of hidden thoughts
wishing to close your eyes one last time
but reality has other ideas
and your dreams fades into the darkness