Sequel films are wack

Dear my lovely readers,

I hope all is going well with you, and you are in a state of peace,

so a few days back on formspring, formspring asked "Do you like movie sequels?" and it got me thinking why is it part two's and so on always seem to suck? don't get me wrong there have been a few good sequels, but for every good one there has two be about ten bad ones, and it's like why? i mean do they not use the same writers,  is it the studio or maybe there is some kind of law that says most sequels have to suck, and this is not just limited to films, but music too, but this post is about films, so with that being sad here is some of the worst sequels ever made.

EVERY SINGLE AMERICAN PIE FILM 

ok, first of all there has to be about 20 sequels to the first American pie film, and every one of them are pure rubbish, the jokes are the same, the acting is not that good, and they films are only being made to make the film company money, and no reason what so ever. now they have another film out witht he first actors from the first film, so it might be ok, but then again american pie two, and wedding had the same actors as the first, and both films were not too funny, so I will not hold my breath on that one. 

The Phantom Menace

ok, so everyone loves the first um wait last three star wars, because for some reason part 4-6 came out first, but that's beside the point, but then one day part one came out, and before it came out everyone thought it was going to be a good film, but oh man how we were all wrong, the story is shit, the acting is shit, and most of all it introduced us to the shittiest character in star wars history, 

Jar Jar  fucking Binks, who must have been created when mr.lucas was either high off drugs, drunk off his ass or a sign he is losing his mind, because jar jar is pure rubbish. there was two more star wars after this, and both were not good, but both were light years better than this crap, and oh by the way if you are showing the star wars films to someone who has not seen them make sure you show part 4-6 first, because if you show 1-3 first it will tell them darth vader is luke's father, and ruin it for them.

ALL THE LAND BEFORE TIMES

OK I really hate these films, and they make me happy the dinosaurs  died off, because if this is how they lived then they all should have died off in the worst way possible. the first film did not dumb it down for kids, there was no corny songs, the story was great, and films like the lion king copied it, because it was so great (yes the lion king copied lots from the land before time), but then they decided to make sequels, and everyone of them sucked, ok first lets point out the biggest mistake they made Don Bluth, Steven Spielberg and George Lucas each whom were involved n the first film had nothing to do with any of the sequels, and unlike the first film which did not dumb it down, or have pointless songs these films were filled with them, and to make it worst in every single film they stopped the bad guy(s) the same way I mean it worked in the first film, but they could have did something different in the other films, and then they started bringing in stupid extra characters that we did not need. bottom line is go, and see the first film it's a classic, but every film after is shit.

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES III

OK, there is nothing I can say about how crappy this film is that I have not already said, but if you were to ever watch this crime against humanity may GOD have mercy on your eye, because after seen this you will want to ripe them out of your head. this is by far the worst film I ever seen, but maybe I say that, because I love TMNT, so much, but don't worry film there is a good chance the shit Bay comes out with will be even worse.

ALL MOST EVERY DISNEY FILM EVER MADE

ok,, before I start, and before anyone says am just a Disney hater let me start of by saying I love Disney, I love there films, I loved there cartoons from the past such as darkwing duck, I always loved there T.V shows, even today when people say Disney's T.V shows are not that good I find them to be good, and worth watching, but for some reason Disney has not made many good sequels, and I think the problem is while the first films are made with great productions the sequels look more like they are made for a saturday morning cartoon (R.I.P Saturday morning cartoons, oh how I miss you) and that might work for Saturday morning cartoons, but not for films, and another problem is they are poorly written. don't get me wrong not all of them are bad, but most are. the Lion King two was good, but part three, or umm one and a half was pure shit, and ruined the first film, every beauty and the beast was bad, because it tried to retell the story from the first one, because let's face it there is not much of a story you could tell after the first. A problem with Disney sequels is most of them either just tell the same story over most times through the children of the people from the first, tell a story that took place before the first film which means we already knows what happens I mean other films do this, but Disney does it bad most times. I also have to note that nearly every single Disney Pixar sequel has been good.

ALL MOST EVERY SINGLE DIRECT TO VIDEO FILM EVER MADE

OK, so I know most films from above were direct to video, but they deserved there own place on this list, and that's why I did it this way, but that's besides the point. when ever I see a film I like is having a part two my first thought is I hope this is not shit, but when ever I see the sequel is going to be a direct to video I think to me self, yup this will be shit, most part two's and threes, or in American pies case part 56 are only made for the purpose of either making money, or a tax write off or for some crazy reason the company thinks they can make a good film, and let's face it the only reason these films are made is to make money, because they know people will buy these films based on the name.

