so I want to a party

Dear my lovely readers,

so today I want to a party at my cousins

follow the yellow brick road

she lives in the woods, and has lots of land

lots of land is a good thing

and sexy liquor

mmm..sexy 

I was happy 

drunkstar_vic

but maybe  am too drunk, because everyone looks like a duck xD

can ducks get drunk? this I must know

on a side note she has one of those rock star bath tubes like 4 people can fit in!!!!

am in love with this tub

on a better side note I had fun today:)

happy vic is better than sad vic!!!!

I hope you all had fun today <3

that is all for now,

I love you all deeply,

your friend,

VPK

forgiveness

Dear, my lovely readers.




     I hope your day was blissful, and the world only gives you gifts of joy. I am still doing good, however there has been lots on my mind, and I have been doing lots of thinking these last few weeks, and of all the things I wish I could do, the one that is among the tp of my list is I wish I could go back in time, and not have said some of the hurtful things I said to people, because in the end it did not make me feel any better, but just more hurt, but the unfortunate thing about that is I can't go back in time, and erase my past, because the past is forever written in the book of life, but I can try to make up with the people my words have hurt by saying am sorry, and trying to make up with them.




     To be honest, am afraid those people will not accept my sorry, and I would not blame them if they did not, but with that being said I still must try, so I can move on with my life. I use to think I was humble, and wise, but the truth is I was only a fool, and needed to learn.

That is all for now, 

I love you all deeply,

your friend,

VPK

   

not feeling depressed, but diabetes is a mess

Dear my lovely readers,

     Greetings, I hope all is going well for you, and things continue to grow for the better. I have found myself being happy as of late, and at peace with myself: something I have not been in years. I wish I could tell you it was some medication am on, but I don't take any medication for depression since it only either makes you a zombie, or worse off than you already are.

     Being at peace with myself is a Beaufort feeling, and am n longer letting sorrow dictate my life, and blind me, however not all news is good when it comes to my diabetes as I can not for the life of me get my sugar under control. now a good sugar level is between 90-145, but what is mine you ask? well hear is a pic of my testing meter

maybe it is just tellin' me Hi

     how Hi is Hi you ask? higher than 600. Diabetes has pretty much f*ucked my body up. I have diabetic neuropathy in my feet, the nerves in my stomach are messed up (my stomach is why am in the hospital a lot) and my vision is not the best.

     I am currently on two different insulins, one I take at night, and is slow acting called lantus 

sticking my self with a needle is not fun

and one I take through out the day based on what my blood sugar level is called novolog

needles do not hurt me 

     and since my sugar is still doing bad the next step would be for them to install an insulin pump which I do not want. basically what the pump does is pump insulin into your body 24 hours a day, but like I said I rather not have one. it looks like this, like an MP3 player, or something. xD

that is not my body

     That is all for now, thank you all for reading my blog post, and for your time,

I love you all deeply,

Love, your friend,

VPK.

P.S this is a random pic of my garden, or backyard to you Americans :)

 somewhere in this garden is three dogs <3

I die

I die from a bullet
just to fall deep into sunshine of your eyes,
I die in Arctic snow,
just to smell the beauty of your hair,
I roast to death in fire,
just to feel the beat of your heart,
I die in deep waters,
just to taste your love.
I die a billion times over,
just to be with you once
I let them bury my bones,
just to taste your lips,
I let them bury my sprite,
just to have your heart's hand in marriage,
I die every which way,
just to be with my soulmate.

2:33 A.M

in my heart, lies the person I regret,
comfortability to the ways of my pain,
waiting for there enjoys, but hating,
who I am, you never see,
broken parted hearts of me,
cover up your eyes with the sun,
of a person worth dying for,
but even that one day too will die,
and I will no longer have to lie,
in the beds of my joy, my agony

the fact of the matter is

I find glorification in all my pain, because without pain I do not know how to live :(

tired

All my dreams are broken,
shards of glass that cut my feet,
and bleed the reality of truth,
there is no denying,
the what could have been days are gone,
and only regrets of living in this wasted town,
fills my heart, and corrupts my eyes,
as my soul searches for your promise land,
it falls empty to understand,
you.