there are tones of films I could put on this list, and am sure the few of you who read this blog are thinking to yourself "how could he not talk about this film" but these were the first that came to my mind,

that is all for now, 

I love you all deeply,

your friend,

VPK

Dear Death,

Dear my lovely death,

I really enjoy your sweet kisses,

but it is now time that I left,

you my dear mistress,

you might think everything was well,

but being with you was a depression,

and like living in a cold hell,

so I am heading in a better direction,

I know you lust for me to stay,

but with you it's only sorrow,

so from you am going away,

and smiling at a better tomorrow,

and a happy today.

untitled post

My love for you is like a flower in the rain,

but even with all these drops,

my love for you shall always remain,

like a never ending fire that  burns

no weather can put my love out,

and no matter how the world turns

 my love shall never know an end

and shall always be with all my heart,

and I will always love you deeply, my dear friend.

why Batman is the greatest comic book character ever created

Dear my lovely Readers,

I hope all is going good for you, and you are at peace with the world, and you joy grows like a beautiful flower, as you all are.

so coming out this July is another new Batman film called The Dark Knight Rises, and you can pretty much bet your life savings this film will be good, but then come to think about it everything batman is good, and that is one of the reasons he is the greatest comic book character ever made, because it always works no matter what.

To begin, weather Batman is a light hearted crime fighter as in the Adam West Batman, which btw is one of the best intros to a TV show ever

or the dark story of the dark knight films, and other Batmans the story always works, and makes you want to watch it more. that would not work with most other comic book characters. if Wolverine was not like he was no one would like him, but with Batman it's different.

To continue, The story is very well written, and not only shows you the personal stuggles of Batman, but also the Villains, so it is not just he is the  Villain  role, but there are reasons why he is the way he is, for example Mr. Freeze is into crime to raise funds for his terminally ill, cryogenically frozen wife, I mean watch this video from the Batman Animated series

you can see that he is not "evil" for the sake of being evil, but, because he lost his wife, and therefore lost everything, so one has sympothy for him, and this is not just the case for Mr.Freeze, but many other  antagonist in the Batman world.


Third of all, the films, even the ones that are only ok are still good, and worth watching, but I can not say that about other films based on comic books, the third X-men film was shit, all the psider man films were shit, and not all the super man films were good, oh, and hulk, fantastic four, and others sucked too, but even the not as good as the other batman films are worth watching, and you can do the same story, yet make it different, for example in tim burton's batman, his joker, played by legendary actor jack nicholson, is different from 
 Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight joker, played by heath ledger (Rest In Peace),  yet both work, because for some reason it always works with a Batman film, maybe it is the writers, maybe it is the actors, maybe the story, but no matter what it is it always works in the end.

In Conclusion, no matter what it is, weather it is a comic, a cartoon, a live action T>v show, or a film everything Batman is good, no matter if Batman is a light hearted crime fighter, or a person with persona; struggles it works, no matter if the antagonist has a dark story, or not it works, no matter what it works when it comes to Batman.

think you for your time,
That is all for now,
your friend,
VPK

Dear michael bay,

Dear Michael bay,

so you have made some films I liked over the years such as Bad Boys, The Rock and Armageddon, and I thought you were a decent director, but oh Mr.Bay how you over the years have changed that view, and now all the films you make are nothing but a bay of shit.

First of all Mr,Bay you need to stop making films based on cartoons I grew up watching, because the only thing you do is rape them, and change too much. All your Transformers films sucked big time, but here is a crime worse than what you did to the Transformers, you have the damn nerves to change the Teenage MUTANT Ninja Turtles into freakin' aliens.

Aliens...really? do you not know that there is a difference between aliens and mutants? why must you take what is not broken, and break it then take a shit on it with your shitty ideas? oh Mr.Bay you are not alone in this, but I also put blame on the channel nickelodeon whom made the stupid choice of hiring you to make the films. really Nick, Really? did you not see how much people hated what he did to The Transformers, but maybe you are on board for these shitty changes since you are changing the weapons of the turtles, so guess what, Fuck you too.

I know you will continue to make shitty films, and I wish like the Spider Man films the company that pays for the film would step in after your shitty films, and say nope we are not letting you do another one, and we are rebooting the films, so people can get what they really want.

speaking of rebooting, why are you even rebooting TMNT? we rather just continue the story with the shredder coming back, but no you want to start over, and make them aliens.. what other changes will you make? is splinter going to go from being a rat to a talking tree, will  shredder be a pirate. will April's name be changed to May, will the Foot clan be come the hand clan, will Karai no longer exist, or exist as a male rabbit that can surf?

you know who is a good director? Christopher Nolan, both  Batman Begins, and The Dark Knight are great films, and unlike you Mr.Bay he did not ruin the films by changing anything to feed his ego, and guess what, The Dark Knight Rises wil be great too unlike anything you make these days, so maybe you should go take notes from him, but then again you are too much of a wanker, and the difference between you two is if you made the Dark Knight films Batman be an alien bat from mars were if Nolan was to make a TMNT film he get everything right, and probably make the best TMNT film ever

so in closing Mr.Bay, please stop being a twat, and making films based on cartoons I use to watch, but instead make your own damn films based on your own damn ideas, because no one will give any thought to how crappy the film is, because at least your not ruining something, or better yet just retire, and go became a monk, so we never have to see you again, and while were at changing things here is an idea for you since you like to change things, go change your name to the classic cartoon rapist, because all you do is rape classic cartoons.

your Enemy,
VPK

P.S you better in your life never make a film based on Thundercats, and Voltron

P.S part two: this is how I feel in case you are too dumb to understand I am saying fuck you Mr.Bay

Jenny Lorenzo's twitter, go, and follow her

video courtesy of Aggressive Comix

The frustration of being a Wu-Tang fan

Dear my lovely readers.

I hope all is going fantastic for you, and your world is filled with joy,

so as many of you know, should know or will know after this post the Hip Hop group known as the Wu-Tang Clan is my favourite band of all time in all music. They have been since they first came out in 1993. Wu tang is a ground breaking band for many reasons, they are the first Hip Hop group with so many members, and different styles. Wu tang also made history by signing a ground breaking contract were they could all sign solo deals with another record company if they liked (looking back that was a dumb move by loud records) Wu has and always will be my favourite group, however being a fan of the Wu is frustrating for a few simple reasons that are annoying, and in my view is what kept them from being greater than what they are.

Reason Number One

 it takes them forever to come out with new albums. Here is what I mean the first Wu Tang album came out in the year of 1993, so they been out for 20 years next year in 2013, so how many group albums do you think they have? ten? fifteen? nope try five, five freaking albums in 20 years. am not genius at maths, but I think that is an album every four years I mean I know bands who have five albums in five years.

Reason Number Two

Oh it does not just end with band albums besides Ghostface Killah, and Raekwon it also takes them forever to make solo albums. Method man has been coming out with his "final" (in music final means not for long" for like 3 years.

Reason Number Three

the reason they can never come out with albums fast enough all breaks down to the fact the members of the Wu-Tang are not on the same page, hell am not even sure they are even in the same book. you might think they all chill with each other, but nope only once in a while. It's pretty much like they are only a band by name, but after the joe budden thing (joe was talking shit about Method man, so raekwon punched him in the eye) I guess they are still a "family" in a way.

Over the years The Wu's music has not been as good as it was when they first came out, and there last album 8 diagrams can be considered their Chinese Democracy (any chance I get to point out how shitty that album is Axl am going to take until the whole world knows you fucked up GnR), however the only difference is 8 diagrams is at least an ok album, and once in a great while worth listening to were Chinese Democracy is just pure rubbish, but hear is what I mean this is a song from their album the W

and this is from their last album

but I guess tyhey just got older, or as the other 8 members would put it the Rza is just nuts these days as the other eight members hated the album, and am not sure, but I think they never perform any songs at concerts from the album

that is all for now,

I love you all deeply,

your friend,

VPK

Dear Axl Rose,

Dear Axl Rose,

when I was little a group came out known as Guns n' Roses, and the first video I seen of yours was Welcome To The Jungle, 

and I was in love, and at the age of five in the year of 1987 Appetite for Destruction was the first album I ever had, and I loved it. slash was, and still is the greatest guitar player of all time, and I loved your vocals Axl. I mean listen to this song  sweet child o mine, the lyrics, and the guitar are purely amazing!!!!

and GnR came out with two more great albums Use Your Illusion I and II that had great songs like this,

     

but then Guns n' Roses broke up, and the album they promised us Chines Democracy became a dream, that for years looked like it was never going to happen, but years later this happened 

       

and I was like no fucking way, and my joy went through the roof, but that was short lived when I seem it was not the original GnR, but a "new" version in which you tried to replace people such as the legend Slash

with some guy who wears a KFC bucket on his head 

don't get me wrong Mr.Head is not bad, but he is no slash, but despite this I had hope that Chines Democracy was still going to be worth the wait, but damn was I wrong, and the album was pure shit, and a waste of waiting for. 

then the original Guns n' Roses gets inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but then you have the nerve to say you want nothing to do with them? well guess what with out them you fucking suck,  your "new" version of GnR fucking sucks, and you are a pure piece of shit, so fuck you!!!!

thank you for your time Axl, but stop making music unless you stop being a dick, and reunite with the Original GnR, but if you do continue to make the crappy music you have been making aka Chines Democracy please for the love of God, man, animals everything do not call it Guns n' Roses, because you're only lying.

that is all for now,

your friend,

VPK